We are so happy to share that we have a new son! Gabriel was born last month and is doing wonderfully. We enjoyed our family time while Ben was home and everyone seems to be acclimating well to our newest source of joy and astonishment.
It’s always amazing how much a new baby changes the family dynamic. We are moving at a slower pace again, keeping some new hours and discovering new problems and solutions. There are some baby routines that I’m right back in step with, like diapers, oh the diapers! At the same time, I’m racking my brain to remember how often a 1 month old should be nursing at night. Don’t get me started on how on earth we will ever homeschool in the fall. I know we will do it, I’m just still at a loss for how. More on that later this summer I’m sure.
One of the overwhelming parts of having a new baby, at least for me, is the amount of choices presented to new parents. Breast or bottle? Cloth or disposable diapers? Circumcision or not? Sleep training? Elimination Communication? Baby TV shows or strict no screens? Pacifier? When to start solids? Catch my drift? It’s no wonder so many new parents have the deer in the headlights look when asked anything about anything! Choices are good, but they can often be paralyzing if there are too many or you don’t have an informed opinion.
Even now, with Gabe being our 5th, there has been an element of this paralysis. Should we try cloth diapers again? We have SO many, is it a waste to let them sit unused? I have always nursed the kids, that’s not a question. However for whatever reason this time I felt compelled to have Gabe be familiar with bottles on the off chance we needed to use them. So now we are working through the whole bottle/breastfeeding combo deal even though I will still be home 24/7. I’m sure we will come to others.
Fortunately, God is always looking out for me. I’ve recently started receiving The Morning Offering email from The Catholic Company. It was quite by accident. I had ordered a crucifix for John for his First Communion through them and ended up on a mailing list. And I’m so thankful! This email has provided much food for thought and encouragement for me the past two months. A few weeks ago, this passage came my way and cause me to pause:
“If we do not die to ourselves, and if our holiest devotions do not incline us to this necessary and useful death, we shall bring forth no fruit worth anything, and our devotions will become useless. All our good works will be stained by self-love and our own will . . . We must choose therefore, among all the devotions to the Blessed Virgin, the one which draws us most toward this death to ourselves, inasmuch as it will be the best and the most sanctifying. For we must not think that all that shines is gold, that all that tastes sweet is honey, or that all that is easy to do and is done by the greatest number is the most sanctifying.”
— St. Louis De Montfort, True Devotion to Mary, pg 40
This resonated with me on so many levels. It’s easy, both religiously and as parents, to get caught up in all the “stuff.” “If I just add cloth diapers, then I’m really doing well.” Or “I’m saying this rosary because I know that it’s a big deal, and I’ll probably get some grace out of it, but I’m not exactly paying attention.”
As parents, we cannot give our kids everything. Simply impossible. There will always be another family who chose a different sport, discipline method or clothing brand. Sometimes the choice that is right isn’t easy, but we know will bring about a greater good for our family.
As Christians and Catholics living in the world today, it is unlikely we are able to engage in every spiritual practice of the Church every single day. Just as we make choices for and about our kids, we do concerning our religious practices. I am humbled by St. Louis de Montfort’s advice to dig deeper into the religious practices I’m engaging in. What is easy may not be the most sanctifying practice. This will look different for each person and will change over time.
We are called to be holy. Part of growing in holiness is making the choices that keep us on the path toward that end.