Kate – Page 110 – Daily Graces

Extended Family – Extra Grandmas

Published on April 29, 2015 by KateLeave a comment

We are a military family and are stationed far from any family. With the type of work my husband does in the Air Force, it will be difficult for us to ever be stationed by either set of our parents. This is a hard fact of our life. It is something that we chose, each in our own way. Ben was committed to the Air Force before we got married and I knew (as best as I was able at the time) what type of life I was committing myself to.

So far we have been stationed at two bases in the U.S. and are starting to mentally prepare for another move, probably in the next year. Where to, you might ask? Not a clue. But we’ll leave that for another post (think TRUST and PATIENCE – not exactly easy or particularly pleasant most of the time but so necessary for every life, military or not).

As I said, we don’t have any family close by us. Since we don’t have any blood family in reasonable distance, we have had to make a family, an extended family so to speak. A key part of our extended family are our relationships at church. There is one special relationship I’d like to share with you.

There is a woman at our church that loves our family. She is a lector (reader) at Mass and her husband plays guitar for the choir. They are an older couple and have been at the parish as long as we have and probably longer. When Ben is away on a trip or deployed, going to Mass can sometimes feel like I’m climbing a mountain that has no peak. The kids are everywhere, no one is listening, goldfish are being crushed with each step into the carpet and no one in at least a 10 foot circle around us is praying in peace, though they might be praying for some peace and quiet!

We were having one of those Sundays when Miss Judy sat down with us. It was during the homily and I was already exhausted. She joined us in the pew and took John in her lap. John is a super friendly kid and as soon as he saw that he was staying in the pew with us he had no issue hanging out with Judy. John has some great hair – it’s thick and curly and goes everywhere. Judy sat with him and played with his hair, listened to his stories, helped him keep relatively quiet, gave him his snack, everything. For that half hour she could have been his grandma.

Judy has helped me a number of times since this first instance. She knows all the kids and they love to see her. When we get to Mass they ask me, “Mommy, is Miss Judy reading today?” or “Mommy, where is Miss Judy sitting? Can we talk to her?” It is so sweet. She gets right down to their level and gives them all the love and attention that they want.

I feel so blessed that she is a part of our life. And Judy isn’t the only person like this in our lives. I have had a number of parishioners help me chase kids, do bathroom runs, walk to communion, and hold hands in the parking lot. Our family has been enveloped my our community in such a loving embrace. Each time someone holds open the door or helps one of my little ones put on their coat I feel God’s presence with us.

Sundays when Ben is gone are difficult. In some ways I dread the day, knowing what a challenge Mass will potentially be. But at the time time, every Sunday is an opportunity for me to humble myself and accept the help and support my community wants to offer me. This community is family. They have seen us at our worst and our best and still they come to check up on us, help us and love us.

Salt Cravings

Published on April 25, 2015April 25, 2015 by KateLeave a comment

Do you ever have one of those days where you need salt. Everything salty sounds delicious and you find yourself fantasizing about french fries, potato chips, pretzels, or anything with enough salty goodness to satisfy the craving. And no, this doesn’t just happen when I’m pregnant. I’m sure you’ve all had at least one day like this. Our bodies need salt. It is one of the components necessary to help water move through our systems. Our bodies do not function properly when we do not have enough salt.

Everything in life needs a little salt. Have you ever noticed on pretty much any cooking show that has a judge, someone is always critiqued for not using enough salt. Just the other day I heard a judge say “If you had just put a few more grains of salt, then the flavors would have really popped.” Even desserts need to have some salt.

There was one time, I was in high school, that I was making a new cookie recipe. I believed that the recipe, in my fairly inexperienced baking hands, called for too much salt. These were supposed to be sweet cookies after all. So I left the salt out. I think that we all know how those cookies tasted. Lifeless.

It is interesting, Jesus told his followers to be the salt of the earth (Matthew 5:13). He didn’t say to be the yeast, to be the flour, or to be the water – all other fundamental ingredients. What makes salt different is it’s ability to add flavor. Flour, yeast and water are all basic components to make bread. You don’t technically need salt to make bread, but I wouldn’t recommend it unless you like to eat cardboard. Maybe you do.

I definitely don’t like cardboard. I like flavor in my food and my life. I like to think that Jesus did too. After all, he did hang out with some pretty “flavorful” people for the time (tax collectors, women, non-Jews, lepers, to name a few) and he certainly spiced up the lives of his followers. Jesus asks us to do the same. We are supposed to spice things up. How? By being fully alive.

To be fully alive, we have to know who we are. We are children of the most high God, the author of all creation. We cannot be fully alive without recognizing that we are not the source of our existence. How can a building stand when it’s foundation is cracked? The basis of our “saltiness” comes from this primary fact of our being.

If you are ever feeling like you are losing touch with your “saltiness” (aka your ability to connect with Jesus and therefore your ability to see the world as he would want you), take some time to think about your encounters with Jesus. Pope Francis just said ““He never forgers, but we forget the encounter with Christ. And this would be a good assignment to do at home, to consider: ‘When have I really felt that the Lord was close to me? When have I felt the need to change my life, or to become better, or to forgive someone? When have I felt the Lord asking something of me? When have I encountered the Lord?’ Because our faith is an encounter with Jesus. This is the foundation of our faith: I have encountered Jesus.” (see more at http://www.news.va/en/news/pope-francis-our-faith-is-an-encounter-with-jesus)

The Trouble with Cleaning

Published on April 20, 2015April 19, 2015 by KateLeave a comment

There is a problem when you clean something. Before you cleaned the something in question – a window, a sink, a counter, a toilet, a dresser, take your pick – it was dirty. For many things in my house, once it is dirty you can’t tell to what extent it is dirty.

If the dresser is dusty, it’s new status is simply “dusty.” I can’t tell from yesterday to today how many more particles of dust have accumulated. It is just dusty. Same for the windows. With 3 kids and a dog, finger prints and smudges are a given for all of my window under 4 feet tall. With such a large general collection of “window art” shall we call it, I cannot tell from day to day which smudge is new or when exactly the green crayon appeared. Let’s not even talk about the stainless steel faucets in our bathrooms. Actually, let’s just avoid the bathroom entirely.

So you see, there is a problem with cleaning these dirty things that can stay dirty for any number of days without causing stress or tension because it is impossible to tell (or I willingly ignore) the level of dirty/dusty/smudged/smeared/covered in peanut butter and purple crayon.

A recently dirty window that leads to our backyard

But, of course, you have to clean it. The dresser must be dusted, the windows washed, the faucets cleaned and even the bathrooms, scary as they can be with a 3 year old boy who “stands like Daddy” and little girl in training. It is a wonderful feeling when my home is clean. How marvelous to be able to see out of the windows and to not have to cringe as I wash my hands. With environmental allergies, it is so refreshing to take a deep breath and not sneeze. How nice it is to walk around and not crunch cheerios, puffs, dog food or find Little Mermaid stickers stuck to the bottoms of my shoes.

The was clean but now is dirty again (probably) and needs to be cleaned again to get back to this state only to get dirty again etc etc etc

Alas, the picture I just described only lasts for roughly 15 seconds on a rotating timetable. Just as I finish the windows and move onto the floor, Max, our excitable and self-proclaimed guard dog jumps up and smashes his nose on the window intent on saving the family from the jogger 100 yards up the street. As soon as I’m done sweeping the floor (actually, usually while I’m still sweeping in another area, sometimes only 2 feet away) someone drops something that will make a delightfully messy “crunch” in a matter of minutes. I’ll not trouble you with a description of what happens in the bathrooms, I think you can figure that one out for yourself.

It is a never ending cycle and hardly rewarding since I know that as soon as something is clean it will just be dirty all over again, usually in a matter of minutes. It would be much easier to just leave things dirty, which we all know is not healthy.

It’s also not healthy to neglect our spiritual life. Think about it like this. Your house is your life. The windows represent your spirituality. The cleaner your windows, the more light that can come into your house (the light being God, His grace, mercy, love, guidance, etc.) You can see what areas of your house need refurbishing, what areas are looking good, what areas need to be cleaned and where the dark corners are that require attention. But, when your windows are dirty, it is harder to see the areas of your house that are dirty, dusty, smudged or in need of repair. It is also harder to see those areas that are looking good, that you would want to be proud of and share with others.

Another window analogy, this one is from Fr. Robert Barron. Think about your car windshield. When is dark and you are driving away from a light source, your windshield looks pretty good. You don’t see that bug smudge from the other day or the rain splatter from the morning’s shower. But, when you turn and are driving toward the light, you can see in great detail just how many nicks, dings, smears and dirt spots are all over your windshield. When we are pointing away from God, it is easier to ignore our flaws, our insecurities, our dark corners. When we turn toward God, it is easier to address these areas because we can honestly see them. We also can see how they are obscuring our vision and once we clean them up, we can see even better than before.

The trouble with cleaning is now everything is clean! When everything is clean, you know exactly when it has gotten dirty again. But, maybe that’s not such a bad thing.