Snail Mail

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If you’re anything like me, you love snail mail. I don’t necessarily mean the sending part (sorry Dad, your birthday card is coming, I promise!) I’m not very good at the writing and sending part. Thank you notes are a necessary evil and always require a glass of wine, sometimes two. I am a horrible pen pal and always send “happy belated birthday” cards (again, sorry Dad!)

But, I love to be on the receiving end of snail mail. There is nothing better than walking up to your front door and seeing that package waiting. I wonder who sent it? What could be inside? Excitement grows as you pick it up and give it a little shake, which admit it, you still do even as an adult. You check the return label and your excitement either grows or diminishes, depending on the sender. Is it the new group set for your bike that you have been anxiously waiting for from England (Ben’s current anticipated package)? Is it the dress you found and have been crossing your fingers actually fits since shopping online doesn’t let you try anything on? Or, even better, is it a surprise, something you didn’t order but that some other person has lovingly sent you?

Yes, there’s nothing better than that special note in the mailbox or package by your front steps, especially when it isn’t something you ordered yourself. Someone was thinking about you. They were aware of your presence in their life. Even more incredibly, they cared enough to write you a card, buy you a gift, return something you forgot, etc. and send it to you.

There is something extremely gratifying about receiving mail. Some little corner of our heart is satisfied when we open that letter. In the moments before we actually open the letter (since not all letters or packages contain good news), our day is a little brighter and our feelings of self-worth and importance burn a little stronger. These letters and packages are capable of eliciting extraordinary responses in us, even for a few seconds.

Now here comes the question – why? Why can receiving a letter cause such a response? I have a theory, one you may or may not like or resonate with. I believe that we all, for one reason or another, have a hard time grappling with self-worth. It’s an easy enough thing to doubt, especially given the “standards” our culture impresses upon us.

Are you tall enough? Pretty enough? Strong enough? Make enough money? Have your kids in the right sports or music lessons? Attend the right school? Have the right job? Have the right spouse? The right house?

Are you patient enough? Honorable enough? Charismatic? Outgoing? Social? A good listener? Funny? Confident?

You can add your own “necessities” to the list. These unrealistic notions of perfection leave us feeling successful in some areas and woefully ill-equipped and incapable in others. It’s a problem we all have and that we all allow ourselves to have. When we measure our worth based on the world’s standards, we will always come up short.

Thankfully, I do not have to rely on others and how many letters or packages they send me (or that I send to myself) to prop up my feelings of self-worth. As a person, I am made in the image and likeness of God. God unconditionally and eternally loves me. Unconditionally – it doesn’t matter what I do or don’t do, He loves me. Eternally – it doesn’t matter how much time passes or how long I choose to ignore or defy God and His will, He loves me.

There is a song out right now that speaks to this. It’s called “I Don’t Need My name in Lights” by Francesca Battistelli. Here are some of the lyrics:

You saw my heart
And made
Something out of nothing

I don’t need my name in lights
I’m famous in my Father’s eyes
Make no mistake
He knows my name
I’m not living for applause
I’m already so adored
It’s all His stage
He knows my name

The music video is here for the whole song: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jYpBgJHmGmw.

So I guess moral of this little story is that snail mail is fun – embrace it! Maybe even send some snail mail of your own, even if you need a glass of wine or a good TV show to accomplish the task. And finally, know where your self-worth comes from. I can promise you, you won’t find enough in your mailbox to satisfy your heart.

Extended Family – Extra Grandmas

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We are a military family and are stationed far from any family. With the type of work my husband does in the Air Force, it will be difficult for us to ever be stationed by either set of our parents. This is a hard fact of our life. It is something that we chose, each in our own way. Ben was committed to the Air Force before we got married and I knew (as best as I was able at the time) what type of life I was committing myself to.

So far we have been stationed at two bases in the U.S. and are starting to mentally prepare for another move, probably in the next year. Where to, you might ask? Not a clue. But we’ll leave that for another post (think TRUST and PATIENCE – not exactly easy or particularly pleasant most of the time but so necessary for every life, military or not).

As I said, we don’t have any family close by us. Since we don’t have any blood family in reasonable distance, we have had to make a family, an extended family so to speak. A key part of our extended family are our relationships at church. There is one special relationship I’d like to share with you.

There is a woman at our church that loves our family. She is a lector (reader) at Mass and her husband plays guitar for the choir. They are an older couple and have been at the parish as long as we have and probably longer. When Ben is away on a trip or deployed, going to Mass can sometimes feel like I’m climbing a mountain that has no peak. The kids are everywhere, no one is listening, goldfish are being crushed with each step into the carpet and no one in at least a 10 foot circle around us is praying in peace, though they might be praying for some peace and quiet!

We were having one of those Sundays when Miss Judy sat down with us. It was during the homily and I was already exhausted. She joined us in the pew and took John in her lap. John is a super friendly kid and as soon as he saw that he was staying in the pew with us he had no issue hanging out with Judy. John has some great hair – it’s thick and curly and goes everywhere. Judy sat with him and played with his hair, listened to his stories, helped him keep relatively quiet, gave him his snack, everything. For that half hour she could have been his grandma.

Judy has helped me a number of times since this first instance. She knows all the kids and they love to see her. When we get to Mass they ask me, “Mommy, is Miss Judy reading today?” or “Mommy, where is Miss Judy sitting? Can we talk to her?” It is so sweet. She gets right down to their level and gives them all the love and attention that they want.

I feel so blessed that she is a part of our life. And Judy isn’t the only person like this in our lives. I have had a number of parishioners help me chase kids, do bathroom runs, walk to communion, and hold hands in the parking lot. Our family has been enveloped my our community in such a loving embrace. Each time someone holds open the door or helps one of my little ones put on their coat I feel God’s presence with us.

Sundays when Ben is gone are difficult. In some ways I dread the day, knowing what a challenge Mass will potentially be. But at the time time, every Sunday is an opportunity for me to humble myself and accept the help and support my community wants to offer me. This community is family. They have seen us at our worst and our best and still they come to check up on us, help us and love us.

Salt Cravings

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Do you ever have one of those days where you need salt. Everything salty sounds delicious and you find yourself fantasizing about french fries, potato chips, pretzels, or anything with enough salty goodness  to satisfy the craving. And no, this doesn’t just happen when I’m pregnant. I’m sure you’ve all had at least one day like this. Our bodies need salt. It is one of the components necessary to help water move through our systems. Our bodies do not function properly when we do not have enough salt.

Everything in life needs a little salt. Have you ever noticed on pretty much any cooking show that has a judge, someone is always critiqued for not using enough salt. Just the other day I heard a judge say “If you had just put a few more grains of salt, then the flavors would have really popped.” Even desserts need to have some salt.

There was one time, I was in high school, that I was making a new cookie recipe. I believed that the recipe, in my fairly inexperienced baking hands, called for too much salt. These were supposed to be sweet cookies after all. So I left the salt out. I think that we all know how those cookies tasted. Lifeless.

It is interesting, Jesus told his followers to be the salt of the earth (Matthew 5:13). He didn’t say to be the yeast, to be the flour, or to be the water – all other fundamental ingredients. What makes salt different is it’s ability to add flavor. Flour, yeast and water are all basic components to make bread. You don’t technically need salt to make bread, but I wouldn’t recommend it unless you like to eat cardboard. Maybe you do.

I definitely don’t like cardboard. I like flavor in my food and my life. I like to think that Jesus did too. After all, he did hang out with some pretty “flavorful” people for the time (tax collectors, women, non-Jews, lepers, to name a few) and he certainly spiced up the lives of his followers. Jesus asks us to do the same. We are supposed to spice things up. How? By being fully alive.

To be fully alive, we have to know who we are. We are children of the most high God, the author of all creation. We cannot be fully alive without recognizing that we are not the source of our existence. How can a building stand when it’s foundation is cracked? The basis of our “saltiness” comes from this primary fact of our being.

If you are ever feeling like you are losing touch with your “saltiness” (aka your ability to connect with Jesus and therefore your ability to see the world as he would want you), take some time to think about your encounters with Jesus. Pope Francis just said ““He never forgers, but we forget the encounter with Christ. And this would be a good assignment to do at home, to consider: ‘When have I really felt that the Lord was close to me? When have I felt the need to change my life, or to become better, or to forgive someone? When have I felt the Lord asking something of me? When have I encountered the Lord?’ Because our faith is an encounter with Jesus. This is the foundation of our faith: I have encountered Jesus.” (see more at http://www.news.va/en/news/pope-francis-our-faith-is-an-encounter-with-jesus)