A Place to Commune – The Dining Room

In the kitchen we prepare the food. We sometimes, if we are lucky, get a little taste test. But the full meal isn’t experienced until we transition to the dining room, or primary eating area. I know not all homes have an official “dining room.” For the sake of this reflection, hold in your mind your main eating area, that table where your family typically eats its meals.

Eating together is an ancient practice. Every culture has its own traditions, rituals and procedures for shared eating. Eating, especially eating with others, serves multiple purposes. First, the obvious, you’re eating to stay alive. The human body can impressively go about 3 weeks without food, but only 3 days without water. We need both food and drink to live full, healthy lives.

Eating together has other purposes as well. Eating together places everyone at the same level – you are at a common table. In many cultures and throughout much of history, you were eating out of shared vessels as well. We are sharing the fruits of our labor, our harvest (or our grocery trip). We have conversations with one another. We find out about our day, our plans, our hurts and our joys. While the ideal family meal of everyone smiling, sharing appropriately, using their utensils with competency and napkins on every lap might sound out of reach for your family, no matter how messy the meal memories are being made. We are teaching our children, and reminding ourselves, that we are on a journey together through life. We come together at table to share with one another.

There is, of course, another table which we come around as a community. We come to the altar, the table of the Lord. We gather here to be fed in a supernatural way. When we receive the Body and Blood of Jesus, we believe that we are receiving true food and drink which will sustain us, body and soul. Jesus’ gift of Himself remains unchanged. As Catholics, we believe the the Eucharist is the True Presence of Christ. Each time we receive Jesus, we open our lives to Him, to be transformed by Him, from the inside out. As a community we come to become one in the Body of Christ.

This week, take a look at your eating space. Ask yourself, “What kind of eating experience have we been having lately? I am I happy with it? How can we model our gathering at table to be more reminiscent of the Eucharistic table?”

Consider spending extra time and effort this week in your eating area by tackling any of the following projects:

  • Washing table and chairs
  • Laundering cushions
  • Oiling any hardwood areas
  • Moving table and cleaning rug/moping whole area, not just around the table
  • Dusting and cleaning any wall hangings or pictures
  • Using china or fancy dishes for one meal, not to celebrate a special occasion, but to celebrate your family
  • Cook as a family and then eat as a family – no one is left out from the preparation
  • See if you can identify one or two meals as unique to your family, what are your favorites? What do your children think they will cook when they are adults?

Thinking about your spiritual “eating area,” consider the following:

Next week, we will move into our main living spaces. We have been fed at table, now we go to engage more deeply in the relationships that were strengthened there.

Daily Graces. kktaliaferro.wordpress.com

Bewitch the Mind and Ensnare the Senses

We read chapter books aloud as a family before bed. This has been part of our bedtime routine for a few years now. We’ve read things like Winnie the Pooh, The Secret Garden, Howl’s Moving Castle, My Father’s Dragon, and now, much to my delight, we’ve commenced on the epic adventure of Harry Potter. We just introduced Severus Snape (so of course I had to show them the video Puppet Pals and now my house is filled with people chanting, “Ron, Ron, Ron Weeeeeasley!”). Snape’s opening lecture is so good. His language is so vivid. I almost pulled out the YouTube clip of Alan Rickman’s performance to show them, it’s spot on.

“I can teach you to bewitch the mind and ensnare the senses. I can tell you how to bottle fame, brew glory and even put a stopper on death.”

Severus Snape, Sorcerer’s Stone

While we don’t live in the world of Harry Potter, our senses can be bewitched and ensnared even without potions or potions masters. This happened to me at the start of quarantine.

I had gone out to our workshop where we have an old spare refrigerator. I keep extra milk out there, thaw meat, etc. I went to get the last gallon of milk, promising myself that as soon as I got back inside I would hit submit on the grocery order. On the way inside I noticed the date on the milk.

Sell by: 2 days ago.

Ugh!! No!! I couldn’t believe it. How could I have let that happen? Now we had no milk and in our town, the grocery pick ups at that time were days of waiting before your scheduled time.

Maybe it isn’t too bad, I told myself. Let’s see if it passes the sniff test. Maybe we can squeak a day or two out of this before it has to go. Once inside, I opened it up and hesitantly smelled. Bad.

One last hope. The taste test. I was highly doubtful, but it was a whole gallon of milk. I couldn’t dump it without exhausting all my options. So I poured the smallest glass and with a grimace, took a sip.

Shocked face, it was FINE! I couldn’t believe it. My eyes said it was past due, which informed my nose it was clearly done for. I’m so happy I tried one more sense before giving up.

This made me think of the Eucharist. Here we have simple bread and wine. Our eyes tell us it’s normal bread, our nose smells the aroma of wine. Even here our taste confirms what our eyes, nose and touch tell us. But wait, there’s one more sense. What do we hear? We hear Jesus’ words:

This is my Body, which will be given for you, do this in memory of me.

This cup is the new covenant in my Blood, which will be shed for you.

Luke 22:19-20

Our eyes are deceived. Our taste, touch and smell leave us wanting. Our ears hear the truth and our soul responds. The incredible gift of the Jesus in this Sacrament of Sacraments is beyond our physical senses.

As things slowly begin to open back up we will be privileged to once again receive this miracle. I hope and pray we enter even more deeply into the mystery of the Eucharist. It is both the source and summit of our Catholic faith. St. Thomas Aquinas wrote a prayer about the mystery of the Eucharist which we still sing today. Below are the words to his famous Adoro te devote which speak so much more eloquently than I ever could about Jesus’ true presence in the Eucharist.


1. Godhead here in hiding, whom I do adore,
Masked by these bare shadows, shape and nothing more,
See, Lord, at thy service low lies here a heart
Lost, all lost in wonder at the God thou art.

2. Seeing, touching, tasting are in thee deceived:
How says trusty hearing? that shall be believed;
What God’s Son has told me, take for truth I do;
Truth himself speaks truly or there’s nothing true.

3. On the cross thy godhead made no sign to men,
Here thy very manhood steals from human ken:
Both are my confession, both are my belief,
And I pray the prayer of the dying thief.

4. I am not like Thomas, wounds I cannot see,
But can plainly call thee Lord and God as he;
Let me to a deeper faith daily nearer move,
Daily make me harder hope and dearer love.

5. O thou our reminder of Christ crucified,
Living Bread, the life of us for whom he died,
Lend this life to me then: feed and feast my mind,
There be thou the sweetness man was meant to find.

6. Bring the tender tale true of the Pelican;
Bathe me, Jesu Lord, in what thy bosom ran—
Blood whereof a single drop has power to win
All the world forgiveness of its world of sin.

7. Jesu, whom I look at shrouded here below,
I beseech thee send me what I thirst for so,
Some day to gaze on thee face to face in light
And be blest for ever with thy glory’s sight.
Amen.

Gratitude

Happy Thanksgiving to each and every one of you!

It is Thanksgiving morning and my pies are all made and cookies are decorated (I was the dessert lady this year). We just got back from Mass and are watching some of the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade, a tradition from Ben’s family’s Thanksgiving mornings that we are carrying on with our kids. They are loving dancing to all the music and seeing the incredible performers. Rosie is especially excited for Santa’s announcement that comes at the end.

Before heading to church I realized I never even drafted a blog post for today and I wondered if I would have a chance to write something. I also had to pause to try and put into words all of the many things I am thankful for this year.

We have so much to be thankful for. 3 beautiful children, a 4th growing well as we anxiously await their birth. We not only have a home that fits our family during our transition, we are in the process of buying a home in Del Rio, where we will be moving early next year. We are surrounded by family without needing to travel, something that Ben and I have not had in our 6 years of marriage. We are healthy, our children are thriving, Ben has a job that provides for our needs. There is much to be thankful for.

I am especially thankful for our Catholic faith and the continuity it gives us as we move from place to place. The familiarity of the liturgical rhythms  offer our kids a sense of security and hominess beyond anything we could provide. Today at Mass I was able to see this in full force with John and it really hit me just how grateful I am for this faith community.

John had a good first half of Mass, but started to get upset when he had to share some of the things he brought into church. His new thing is to be “grouchy” and put on a sour face. This was, of course, during the consecration. As we waited for communion to start, John was at the end of the pew. I told him he had the opportunity to “make a change” (our key phrase for the kids to let them know they need to turn their attitude around or consequences will ensue). Since he was on the end, he could have the job of leading our family to communion, leading our family to Jesus. He stood up a little straighter and said “I can do that Mommy.”

We waited for the pew in front of us to empty and then John led us. He made sure Clare stayed behind him and didn’t run into anyone. He did a good job. When we got back I told him that he did well. He was beaming and said to me,

Mommy, I made a change during communion! I’m not grouchy anymore!

Be still my heart! Isn’t this exactly what the gift of communion, of Jesus’ very Body and Blood, is supposed to do to each of us? What an incredible gift Jesus has given us. Eucharist is food for our journey of life. But it is also a powerful, the most powerful, agent of change in our lives. When we receive Christ, we are more intimately brought into communion, union, with Christ and with each other. We change.

There are a great many things to be thankful for. Eucharist even means thanksgiving! I am so thankful that I didn’t have anything written for today so that I could share this beautiful experience of joy, transformation and gratitude with you.

Happy Thanksgiving from all of us!

thanksgivingDaily Graces. kktaliaferro.wordpress.com