Kate – Page 103 – Daily Graces

They’ll be here any minute!

Published on September 8, 2015September 7, 2015 by Kate1 Comment

Everyone knows the feeling. Company is coming for dinner, the bathroom still needs to be cleaned, floors are barely swept and you are frantically changing the baby’s diaper explosion. Ok, so maybe not everyone knows that specific scenario but insert your own life experience and I’m sure you’ll get the picture.

Anyway, that was us to a a certain degree today. It seems to me that I am the most efficient cleaner in those few minutes before the doorbell is expected to ring. Also, I must have a second set of eyes, because I am able to much more clearly see all the things that need to be cleaned or dusted that apparently I was unable to discern just days prior. It’s rather embarrassing really. We are capable of being much more prepared.

Maybe you’re not like me. And if you aren’t like me, I’m rather jealous of you. If you aren’t like me, then you sweep and vacuum your floors often, and if you happen to have a dog that likes to roll around in the dust and dirt then you sweep and vacuum multiple times a day. You also don’t have a 4 year old boy using your bathrooms. And you have some kind of stain and grease resistant kitchen counter tops that don’t require constant scrubbing.

I’m being sarcastic of course. I know that there are people out there who are much better cleaners than I am, and I’m sure somewhere there is someone who is a worse cleaner (maybe). Regardless, I am always amazed at how much cleaning I get done before someone comes over. Amazed and dismayed. If I can clean this well and quickly before someone comes to my house, why can’t I do it all the time?

As I was musing on this while sweeping the floor this afternoon, wishing I was more prepared, I thought about how I’m not the only one with this kind of problem. In fact, there were people with my same or similar issue all the way back to Jesus’ time. Think about it, especially as an issue of preparedness. Jesus tells a parable about 10 virgins waiting for the bridegroom to arrive. 5 were wise and prepared, bringing extra oil with them just in case the bridegroom was late. 5 were not so wise. When the bridegroom did arrive, late, only 5 women had enough oil to light their lamps.

Cultivating a habit of preparation might be in order for our household. Rather than frantically piecing together the house, we are very capable of systematically keeping order, if we make it a priority.

Jesus told His disciples that He would return again, and the early Christians believed that His second coming was imminent. Time has continued to pass and we are still waiting for Jesus to come. The Church hasn’t changed it’s stance on this, we are in fact still waiting for Jesus to return. Even though so much time has passed, our level of preparation should not be any different than those early Christians.

Just like our physical houses need to be kept clean and orderly, so do our spiritual houses, our inner selves. Do we pray regularly? If we do pray, are we taking time to listen to God as well as speak to Him? Do we spend time in quiet reflection, contemplating how we make decisions and discerning the direction of our lives? Do we belong to a worshiping community that helps us stay accountable to the morals and virtues espoused by our faith? Do we share our faith with others, especially our spouse and children?

Personally, I believe that when I have good spiritual habits and practices, it is easier for me to keep other areas of my life, my home included, in good order. What do you think?

Feel free to leave comments and join in the conversation! =)

That thing you’ve been meaning to do….

Published on September 4, 2015September 3, 2015 by KateLeave a comment

We all have something we’ve been meaning to do or take care of. Maybe it’s folding the laundry and then actually putting it in the drawers. Maybe it’s clicking “Unsubscribe” on the daily junk email or advertisement you keep deleting and it keeps coming. Maybe it’s writing your son’s thank you notes for his birthday that was 3 months ago (not speaking from experience here at all…sorry everyone).

Perhaps the thing you’ve been meaning to do is less tangible. Maybe it’s calling a friend you haven’t spoke with in a while. Maybe it’s finding some space in your day for quiet stillness. Maybe it’s a lifestyle change – food, exercise, schedule, etc.

Something I’ve noticed about putting things off, tangible or not, is that the longer I wait, the larger the task becomes. It’s easy to see with the tangible things. For example, the laundry. The longer I leave the basket of clean but not folded or organized clothes out, the harder it becomes to put away. Everyone starts shifting through the clothes, finding what they need and leaving the pile behind them. After a few days, it almost makes sense, in some twisted logic kind of way, to just leave it. The basket is half empty and laundry day is coming up again soon anyway. Just let it ride and I can try again next time.

For some things, it becomes embarrassing. Take the example of the thank you notes that in no way are one of the key points of inspiration for this blog post. The longer we waited to write them, the more embarrassing it got in my head. But, instead of buckling down and just writing the darn things, I would conveniently find something else that needed to be done since I didn’t want to own up to the fact that the cards would be so late.

Procrastinating on more intangible things is just as problematic. I think we all probably have a friend that we wish we kept in better touch with. I know I do. Quite a few in fact. We have so many means of communication at our disposal – email, Facebook, texting, a phone call. But, at least for me, I find it hard to connect with someone when we’ve been out of touch for a period of time. Maybe this is a side-effect of our ability to have constant communication and connection. Since I don’t know everything that has happened to them over the past few months and they don’t know what has happened to me, how can we possibly catch up all that time? It becomes a barrier to reaching out at all, which means I’m missing out on some special relationships because of my own hang-ups and tendency to over-think everything.

While I’ve been thinking about things I’ve been meaning to do, coincidentally while avoiding doing these exact things (a laundry basket is within eyesight, I promise to fold it tonight….or tomorrow), I stumbled across the thought that maybe this is one reason why it hard for people to start to pray after avoiding it. Think about the reasons why we might not strike up a conversation with someone who we haven’t talked with in a while. You don’t know where they are in life anymore. You don’t know what trials they have faced. What if you bring up something awkward or accidentally stir a pot you didn’t realize you were stirring? What they do the same for you? They don’t know what’s been happening with you. I imagine that some of these thoughts might be played out in our minds when we think about our conversations, or lack of them, with God.

The thing that we have probably forgotten in all our wonderings is that unlike our friend who hasn’t been walking our journey with us, God has. We might not have been talking to him, but He has been talking to us. While we were neglecting to include Him in our daily routines, He has been ever-present. So the thought that God may not know what we’ve been going through is simply not true. No matter what we’ve encountered and regardless of how long it’s been, God wants to renew His relationship with us.

Thankfully, God isn’t like the laundry basket, slowly being emptied only to be refilled with more dirty laundry. God is always ready for us, always willing to be with us and always, even in this moment, actively pursuing us. When coming to God in prayer, especially after a period of silence, don’t get hung up on what you haven’t been saying. Just start talking.

Pray as you can, not as you can’t.

God answers every prayer… and sometimes He says “No” or “Wait”.

If you experience dryness in prayer or a time when you come to Mass and feel like you didn’t get anything out of it, then that’s a good day… That’s a day where you get to choose to love God for His sake and not for what He can do for you.
Father Mike Schmitz

Seizing Opportunity

Published on August 29, 2015August 29, 2015 by KateLeave a comment

For those of us planners out there, spontaneity may be a challenge. As Ben and I look forward to our 5 year wedding anniversary, I can gladly look back and say that I have relaxed into a more spontaneous person because of our relationship. Nothing puts this better on display than our recent vacation to Disneyland.

Ben had just returned from deployment and we had been blessed with a gift of a 3-day hopper pass from a family member. Military life being what it is, we were not able to plan out months in advance when we would use this pass. Not wanting to let the time slip away or bank on an opportunity down the road, we decided to go for it. Within 10 days or so of deciding to go to Disney, we were there. Crazy – but perfect. Looking back, I’m so glad that we did not overthink the decision. We talked, reasoned both sides and made a decision.

We were so excited to go, we even broke one of our cardinal parenting rules: telling the kids about something before it’s imminent arrival. They had no concept of “Disney” or what was in store for them. We didn’t want them to go in completely unprepared for the massive, overwhelming experience we were going to be throwing them into. So, we started talking about going to visit Mickey Mouse, seeing Sleeping Beauty’s castle, Lightening McQueen’s racetrack, etc. Once they got the idea of vacation in their head, it was all they could do to keep their shoes off.

Finally, when Ben could take no more, he got out a calendar and put it up in John and Rosie’s room. It happened to be 3 days before we were leaving. Ben brought John and Rosie in and sat them down in front of the calendar. He put a sticker on the present day. Then, another one on the day we were leaving. Together, they counted the spaces between. “We have to wait 3 days,” Ben told them. “John, do you remember anyone else who had to wait 3 days for something to happen?” Ben asked. John thought for a bit, and after some prompting, remembered from school that the disciples had to wait 3 days for Jesus to rise.

John was so proud he remembered this connection. I was not in the room so didn’t know the incredible theology lesson Ben was conducting. John came running to the kitchen to tell me how he had to wait for vacation, just like the disciples had to wait for Jesus. I was so proud of him and so impressed with Ben. Ben saw an opportunity to connect faith and life in such a practical way that John could understand.

Disney provided us another such opportunity. John had a less then wonderful Disney experience. John struggles with some anxiety and fear of the unknown. He was doing great with the rides and thrills until he rode on a rather fast race car ride that included a dark tunnel. After this, unless he could see exactly what happened the whole time on a ride beforehand, he was more than reluctant to try it out.

We were so lucky to have my mom be able to come with us on our spontaneous Disney adventure. She was such a help, especially with John’s meltdowns and irrational behavior. At one point, she pulled John aside and they talked quietly for a bit. When they were done, she said that John was going to try hard to make a sacrifice for the family. Though he really wanted to go back to the hotel, he would stay with the family since everyone else wanted to be at the park. We talked about how sacrifices are hard and there were many times that he didn’t want to make the sacrifice. But, we were able to help him through it. His knowledge of Jesus’ sacrifice for us, even though limited, helped him to connect with what he was attempting to do for the family.

These are the moments that I cherish. Moments that God gives us to feel His presence and honor His working in our lives. I’m sure there were other ways for us to help John deal with waiting for vacation and then deal with the vacation itself. I am inspired by the witness and demonstration of faith that both Ben and my mom gave to John and Rosie. They saw an opportunity to share a piece of faith in the everyday ordinary and instead of shying away, they chose to bring God into the kids’ lives. Mine as well.