Kate – Page 112 – Daily Graces

Happy Easter – Moments of Resurrection

Published on April 5, 2015April 6, 2015 by Kate2 Comments

Happy Easter! Alleluia, rejoice! Jesus is Risen!

It has been so sweet, hearing John reciting the Easter story, trying to wrap his 3 and a half year old brain around mysteries that the wisest believers struggle to comprehend – Jesus died on the cross and rose, out of love for a broken humanity, so that we could once again live forever with God is perfect happiness and love. We have been talking about it all week and have spent a lot of time at church as well. My awareness has been raised because of all the talk. John will randomly come up to me, eyes wide and serious, “Mommy, Jesus died on the cross and there were dark clouds.” or “Mommy, Jesus isn’t dead anymore. He’s alive and we get to go to heaven!” It’s incredible, this little child professing such deep theological truths. Even though he doesn’t really know what he is saying, really, when I think about it, neither do I.

I don’t really understand what this all means. Jesus died. He was dead. That, for any human, is a final event. There aren’t any outs, substitutions or alternatives. But Jesus isn’t just any human, as we all know. Jesus was also totally, completely and definitively God. How you may ask? Yes, another mystery. So in case you haven’t figured it out yet, there’s a whole lot of mystery going on when it comes to the death and resurrection of Jesus.

But he rose. We know he rose. There wouldn’t be any Christianity if Jesus didn’t rise. If Jesus just died, then he would be remembered as a holy man, a wise sage, an inspiring preacher. But certainly not someone worth dying brutal deaths for – certainly not God. Jesus, a dead man, rose from the dead. He conquered death, the ultimate reality of our existence. It’s beyond understanding.

Our God is so good. He understands that these mysteries are quite beyond any of our comprehension. In His wisdom and in our forefather’s attention to the workings of the Holy Spirit, we are able to realize that the Resurrection of Jesus does not need to be a purely historical event.

Everyday, we experience moments of resurrection. Some moments are huge, like when just the other day, Ben returned home from a deployment. The joy and the love that our family experienced at his homecoming was the fulfillment of all the moments of crucifixion (pain, sorrow, struggle, etc.) that we experienced when he was away. As a family, we experienced rebirth in our reunion.

Moments of resurrection don’t need to be big. We have been talking with John about how he is a big brother and big brothers help to take care of their siblings. Just yesterday, I asked John to get his milk out of the refrigerator for dinner. He did and got Rosie her’s as well. He brought it to the table and told her, “Don’t worry Rosie, I got your milk for dinner.” It was a beautiful moment – a moment of resurrection. One of love, selflessness and responsibility. For me, as a mom, this was fantastic, a moment of resurrection! I was so proud of John and his awareness of not only his sister’s needs, but mine as well.

Moments of resurrection can and do happen every day. We experience them, or miss them, depending on how we choose to perceive them.

Happy Easter

Honking Horns

Published on April 3, 2015April 2, 2015 by KateLeave a comment

We were heading home from a grocery store. The kids and I had ventured off base on a rather blustery day (we’ve been watching Winnie the Pooh lately) in search of some more fresh fish for our Good Friday dinner. We actually had a great time at the store. John and Rosie did well and didn’t pull one another’s hair too often. Clare giggled and cooed at all the right moments when friendly shoppers stopped us to cluck and her and comment on how I must have my hands full. We played with the scales in the produce department, John and Rosie guessing how much different items would weigh, much to the delight of one store worker stocking onions. We even remembered to find little chocolates to put in the middle of our soon-to-be-made rice krispy treat Easter eggs (I decided decorating hard boiled this year was inviting unnecessary angst and stress this year so we are opting for a more toddler/young child friendly version).

Everything was going well. On our way home, we stopped at a red light and were planning on turning right. The cars across from us had a green left turn so we were obviously waiting before proceeding even though a right on red was perfectly legal. I don’t trust cars turning left to automatically stay in the left lane and sure enough, cars were using both lanes to turn where I wanted to. We were content to wait our turn. No big deal.

Apparently, however, it was a big deal. The car behind us honked. John asked “Oh Mommy, what was that?” I replied that it was a car horn, but I don’t think it was at us since we weren’t doing anything wrong. Then, a few seconds later, a much longer and louder honk occurred and it sounded pretty close by, perhaps even the car right behind us. A few others chimed in as well – there was a line of 3 or 4 cars all waiting to turn right with us.

No – could they be honking at me? I don’t get honked at, truly. I think I’m a pretty good driver. I don’t speed (much) and living on bases for 4 years has taught me to do a complete stop at every stop sign. I don’t run lights, I do my best not to cut people off. I let pedestrians go first and I almost never forget my turn signal.

Well, the light switched to green and I turned right, staying in the right lane. The car behind me swung around into the left lane and sped past. As the car flew by us, the man driving turned and gave me a dirty look – clearly the impatient and impolite honker. I got so mad!

I was doing the right thing. I was following the rules of the road and keeping everyone safe. I was waiting patiently and not causing a risky situation. What hurt even more was that others joined in that first car. All honking at me, the person doing the right thing. It wasn’t right and it certainly wasn’t fair or just. I said a few things I probably shouldn’t under my breath and drove on, part of me wishing I had followed that car into the parking lot he had to get to in such a rush to make him explain himself.

As we drove home, I cooled off. I started to think about how quickly I let my emotions get out of control. I had just finished explaining to John and Rosie that we were starting a very special time in the Church year and how we remembered when Jesus died and rose for us so we could have eternal life with God in heaven. Jesus didn’t do anything wrong. He was a good Jew, a good listener, a wise preacher, and a good friend. What happened to Jesus, starting the night after the Last Supper and through to his terrible death was not just. It was not fair. And yet Jesus did not complain. He did not lash out, he didn’t try to run away. Jesus accepted all of the hurt, the pain, the injustice and through his resurrection, transforms them into love, peace, forgiveness and salvation.

I’m not saying that having someone honk their car horn unfairly in your direction is in anyway comparable to the sacrifice of Jesus, our Lord and Savior. However, it is an opportunity to unite yourself in a small way to that sacrifice that Jesus made for each one of us. Instead of getting frustrated and upset, I should have remained gracious and peaceful. Yes, the man was in the wrong. But that does not make my reaction right.

Conquering Fears – Halibut Style

Published on April 1, 2015April 2, 2015 by Kate1 Comment

I have a confession – I am scared of fish. Not happy alive fish swimming in a river or cute little fish in aquariums. No, I mean the fish at the store that is staring at you with those lifeless eyes or the big bags of frozen shrimp. The fish on ice, those are the fish that make me walk quickly through the supermarket (here on base, we call it the commissary) and wrinkle my nose at the smell. So, I ask you, do you think I would enjoy cooking fish? Fairly obviously, you probably can guess the answer is no.

I was not raised eating fish. We didn’t even have fish sticks, which probably don’t even have all that much fish in them. My mom doesn’t really like fish, though she is trying. But fish wasn’t in her cooking wheelhouse while we were growing up, which means it isn’t in mine. At all. I was just telling Ben that I don’t even know how to tell when a fish is cooked, much less how to cook one.

Ben likes fish. When he is flying on the road, he spends a lot of time in the Pacific. He is always telling me about the sushi he had here, the tuna sliders he had there, and all sorts of things that I can’t imagine eating, let alone trying to cook. When I told him about not knowing when a fish is cooked, he laughed. He said it didn’t matter too much since you can eat most fish raw so if it’s a little under, no big deal. What?!? If I had any hopes of raising the courage to attempt cooking some fish, there it went, swimming away with the thought of “who cares if it’s a little raw.”

But, and there’s always a but, fish is so good for you! We are supposed to eat fish something like 2 or 3 times a week! That’s a lot of fish. A lot. Sometimes it’s hard to do things that are good for us when we don’t want to do them. Depending on the task, it could appear impossible. These challenges can arise anywhere in our lives. For a lot of people, myself included, taking the time to work out is hard. It’s something we all should do, but we find other things to do instead or make excuses about why we don’t have the time. Our bodies can suffer because of our lack of discipline in this area.

Another common area that gets pushed into the back corner of our life is prayer and church. What better time to do some shopping than on Sunday morning when everyone else is a church, right? Maybe not so much. At least based on what God asks of us, to keep holy the Sabbath. It’s interesting, whenever I talk to someone about church and they aren’t presently going, they are quick to come up with reasons why they are not attending. It’s as if there is some part of them that is saying, “Yes you have all these reasons why not to go, but you should probably figure out a way anyway.”

This is the voice in my head when it comes to fish. So, begrudgingly, and while grumbling under my breath, I headed to a grocery store that Ben says has quality fresh fish. I went to one of my trusted recipe websites, http://thepioneerwoman.com/. Everything she makes is simple, a bit rustic, and I have been able to execute well. So, I found this recipe for fresh halibut: http://thepioneerwoman.com/cooking/2009/10/bronzed-sea-bass-with-lemon-shallot-butter/. Technically, her recipe is for a piece of sea bass but she claimed that it would work with halibut too. I followed the directions and I’m pretty sure, though I guess there’s no way to know since Ben was gone at the time, if I actually cooked it all the way. And even if the fish wasn’t exactly perfect, smothering anything in a lemon butter sauce (I didn’t have shallots so I just left them out) has to be edible at least. The kids and I ate it – and I didn’t explode, implode or otherwise suffer injury. The kids didn’t either – John even asked for seconds! Crazy, if you ask me. Crazy good.

I’m excited to make this recipe again when Ben is home. I can’t believe I just wrote that sentence – I’m excited to cook fish. Me! The person who at the start admitted to being terrified of the thought. That’s how these things happen. We work up the courage to try something, even just once. We find a trusted guide, stay the course and relish the results. I can and should apply this lesson to other areas of my life – like getting proper exercise. I’m a work in progress, check back with me in a few months. Maybe others can glean some wisdom from my fish-scapades, maybe even gather the course to try church again, even just once.