Parenting/Kids – Page 25

A Better View

Published on August 15, 2015August 15, 2015 by Kate1 Comment

Another lag in posting has occurred. I try not to put up too much information about Ben and his travels, for a number of reasons. The biggest one being the instantaneous nature of the internet and how quickly it can compromise not only his safety, but those who he works with as well as our own. Ben recently returned home from a deployment and we have been spending some much needed quality family time together, hence the unannounced break.

Image from: http://disney.wikia.com/wiki/Sofia_the_First_(character)

I’ve been keeping a list on my phone of inspirations for blog posts and this one comes from that list. A while back, John and Rosie were super into the DisneyJr. show, Sofia the First. Basically, Sofia’s mother marries the king and they go from villagers to royalty. The whole show is Sofia learning what it means to be a princess, making mistakes, and shaking up the accepted norms of princess behavior.

Not all of the episodes are profound, but some have some pretty decent lessons for young children. One such episode was about putting others before yourself and having an optimistic attitude. The castle butler, Baileywick, is celebrating his birthday and the king and queen decide to give him the day off. His brother comes to town and plans out an elaborate day. However, everyone is used to Baileywick helping them whenever they ask, regardless of his current activities. So, when he tries to leave for his birthday activities, he is continually stopped by the castle children to assist with butterfly catching and tea party color coordination, among other things.

Now, I imagine most of us would get quite fed up with this lack of respect and selfishness of the children. They all know that it is Baileywick’s day off, but they insist that he help them first. Baileywick’s brother actually tries to leave, frustrated that his whole day was spent waiting for Baileywick to finish helping, only to miss the planned activity altogether.

Rather than give into frustration, Baileywick chooses to remain positive. Each time they miss an activity, Baileywick just points to the next one, confident that he and his brother will still be able to spend some time together. His brother is in awe that Baileywick always manages to look on the bright side of things. I actually wrote down Baileywick’s response, it’s that good.

“That’s because there’s always a better view there.”

Such a simple philosophy, but what a great way to think about things. It’s basic optimism, but with a strong visual image to go with it. Studies have shown what an incredible benefit it is to have an optimistic outlook (check out this article if you are interested).

As I’m writing more and reflecting more, I’m finding some recurring themes. One of them is the development of habits. It is easier to make good choices if you have a habit of making good choices. It is easier to be disciplined in a certain area if you have developed the habit of discipline in others. I believe the same goes for optimism.

Baileywick not only teaches the benefits of a habit of optimism but also a habit of self-sacrifice and service to others.

“Mommy, Jesus saw a seal! I’ve seen a seal too!”

Published on August 4, 2015August 2, 2015 by KateLeave a comment

Raise your hand if remember the incredibly hysterical and spot on book series, Amelia Bedelia. I loved them growing up. I recall one where Amelia went to a school and was told to plant the bulbs with the children, meaning tulip bulbs. Amelia, in true form, has the children unscrew all the light bulbs to plant instead.

We have similar experiences in our house. Small children are so literal, it trips me up some times. One day, I asked Rosie if she wanted some plain crackers. Now, you have to understand that from before their birth, my children are wired for airplanes. Their father is, after all, a pilot. They have lived on very high air traffic bases their whole lives. They wake up to the sound of jet engines, spend the day watching a variety of aircraft circle the pattern and fall asleep to night sorties and engine tests.

So, what do you think Rosie heard when I asked her if the wanted plain crackers? Plane crackers. As in, airplane shaped crackers. Oh the drama, oh the tragedy and hysterics that ensued from John and Rosie after that misstep. Needless to say, when I ask if they want regular ol’ crackers we call them “simple” crackers. It was easier to explain. Once they start reading we will re-visit the topic, hopefully with less meltdowns.

Another such moment happened at Mass this week. In the Gospel reading Jesus said:

Do not work for food that perishes
but for the food that endures for eternal life,
which the Son of Man will give you.
For on him the Father, God, has set his seal (John 6:27)

After reading that (and the title of this post, hint hint), you may be able to guess which work caught John’s attention. Yes, seal. Obviously seals of all kinds inhabit the sea near Capernaum. It was pretty funny and required some quick whispered explanations. John still isn’t quite sure what kind of seal Jesus saw, but we did clarify that it wasn’t the seals from the zoo.

John’s literal understanding of words at this stage reminded me of my post about having faith like a child. It also got me thinking about literal versus figurative language. Since we were at Mass, this particular thought train brought me to the Eucharistic prayer.

In the three Synoptic Gospels (Matthew, Mark and Luke – called synoptic because they are all similar and based on similar sources, sometimes even the same source – see more here) we hear Jesus say exactly and specifically, “This is my body.” and “This is my blood.” If we are to have faith, and perhaps ears, like a child, then Jesus’ meaning can not be mistaken. Jesus told his disciples that the bread and wine truly became his body and blood, the food and drink of the new covenant. In the Gospel of John (where our Gospel readings from last week and this week came from), Jesus tells his followers in a series of talks that unless they eat the flesh of the Son of Man, they will not enter the Kingdom of Heaven (John 6). Jesus is very specific, even clarifying and re-stating this teaching when queried about it.

The mystery of the Eucharist is a tough mystery to grapple with. How can bead and wine change? How can we be expected to eat flesh and drink blood? The first important thing to remember is that it is a mystery. We will never fully understand the incredible grace we are participating in each liturgy. Second, we have multiple Scripture accounts of the same words of Jesus. This was a community where oral tradition, the stories told, were where records were preserved. Very little was written down and the Gospels were not written as a play-by-play of Jesus’ life. Our earliest Gospel (Mark) was probably written at the earliest, 50 C.E. That’s a full 20-25 years after Jesus’ death. 20 years is a long time for an oral story to change (remember the game “Telephone” from when you were a kid?). But we have the same words of Jesus, written by 3 different authors in 3 different places, plus the extended theology of John. Pretty convincing stuff. Finally, our understanding has not changed over the course of the whole Church. The Eucharist we celebrate today was celebrated by the earliest Christians. We see it in the writings of St. Paul. We also see it in the writings of St. Justin Martyr, a Christian living in Rome and writing around 150 C.E. If you don’t click on any other links in this post, click on this one. Justin writes about what the liturgy looked like in Rome roughly 55 years after the latest written book in the Bible. The consistency with the liturgy we just celebrated this weekend is, for me, beyond words. The liturgy we celebrate today is firmly founded in the traditions and teachings of the apostles. If they took Jesus literally, I think it’s a good bet we should too.

Faith Like a Child…..or at least like my children

Published on July 27, 2015 by Kate1 Comment

In Matthew 18, Jesus brings a child before his disciples and tells them that if they don’t start acting like children, they won’t get into the kingdom of heaven. Ok, so that’s a bit of a paraphrase. (Here it is for real). Now I don’t know about your kids, but if you acted like mine all the time, I’m not so sure you would get into heaven. Don’t get me wrong, I love them to the moon and back, but angels they are not.

Fortunately, Jesus wasn’t telling his disciples that they should be self-centered, whiny, nose-picking, diaper-filling children. Jesus was pointing to other things which I can see in my own kids.

Children are full of trust. They rely completely on their parents and adults around them to fulfill all of their needs. Think about a baby. Clare at 10 months old cannot communicate what she needs. She trusts that I will figure it out every time and take care of her.
Children have no worries or cares for tomorrow, or yesterday. They live completely in the moment, focused on the here and now. They don’t trouble themselves with what went right or wrong yesterday and they harbor no fears about what may or may not happen tomorrow.
Children have an incredible capacity for wonder and awe. We will go for a walk and Rosie will stop and smell a flower as if it was the first flower she had ever seen (and she will tell you, every time, “Look Mommy, Look! The most beautiful flower I’ve ever seen, I’ve never seen one before!”).
Children are always learning something. They seek greater knowledge every day. Sometimes it seems like they need to learn more than they need to breathe. Side story: There are pros and cons here for the parents. Pros – your child is learning to walk, talk, write, read, etc. Great! Cons: When your 4yr old and 2yr old learn that when the baby cries it means that mom had to put her down because she is coming back into their room to tell them to go to bed for the 10th time so they scurry back in bed before she gets in the room to act like they weren’t just jumping on the bed – great cause and effect learning, frustration for the mother.
Children don’t need complicated answers, at least the little ones don’t. As children get older, the wonderful question “But why?” comes into play. This ties back into the constantly learning piece.
Children don’t care what others are thinking. If they are moved to dance, they dance. If they are moved to cry, they cry. They aren’t concerned about putting on a show or a mask for appearances’ sake. (see my last post about that).

Trust, contentment, wonder, a quest for knowledge, simplicity – these are some of the qualities that I see in my children which inspire my faith every day.