Everyday Ordinary – Page 93

Foresight

Published on September 11, 2015September 8, 2015 by KateLeave a comment

Happy Friday! I hope you all have had a good week and are looking forward to a fun, relaxing weekend that isn’t as hot as it will be here!

Thank goodness for my husband. Sometimes I’m not sure what he is thinking, but it usually turns out well.

We both have been complaining for more than 2 years, probably, that we needed a new printer. The printer we had was from Ben’s college days and he found it at a thrift shop. We had pretty much stopped printing anything because it seems to run on ink rather than electricity. Each time we had family come to visit we would have to purchase a new ink cartridge so that they could print their boarding passes. That’s about all the printing the printer would handle before claiming to be out of ink.

Instead of dealing with the root of the problem, we just stopped printing. Then, after a particular round of complaints last month (delivered by yours truly but without any real intention to replace the printer), Ben said, Let’s just go and get a new one this afternoon.

Now, usually when Ben makes an electronics purchase involves a few weeks of reading reviews, comparing products and prices. But this time was different. We went, he compared the few in the store, read a review or two on his phone, and made a decision. I minded the kids, knowing that his knowledge base in this area was better than mine. Though I was concerned we were making this purchase a little hastily. When I spoke to Ben about it, he was so confident that this was the right time and the selection he had made would fit our needs and budget.

I am so thankful that I trusted him, rather than arguing. We are homeschooling both John (kindergarten) and Rosie (preschool) this year. When we were struggling with the old printer, I hadn’t thought of the possible need I would have while working on schooling for the kids. With this new printer, I’ve printed already probably more than we had as a family 3 years! Even some things in color (please insert a shocked sound here).

Now this may seem like a simple, silly little story. But it illustrates a very valuable thing about the sacrament of marriage. Catholics believe that the 7 Sacraments (Baptism, Eucharist, Confirmation, Marriage, Holy Orders, Anointing of the Sick, and Reconciliation) are specific moments of God’s grace. Grace is all around us and God is always extending the gift of grace. However, we understand these sacramental moments to be time of specific grace, grace designed for a certain purpose. At Baptism, we are welcomed into the Church and original sin is washed away. We are given grace for our new journey as Christians on the way to heaven. At Anointing of the Sick, the person receiving the sacrament is anointed with blessed oil, symbolically putting on the armor of God. They are spiritually strengthened to face their illness, be it physical, emotional or psychological. In marriage, each spouse is gifted with specific grace for the other. Part of the covenant of marriage is a commitment to help one another journey to heaven. Each person’s journey is unique, but in Marriage the spouses journey together, called to become one.

I personally believe that Ben has been given specific grace by God that is for my benefit and growth. I believe I have been given grace in the same way for him. Though my printer story probably wouldn’t show up in a slide show of defining moments of my faith journey, it was an opportunity for me to recognize and respect the strengths that Ben has been given and the insights he has. Looking back, I could have fought his decision. I’m thankful that I resisted that temptation. 1, because now my life is way easier with the new printer. But more importantly, it was an opportunity to practice looking beyond myself and allowing the grace Ben has been given to flow through him and into our marriage. This was just a small thing. Someday, I’m sure there will be something much larger and more significant. I pray I will be able to recognize God’s grace working through him and instead of pridefully standing in its way, I will have the humility to let the grace of our shared sacrament bless our marriage.

If you are married, have you experienced any moments like this? If you aren’t, do you have any memories or experiences where you felt grace from a sacrament? Looking forward to hearing from you all!

That thing you’ve been meaning to do….

Published on September 4, 2015September 3, 2015 by KateLeave a comment

We all have something we’ve been meaning to do or take care of. Maybe it’s folding the laundry and then actually putting it in the drawers. Maybe it’s clicking “Unsubscribe” on the daily junk email or advertisement you keep deleting and it keeps coming. Maybe it’s writing your son’s thank you notes for his birthday that was 3 months ago (not speaking from experience here at all…sorry everyone).

Perhaps the thing you’ve been meaning to do is less tangible. Maybe it’s calling a friend you haven’t spoke with in a while. Maybe it’s finding some space in your day for quiet stillness. Maybe it’s a lifestyle change – food, exercise, schedule, etc.

Something I’ve noticed about putting things off, tangible or not, is that the longer I wait, the larger the task becomes. It’s easy to see with the tangible things. For example, the laundry. The longer I leave the basket of clean but not folded or organized clothes out, the harder it becomes to put away. Everyone starts shifting through the clothes, finding what they need and leaving the pile behind them. After a few days, it almost makes sense, in some twisted logic kind of way, to just leave it. The basket is half empty and laundry day is coming up again soon anyway. Just let it ride and I can try again next time.

For some things, it becomes embarrassing. Take the example of the thank you notes that in no way are one of the key points of inspiration for this blog post. The longer we waited to write them, the more embarrassing it got in my head. But, instead of buckling down and just writing the darn things, I would conveniently find something else that needed to be done since I didn’t want to own up to the fact that the cards would be so late.

Procrastinating on more intangible things is just as problematic. I think we all probably have a friend that we wish we kept in better touch with. I know I do. Quite a few in fact. We have so many means of communication at our disposal – email, Facebook, texting, a phone call. But, at least for me, I find it hard to connect with someone when we’ve been out of touch for a period of time. Maybe this is a side-effect of our ability to have constant communication and connection. Since I don’t know everything that has happened to them over the past few months and they don’t know what has happened to me, how can we possibly catch up all that time? It becomes a barrier to reaching out at all, which means I’m missing out on some special relationships because of my own hang-ups and tendency to over-think everything.

While I’ve been thinking about things I’ve been meaning to do, coincidentally while avoiding doing these exact things (a laundry basket is within eyesight, I promise to fold it tonight….or tomorrow), I stumbled across the thought that maybe this is one reason why it hard for people to start to pray after avoiding it. Think about the reasons why we might not strike up a conversation with someone who we haven’t talked with in a while. You don’t know where they are in life anymore. You don’t know what trials they have faced. What if you bring up something awkward or accidentally stir a pot you didn’t realize you were stirring? What they do the same for you? They don’t know what’s been happening with you. I imagine that some of these thoughts might be played out in our minds when we think about our conversations, or lack of them, with God.

The thing that we have probably forgotten in all our wonderings is that unlike our friend who hasn’t been walking our journey with us, God has. We might not have been talking to him, but He has been talking to us. While we were neglecting to include Him in our daily routines, He has been ever-present. So the thought that God may not know what we’ve been going through is simply not true. No matter what we’ve encountered and regardless of how long it’s been, God wants to renew His relationship with us.

Thankfully, God isn’t like the laundry basket, slowly being emptied only to be refilled with more dirty laundry. God is always ready for us, always willing to be with us and always, even in this moment, actively pursuing us. When coming to God in prayer, especially after a period of silence, don’t get hung up on what you haven’t been saying. Just start talking.

Pray as you can, not as you can’t.

God answers every prayer… and sometimes He says “No” or “Wait”.

If you experience dryness in prayer or a time when you come to Mass and feel like you didn’t get anything out of it, then that’s a good day… That’s a day where you get to choose to love God for His sake and not for what He can do for you.
Father Mike Schmitz

Seizing Opportunity

Published on August 29, 2015August 29, 2015 by KateLeave a comment

For those of us planners out there, spontaneity may be a challenge. As Ben and I look forward to our 5 year wedding anniversary, I can gladly look back and say that I have relaxed into a more spontaneous person because of our relationship. Nothing puts this better on display than our recent vacation to Disneyland.

Ben had just returned from deployment and we had been blessed with a gift of a 3-day hopper pass from a family member. Military life being what it is, we were not able to plan out months in advance when we would use this pass. Not wanting to let the time slip away or bank on an opportunity down the road, we decided to go for it. Within 10 days or so of deciding to go to Disney, we were there. Crazy – but perfect. Looking back, I’m so glad that we did not overthink the decision. We talked, reasoned both sides and made a decision.

We were so excited to go, we even broke one of our cardinal parenting rules: telling the kids about something before it’s imminent arrival. They had no concept of “Disney” or what was in store for them. We didn’t want them to go in completely unprepared for the massive, overwhelming experience we were going to be throwing them into. So, we started talking about going to visit Mickey Mouse, seeing Sleeping Beauty’s castle, Lightening McQueen’s racetrack, etc. Once they got the idea of vacation in their head, it was all they could do to keep their shoes off.

Finally, when Ben could take no more, he got out a calendar and put it up in John and Rosie’s room. It happened to be 3 days before we were leaving. Ben brought John and Rosie in and sat them down in front of the calendar. He put a sticker on the present day. Then, another one on the day we were leaving. Together, they counted the spaces between. “We have to wait 3 days,” Ben told them. “John, do you remember anyone else who had to wait 3 days for something to happen?” Ben asked. John thought for a bit, and after some prompting, remembered from school that the disciples had to wait 3 days for Jesus to rise.

John was so proud he remembered this connection. I was not in the room so didn’t know the incredible theology lesson Ben was conducting. John came running to the kitchen to tell me how he had to wait for vacation, just like the disciples had to wait for Jesus. I was so proud of him and so impressed with Ben. Ben saw an opportunity to connect faith and life in such a practical way that John could understand.

Disney provided us another such opportunity. John had a less then wonderful Disney experience. John struggles with some anxiety and fear of the unknown. He was doing great with the rides and thrills until he rode on a rather fast race car ride that included a dark tunnel. After this, unless he could see exactly what happened the whole time on a ride beforehand, he was more than reluctant to try it out.

We were so lucky to have my mom be able to come with us on our spontaneous Disney adventure. She was such a help, especially with John’s meltdowns and irrational behavior. At one point, she pulled John aside and they talked quietly for a bit. When they were done, she said that John was going to try hard to make a sacrifice for the family. Though he really wanted to go back to the hotel, he would stay with the family since everyone else wanted to be at the park. We talked about how sacrifices are hard and there were many times that he didn’t want to make the sacrifice. But, we were able to help him through it. His knowledge of Jesus’ sacrifice for us, even though limited, helped him to connect with what he was attempting to do for the family.

These are the moments that I cherish. Moments that God gives us to feel His presence and honor His working in our lives. I’m sure there were other ways for us to help John deal with waiting for vacation and then deal with the vacation itself. I am inspired by the witness and demonstration of faith that both Ben and my mom gave to John and Rosie. They saw an opportunity to share a piece of faith in the everyday ordinary and instead of shying away, they chose to bring God into the kids’ lives. Mine as well.