Pace – Twenty-sixth Sunday in Ordinary Time

Matthew 21:28-32

This Gospel is about doing what you say you will do. It’s about taking stock in whether you mean what you say – does your “yes” mean yes and your “no” mean no. This can be in regard to our relationship with God, with others, and even with ourselves. Often, for myself at least, I might say I want to do something, but when it comes down to it I find excuses not to make the effort. This happens especially with changes that are meant to grow and stretch me, moving out of relative comfort and into a new space.

The YouTube channel attached to this blog was a pretty big change for me, and the habit of writing weekly which followed was both surprising and challenging. Some weeks, I’m so happy this new shift has happened. Others, I feel like I’m scraping the bottom of the creative barrel, trying to find connections between the Gospel and life. The Holy Spirit continues inspiring me, and I am learning each week to lean more fully on His inspiration.

To be honest, that’s what this post is, the bottom of the creative barrel. I have been thinking more and more about what I want to write for the Advent journal (if you are new, each year I write a free journal which you can download and print. The previous years are found here). This is taking up a lot of creative brain space. I’m also feeling nervous because I haven’t actually started yet, and Advent is quickly approaching. I need to get to work, but I’m nervous to start. What if I don’t have enough material? Enough inspiration?

I hope you are catching the irony here – in one paragraph I tell you how I am more fully relying on the Holy Spirit for these reflections. In the next, I’m back to trying to rely on myself and my own sources of inspiration.

I am so thankful, again and again, for Bible study and for the women God continues blessing me with. This week, one of them asked for the grace to go, “at the pace of the Holy Spirit.” I loved this image. If we keep pace with the Holy Spirit, we won’t be looking back at what was, and we won’t be sprinting ahead trying to see around the bend a little sooner. We will be living in the present moment, focusing on what God wants us to focus on.

What does this mean for me? It means I need to get working on Advent, because that’s where the Holy Spirit is focusing my attention. It also means laying some crafting and TV time aside to prioritize my writing time during this period.

To bring it full circle, if we are keeping pace with the Holy Spirit, then what we say, “Yes” to will be what God desires, and we will accomplish it joyfully. Even in hard things, we will discover an inner peace because we will be doing God’s Will. When we say, “No” to what God wants, our pacing will be off. We will stumble, struggle, and miss the mark. Thankfully, most thankfully, the Holy Spirit never gets too far ahead or behind. We always have the opportunity open to us to refine our steps to rejoin Him and His pace.

I have 2 ideas for refining our steps, both of which I am actively putting into practice this week so I don’t have a lot of data for you at the moment.

  1. Habit stacking. I struggle with plantar fasciitis. I am supposed to be stretching throughout the day, but often don’t. I regret it, complain about it, but haven’t done a whole lot about it. I am supposed to be taking care of my body as it is made in God’s image, St. Paul reminds us that we are temples where God dwells. I need to change my attitude and find the time to stretch. It occurred to me this week that my powered toothbrush runs for 2 minutes, with 4 – 30 second intervals. I already brush my teeth, no brainer. Now, I am stretching during that time. I am stacking my habits.
  2. Journaling. With all the writing I do, and in talking with other writers, I continue to be drawn to journaling. But it just feels like more work, rather than a source of intellectual and spiritual nourishment. I recently was told about a notebook model which I’m going to try once it arrives in the mail. Each page is one day of the year, with 5 sections, one for each of the 5 years. The intent is to write down one line, one quote, one thought, every day. If you’ve been following the YouTube videos you will know I’ve been praying Morning and Night prayer consistently since May. Lately, a line or two have been standing out to me, and I’ve wanted to remember them without knowing how I would accomplish that. Welcome this new journal idea to that desire and now I have a way. My plan (again, brand new ideas I’m sharing here), is to write down one quote or verse from Morning Prayer every day. It will take minimal time, but will begin to build a habit of writing something down every single day. I’ll keep you posted about how it goes.

As I said, this wasn’t the most organized of posts. I am seriously considering taking a break from weekly reflections until I finish (and by finish, I mean both start and then finish) the Advent devotional. I will post a notice if that becomes the case. Thank you for sticking with me this far.

Daily Graces. kktaliaferro.wordpress.com

Habits – Twenty-fourth Sunday in Ordinary Time

On this week’s video, I talk about how Jesus is teaching His disciples that forgiveness is more than an action, it is a habit. If you were to do something 77 times, you would be well on your way to forming a habit. Jesus’ use of the the double 7 in 77 is symbolic as well as practical. 7 is a perfect number in the biblical sense (think the 7 days of creation) and the repetitive use here can indicate a certain abundance of the ideal. The commentary given by the USCCB website offers this beautiful phase, “limitless forgiveness.” What a world we could create if we each had a habit of limitless forgiveness.

In raising my children and getting to know each of them as unique individuals, I’ve come to discover that everyone comes into their habits differently. What works for one kid doesn’t always work for another. I have always known our oldest tends to learn one thing at a time well. He was like that even as a baby, I may have even shared this here before so excuse the repetitive story. It felt like it took John forever to walk, he actually didn’t let go of furniture until after his sister was born. He got everywhere he wanted to go by holding hands, cruising along the couches and chairs, or by pushing a laundry basket. But, once he decided he was ready to let go, he could run across the room without falling. The same story goes for talking. Hardly any words and then full sentences in a matter of weeks.

John is 12 now and we are working on building good habits that he can carry into adulthood. There are so many things I would like to teach him, to help him understand that life would be so much easier if just remembered his chores instead of me pestering him about them. There are even a few habits I thought we had down already, only to discover this new pre-teen lackadaisical attitude toward things like brushed teeth and listening skills really need to be recalled ASAP. I’m sure I’m not the only parent with these kinds of feelings.

As I think back on how John has grown, it should not be surprising to me that when I try to force a number of new habits on him at once, it isn’t going to go well. However, encouraging him to focus on one thing at a time, here we make some real progress. As his mom, I then have the opportunity to praise him for those efforts in this one specific area and really build him up in his ability to grow and mature while transitioning to the next good habit he needs in order to thrive as a teen and adult. Small success, small steps in the overall direction forward. It is also encouraging him to learn more about himself and how he best learns and grows which will ultimately help him in his relationships throughout life.

Turning the tables, I have been pondering how I best instill a new habit in myself. I’ve come up with a few criteria that need to be in place before a new habit can be formed. Perhaps my list will inspire you as well.

  • Empty space – if I’m trying to squeeze in a new habit, you can bet it’s going to be squeezed right out of my life. I need time and space to dedicate to the new habit.
  • Consistency – if it’s not scheduled, it’s probably not going to happen. A habit doesn’t need to be a daily thing, but each person has some kind of limit for how far between occurrences the practice needs to happen (perhaps there’s science on this out there). If I’m not practicing my new habit at least once weekly, it’s probably not going to stick. Even then, I’ll need to be careful because I’ll forget one week and then by the 4th I’ll recall I had a habit I was trying to cultivate and have since left behind.
  • Has a home or place – In bible study today (hooray, Walking With Purpose is at our new parish!), a participant shared about how if she doesn’t leave her meditation books out by her coffee cup in the evening she will forget to read them with her coffee in the morning. This is so me. Out of sight, out of mind completely describes how habits can get lost, whether on purpose or not.

What about habits like Jesus is talking about, the inner, intangible habits. Things like forgiveness, patience, empathy, silence, joy. These are a harder, as they happen at random, aren’t usually tied to physical objects, and can take any number of minutes or hours to fully process. Here are some suggestions:

  • Pray for the grace to grow in your habit. But be careful, as most older grandmas will tell you, if you pray for patience you will be gifted a whole host of opportunities to practice the virtue.
  • Ask the Holy Spirit to inspire the habit in you during specific situations. We can’t always anticipate when we will need empathy or courage. But, there are definitely situations in your life where you have an inkling ahead of time what type of inner habit you will need. Take the time before embarking into that situation to ask the Holy Spirit to pour His eternal gifts out on you that you need for that specific moment.
  • Keep a gratitude journal. Cultivating a spirit of gratitude is an excellent way to grow in thankfulness. It also encourages you to review your day, which then draws your attention to the times things went well and when they didn’t. This survey of the day or week can highlight the times you practiced one of these inner habits well, or where you need to grow.
Daily Graces. kktaliaferro.wordpress.com

CatholicMom.com August: Making the Most

A few months ago I started doing something new. Well, it’s really something routine done in a new way. I’ve changed how I fold towels. I know, it doesn’t sound all that astronomical, and perhaps in the grand, grand scheme it isn’t. But it has affected positive change worth reflecting on.

It occurred to me, on a rather frustrating day, “Why am I folding towels and putting them away, only to re-fold them so that they fit on the towel racks?” You see, for space saving purposes, I had been folding towels hamburger style: twice, and then in thirds. It was so satisfying to see the stacks looking neat and tidy on the shelf. But, in order for them to hang on our towel racks, they had to be completely unfolded and then re-folded in half, hot-dog style. On this day, I was trying to juggle the dirty towels in one arm while re-folding the clean towels in the other and attempting not to trip over children. It was a mess!

Finally, the thought came to me that I had a choice in this matter.

Continue reading at Catholicmom.comDaily Graces. kktaliaferro.wordpress.com