When Does Motherhood Begin?

A quick Google search will reveal a whole host of opinions and definitions of the miraculous journey that we call “Motherhood.” For some, motherhood is very specifically tied to the birth event of a child. For others, motherhood begins when that first kick is felt. Still others consider a broader perspective to include adoptive mothers, mother-like figures or even spiritual mothers.

With such definitions, it would appear at first glance that motherhood is yet another area of relativistic individualism – what’s true for me may or may not be true for you and that’s ok. When we go to the dictionary, things are even less helpful. “The state of being a mother” isn’t the most illustrated definition. When looking up simply “Mother” things do get a bit more definite: “a female parent,” “a woman exercising control, influence, or authority like that of a mother,” or “something or someone that gives rise to or exercises protecting care over something else; origin or source.”

While there is still room for interpretation in these selected definitions, we can begin to see the blurry outlines of who and what a mother is. A mother is typically a female person, though the final definition opens even this observation up to all people. A mother is a person who has some level of authority over others, especially a protective care or measure of control grounded in a relationship. The last definition is most interesting – origin or source. Let’s take a special look at this perspective and how it relates to the Church’s understanding of motherhood.

St. Julian of Norwich

St. Julian of Norwich was an anchoress and mystic who lived in the late 1300s. An anchoress was a woman who “anchored” herself to a specific church, living a life of cloister and prayer. She received a series of sixteen visions of Christ which she wrote about in her work, Revelations of Divine Love, and can still be read today. She developed a new understanding of Jesus’ identity – Jesus as Mother.

Jesus Christ therefore, who himself overcame evil with good, is our true Mother. We received our ‘Being’ from Him ­ and this is where His Maternity starts ­ And with it comes the gentle Protection and Guard of Love which will never ceases to surround us.

Just as God is our Father, so God is also our Mother.

http://www.vatican.va/spirit/documents/spirit_20010807_giuliana-norwich_en.html

Here we find the maternity of Christ to fit perfectly with our modern definitions of a mother. Through Jesus we find our origin and in Jesus we are enveloped in protection and love.

Chiara Lubich

Chiara Lubich is the founder of the Focolare Movement, a movement of laity and clergy which began during WWII. Focolare means “Work of Mary” and it is through Mary’s guidance Chiara explores what total union with God and one another looks like. Chiara’s theology of Mary is deeply intimate, resonating with both St. Louis de Montfort and St. Maximillian Kolbe, two of the greatest Marian theologians. Part of Chiara’s understandings revolve around Mary’s role as Jesus’ mother, and by spiritual extension our mother. We are Mary’s children and as such are called to emulate her example. What is her example? To bear Christ to the world.

Mary’s is Jesus’ mother. Her willing cooperation with the Holy Spirit brought Jesus, the Son of God, into human existence. We too are called to bring Christ into the world. The motherhood of Mary in union with the Holy Spirit, which brings forth Christ, is relived in the Church and in each of us. According to Lumen Gentium #65, whenever Christ is born in the hearts of the faithful, they are participating in the mystery of the Incarnation where Christ is “conceived by the Holy Spirit and born from the Virgin.” All Christians, no matter their gender, profession, or age are called to live this birthing every day.

When does motherhood begin?

After all this, we still may not be closer to answering the question, “When does motherhood begin?” However, I think we do have some clues about something broader, and perhaps more important. Like love, motherhood isn’t a feeling. Nor is it necessarily something outside your control. Motherhood, like love, is a choice. When does someone start to act as a mother, to be a mother? Based on the secular definitions and the reflections of Julian of Norwich and Chiara Lubich, it is when a person chooses to serve another, regardless of the expense or cost to themselves.

Consider it this way. A couple wishes to have a child. The couple has been struggling to conceive and they are seeking advice, tracking her cycles, practicing NFP, paying attention to risk factors and doing a series of tests to screen out any other potential inhibitors. They make lifestyle changes as recommended. The wife is taking prenatal vitamins, being mindful of any alcohol and taking extra care in her tracking. The husband is supportive, moderating his own alcohol intake in solidarity with his wife, he encourages her tracking and any dietary changes which may help their hopes for a child. Are they practicing motherhood yet?

What about the family who hopes to adopt? They pray every day, children and parents alike, for their hoped for child. They work together to make any necessary changes to their home for the preliminary inspections and requirements. They fill out paperwork, answer questions, take time off work for meetings and other important interactions in order to be accepted as a potential family. Are they practicing motherhood yet?

What about a person who volunteers their time with their parish’s youth group? They dedicated time each week to encouraging and mentoring the teenagers. They open their home to the group for a summer barbeque, travel to a religious site or pilgrimage with them, and even help coach a summer intramural volleyball team. Is this person practicing motherhood yet?

What about the child who sees another sad or hurt at the playground. Instead of walking past, they sit down and ask to play together. Are they practicing motherhood yet?

If motherhood, as I said earlier, is “when a person chooses to serve another, regardless of the expense or cost to themselves,” then the clear answer to the previous scenarios is “Yes!” All these examples, even the child, are moments of motherhood.

Chiara sums it up beautifully in a letter written in 1983:

“…Mothers only know how to love. It is typical of a mother to love her children as herself, because there’s something of herself in them. … We too can find something of ourselves in others. For we must see Jesus in ourselves and in every neighbor. What shall we do? With each neighbor, at home, at work, or on the street, with the people we talk; with those we speak to over the phone, or for whom we carry out our daily work – with every person we meet these days, we must think: “I must act as if I were his or her mother,” and act accordingly. Mothers are always serving, Mothers always find excuses for their children. Mothers are always full of hope.”

The loveliest masterpiece of the heart of God is the heart of a mother – St. Therese of Lisieux

Happy Mother’s Day!

Daily Graces. kktaliaferro.wordpress.com

CatholicMom.com August Post

I really should have been doing this all along. For almost 2 years now I’ve been a contributor for CatholicMom.com. It’s an amazing website full of encouragement for moms of all ages and stages – parents in general really. Contributors from all over the country – moms, dads, grandparents, single adults, priests, nuns, brothers – all share Gospel reflections, posts about parenthood, sainthood, daily living, theology, even sharing recipes and movie reviews.

I’m going to *try* to remember each month to share here the beginning of my monthly article. Click the link to view the whole thing at catholicmom.com and check out what other articles are there for you to discover.

Enjoy!

Be Glad God is Like Stoplights

I was sitting at a particularly long stop light the other day. My kids were chattering in the back, asking when we would be moving again. I swear it felt like we had been waiting for five minutes, though in reality it couldn’t have been that long. A white truck pulled up next me and within two seconds the light switched to green. One of my kids shouted “That’s not fair! We had to wait longer.”

This got me thinking about the parable Jesus told about the workers in the vineyard. It’s the one where the landowner hires workers at dawn, agreeing to pay them the usual daily wage. Then hires more workers at mid-day, afternoon and evening, agreeing to pay each of them the usual daily wage. At the end of the day, those hired first are outraged that inflation didn’t happen when everyone was paid the same amount.

Continue at CatholicMom.com

Daily Graces. kktaliaferro.wordpress.com

December 19, 2016 – New Life

O Root of Jesse’s stem,
sign of God’s love for all his people:
come to save us without delay!

Notice how this antiphon doesn’t say “branch of Jesse’s stem” or “flower of Jesse’s stem.” It calls Jesus the root of Jesse’s stem. Jesse was David’s (David and Goliath, aka King David) father. The line of David was to be the line of kings. Isaiah foretold that it would be from the Davidic line that the Messiah would come. We read in the New Testament that Joseph was of the House of David.

But, those familiar with David’s story know that David screwed up. And even though his son, Solomon, was the wisest of men, he too strayed away from God’s laws. The Kingdom of Israel under David and Solomon would not survive and was split into 2 kingdoms, the Kingdom of Israel and the Kingdom of Judah. It wasn’t long before both were conquered by their enemies and taken away from the Promised Land. The tree of Jesse that had flourished was quite literally cut off at the stump.

But again, God is a God of fulfilled promises. Even though the Davidic line was indeed cut off, it was not uprooted. A new green shoot full of life would spring forth – Jesus. Just like in winter how a plant seems to die, come spring new life appears. Even when humanity goes astray and forgets about God, God never for a moment forgets about us. His love for us is eternal and His love for all His people is equal. No one is beneath or outside of God’s love.

When we turn away from God, when we cut ourselves off, God continues to reach out for us, just as the root of Jesse stretched itself outward and upward in the hopes of new life.

*** Please feel free to share your experience, thoughts and offer support to one another in the comments, on Twitter with the #DailyGraces or on the Facebook pageDaily Graces. kktaliaferro.wordpress.com