Book Review: Couples Advent Devotional

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The season of Advent is my favorite liturgical season. I love the mood, the tempo, the music and the insistence on slowing down while the world is telling us to speed up. Each Advent, I look forward to experiencing unique reflections and powerful homilies that will inspire me for the new liturgical year. And, as a military spouse, I am always on the lookout for ways my husband and I can connect, emotionally and spiritually, when he is away from home. I was so excited to discover Patricia Mackie’s Couples Advent Devotional.

51lhgURt8FL._SX331_BO1,204,203,200_Patricia has crafted a devotional for couples that is specific for our new liturgical year. Each day you are invited to read and reflect on the daily Gospel. Then, there is a brief reflection, followed by 2-3 reflection questions that also serve as discussion starters for you and your spouse. This devotional is intended to be prayed aloud, together.

The reflection questions are really where Patricia shines. She goes right to the heart of marriage, pulling out topics like communication, needs and desires, stress, forgiveness, support and compassion, prayer, and so many more. She also weaves into the devotional a number of traditional Catholic prayers, including the Our Father, Hail Mary, Mary, Undoer of Knots, the Prayer of St. Francis, the Act of Contrition, and a number of others. Each prayer was clearly specifically chosen and it’s placement reinforces the theme being discussed.

I think that one of my favorite things about this devotional is that when prayed to its fullest,  it is a dynamic experience. First and foremost, Patricia challenges the couples to pray every single day together. Every day! For 4 whole weeks! For many couples, especially those with children, it is struggle to find time to pray with this kind of intentionality every day. Having a resource like Couples Advent Devotional would help couples prioritize their time together and hopefully deepen their spiritual bond. Also, because the reflections are brief, couples will spend the majority of their prayer time together talking to one another, perhaps discussing things they have never discussed before. Second, Patricia encourages couples from the very beginning to stretch themselves beyond the four walls of their own home. In the first week alone, coupes are asked to receive the sacrament of Reconciliation and to discern some type of service experience their family can participate in during the season. Third, because the devotional is based on this specific liturgical year, couples will be able to connect what they are hearing at Mass with what they are discussing in their home.

I am very excited for Advent to begin this year. Couples that are looking for a way to connect daily on a deeper level and nurture their marriage need look no further. I highly recommend Patricia Mackie’s devotional and I hope that she continues the project for subsequent liturgical years.

Grace in Sacrifice

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As a parent, there are a lot of opportunities to practice the art of sacrifice. The ability to make sacrifices occupies an interesting place in our society, as I see it at least. On one hand, we highly value sacrifice. Think of a person’s quest to lose weight, get in shape, train for a particular event, or prepare for a significant moment in life. We sacrifice time, pleasure and comfort for the sake of our goals. It is important to notice that all of these sacrifices are for our own purposes, our own desires.

Now see the other side of the coin. There are sacrifices not quite so highly valued, and are usually even harder to make. These sacrifices are the ones we make not for our own desires or our own good, but for the good of others. Parenthood is full of these kinds of unglamorous sacrifices. Getting up in the middle of the night because the baby is crying, listening to the same music over and over again at the request of your 3 year old, and today specifically, giving up free NFL football tickets because John is recovering from croup.

american-football-220047_640A unique opportunity came to Ben’s squadron and he is going to be able to be on the field, calling in and coordinating the fly-over for the national anthem. So cool. Roof access, great seats and field access for the fly-over. Incredible. Plus, free tickets for the guys on the field and the families of those actually flying the plane. And free parking. It’s so generous and it would be such a memorable experience for our family. And, I really, really, really wanted to go – it’s not even my team playing but still, come on. It was too good to pass up.

But John was sick. He was up at night coughing, ended up with croup, had to go to the doctor, the whole nine yards. Saturday he was starting to feel better, but definitely still wasn’t himself. Not well enough to go to church that evening, which we needed to do in order to make the Sunday game on time. My decision was made for me. The kids and I had to stay home. There was no other option.

Yet I tried to justify a way where we could go. He’s not so bad, he’s getting better. I’m sure he will be fine tomorrow. But it’s all false. All the mother in me knew what to do and what I need to do for the wellbeing of my child. And still the rest of me rebelled, trying to find a way to satisfy my desire to go to the game.

Into this dilemma, enter a reflection I read on baptismal promises. I am presently in the midst of retreat-like experience through an online group and the link above was for my reading for the day. It challenges us to consider the promises we made (or were made in our name if we were infants) and reflect on how we live them out in our day to day life. After spending some time with this reading, I posted this in our group discussion:

The baptismal promises are, for me, all about trust and the submission of ourselves to God and His will. So, by keeping humility in the forefront, modeling after Mary, I will be doing a greater job of living my baptismal promises.

Basically, the way I understand the challenge to live my baptismal promises is to cultivate a spirit of humility, which will lead me to better trust God and submit myself to His will. Which leads me back to my dilemma, which deep down I knew wasn’t truly a dilemma. I told Ben we weren’t going and that he should give the tickets away to other members of the squadron. That should be the end of my story. Though I made the right decision, my heart wasn’t in it. I had performed the right motions, but with the wrong attitude.

As the day went on, I recognized my inadequacy and slowly, let go of my disappointment, conforming my heart to match my actions.

One thing that this day highlighted is that God’s graces in our lives aren’t always found in smiling faces, in helpful friends or in loving moments. Sometimes, it’s found in disappointment, in frustration and in sacrifices. Regardless of where we find the grace, it is there to help us become more like Christ, both in action and in attitude.

Following the Rules

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Every household has rules, be they written or unwritten. Some families have specific times for meals. Others don’t allow jumping on couches. Some are specific about the type of language they permit in their home while others choose to keep a specific night a week for family time, free from practices and commitments.

Our family, like others, has rules. As our children grow, the rules change and evolve. One of our more recent rules regards our dinner conversation. Part of the bedtime routine for John and Rosie is getting to watch a little TV before reading books, brushing teeth, etc. This is the only TV they watch during the day, so deciding what to watch is an important topic. Often, it will be all they want to talk about and debate. Lately, we have had to ask them to stop talking about what they are going to watch while we all eat dinner.

Yesterday, we went to the library and Ben picked out a few new movies for he and I. While eating dinner, we started talking about what we would watch after the kids went to bed. Rosie, our sweet, observant 3 year old, says: “Daddy, we don’t talk about TV at dinner time. It’s not time to talk about that. You have to wait until later.” I swear I’m not exaggerating or adding in extra words. She repeated verbatim what we have been saying to her, holding us accountable to our own rule.

Has this ever happened to you? Your child reminds you of your own rules. She looks straight into your eyes and questions if you are bound to your rule, or if you are the exception.

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