The Trouble with Cleaning

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There is a problem when you clean something. Before you cleaned the something in question – a window, a sink, a counter, a toilet, a dresser, take your pick – it was dirty. For many things in my house, once it is dirty you can’t tell to what extent it is dirty.

If the dresser is dusty, it’s new status is simply “dusty.” I can’t tell from yesterday to today how many more particles of dust have accumulated. It is just dusty. Same for the windows. With 3 kids and a dog, finger prints and smudges are a given for all of my window under 4 feet tall. With such a large general collection of “window art” shall we call it, I cannot tell from day to day which smudge is new or when exactly the green crayon appeared. Let’s not even talk about the stainless steel faucets in our bathrooms. Actually, let’s just avoid the bathroom entirely.

So you see, there is a problem with cleaning these dirty things that can stay dirty for any number of days without causing stress or tension because it is impossible to tell (or I willingly ignore) the level of dirty/dusty/smudged/smeared/covered in peanut butter and purple crayon.

A recently dirty window that leads to our backyard
A recently dirty window that leads to our backyard

But, of course, you have to clean it. The dresser must be dusted, the windows washed, the faucets cleaned and even the bathrooms, scary as they can be with a 3 year old boy who “stands like Daddy” and little girl in training. It is a wonderful feeling when my home is clean. How marvelous to be able to see out of the windows and to not have to cringe as I wash my hands. With environmental allergies, it is so refreshing to take a deep breath and not sneeze. How nice it is to walk around and not crunch cheerios, puffs, dog food or find Little Mermaid stickers stuck to the bottoms of my shoes.

The was clean but now is dirty again (probably) and needs to be cleaned again to get back to this state only to get dirty again etc etc etc
The was clean but now is dirty again (probably) and needs to be cleaned again to get back to this state only to get dirty again etc etc etc

Alas, the picture I just described only lasts for roughly 15 seconds on a rotating timetable. Just as I finish the windows and move onto the floor, Max, our excitable and self-proclaimed guard dog jumps up and smashes his nose on the window intent on saving the family from the jogger 100 yards up the street. As soon as I’m done sweeping the floor (actually, usually while I’m still sweeping in another area, sometimes only 2 feet away) someone drops something that will make a delightfully messy “crunch” in a matter of minutes. I’ll not trouble you with a description of what happens in the bathrooms, I think you can figure that one out for yourself.

It is a never ending cycle and hardly rewarding since I know that as soon as something is clean it will just be dirty all over again, usually in a matter of minutes. It would be much easier to just leave things dirty, which we all know is not healthy.

It’s also not healthy to neglect our spiritual life. Think about it like this. Your house is your life. The windows represent your spirituality. The cleaner your windows, the more light that can come into your house (the light being God, His grace, mercy, love, guidance, etc.) You can see what areas of your house need refurbishing, what areas are looking good, what areas need to be cleaned and where the dark corners are that require attention. But, when your windows are dirty, it is harder to see the areas of your house that are dirty, dusty, smudged or in need of repair. It is also harder to see those areas that are looking good, that you would want to be proud of and share with others.

Another window analogy, this one is from Fr. Robert Barron. Think about your car windshield. When is dark and you are driving away from a light source, your windshield looks pretty good. You don’t see that bug smudge from the other day or the rain splatter from the morning’s shower. But, when you turn and are driving toward the light, you can see in great detail just how many nicks, dings, smears and dirt spots are all over your windshield. When we are pointing away from God, it is easier to ignore our flaws, our insecurities, our dark corners. When we turn toward God, it is easier to address these areas because we can honestly see them. We also can see how they are obscuring our vision and once we clean them up, we can see even better than before.

The trouble with cleaning is now everything is clean! When everything is clean, you know exactly when it has gotten dirty again. But, maybe that’s not such a bad thing.

The Lion King Part II

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Back again with the Lion King. We are still listening to it, just in case you were curious. All the time, in case you were really curious. It has given me a lot of time to reflect on my other phrase from the soundtrack “They live in you.”

If you recall now 2 posts ago, I was writing about how two phrases had been sticking out for me as we listened to this soundtrack: “Remember who you are” and “They live in you.” I spent the last post talking about my thoughts and reflections on the first phrase – https://kktaliaferro.wordpress.com/2015/04/08/lessons-from-the-lion-king-part-1/.

Now we move onto the second phrase that has been keeping me sane as we drive around town. The idea of those who have come before us still living on can be hard to grasp. I admit, this is hard to wrap our minds around. I know that though I believed it, I didn’t really understand it. And there is a definite difference between belief and understanding.

A little over a year ago, my grandmother passed away. I had lost other people in my life prior to this, but I this time it was different. My grandma and I had a special relationship. Everything that I learned from her came not from a verbal lesson but an active demonstration. My grandma knew how to listen to people. Everyone who knew her loved her because, I believe, she really listened to them and genuinely cared about what they were telling her.

She taught me how to be a caretaker. I watched her care for her mother, my Nana, first in her own home and then in a nursing home as Nana withdrew farther and farther from the world due to Alzheimer’s. She showed me what it means to stand by some one, no matter what happens, even when they no longer remember who you are. It was such a painful time, but Grandma’s dedication and faithfulness drew the whole family together.

The most important lesson that my grandma taught me, and I believe taught all of us in the family, was how to die. Grandma was diagnosed with a version of ALS, I can’t remember the exact name anymore and it really doesn’t matter. Basically over the course of a year lost the ability to talk and swallow. She wasn’t one to let things stop her. As her speech slowed, she tried to embrace the technology available on the iPad. She made more smoothies than someone devoted to shakeology as her ability to chew and swallow deteriorated. I don’t mean to say that she was grasping for life, struggling to hold on. Not at all. Rather, she was assessing her present situation and conducting herself as best she could, living each day to the fullest extent.

One of her hardest days, I believe, was the day she realized she was no longer capable of receiving Holy Communion. She had such a devotion to the Eucharist and went to Mass often. I was not able to be home during this time, we were living in California already. My mom told me about an experience of attending Mass with Grandma and how what happened during Communion. My grandma walked up, slowly, with her hands folded across her chest. She bowed her head to receive her blessing. Then the priest held up the consecrated host for her to spiritually commune with. Thomas Aquinas described spiritual communion as “an ardent desire to receive Jesus in the most holy sacrament and lovingly embrace him” – See more at: http://www.dolr.org/article/those-unable-receive-eucharist-can-have-spiritual-communion#sthash.H9zrkstV.dpuf. This was Grandma. She was so in love with Jesus, this desire that Aquinas speaks of is what my mom saw reflected in her eyes.

My grandma died with grace. Her children surrounded her as she died, keeping vigil over her as she passed from this life into the next. As she was dying, a friend of the family, a nun, visited with my aunts and uncles regularly. She knew Grandma and knew her devotion to the rosary. She often led everyone in praying the rosary, for some of them it was their first time in a very long time praying this prayer. The ritual of prayer and praying aloud together strengthened everyone for the time to come and when Grandma did pass away, they were able to find solace, comfort and strength in that prayer.

By now you are probably wondering how this all ties in to the Lion King. “They live in you” can be said by a Catholic “the communion of saints.” When my grandma passed on into heaven, she did not cease to exist. She is alive in me every time I cook my spaghetti sauce that she helped teach me to make. She is alive in me every time I crochet. She is alive in me every time I go to Mass. She is alive in me every time I cook a meal for a friend in need. She is alive in our family when we gather together for celebrations, when we attend a cousin’s sporting activities, when we serve, and especially when we pray together.

Divine Mercy Sunday

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I know I should be posting Part II of my Lion King reflections (which by the way, since that first post I’ve heard the soundtrack about 15 times. It’s a miracle that I can sing any other song in my head at this moment). But I would be remiss to let this very special Sunday pass by without a few words of reflection.

divine_mercy_image_1920x1080

The first Sunday following Easter is a unique Sunday celebrated by the Catholic Church called Divine Mercy Sunday. We are celebrating the incredible love and mercy that flows from Jesus, our savior. At Mass today we even had a large portrait of the image of Divine Mercy. John and Rosie were so intrigued by the change. They kept asking about the colors coming from Jesus. I loved watching them notice the change in our liturgical space. It means that they really are observing and starting to participate in the rituals, which is so incredible as a parent.

On the topic of parenting and mercy, what a huge job parents have. When you really stop to think, from the earliest of days a parent’s actions, words, tones, looks, etc., are all taken in by our children. Lessons of discipline, respect, obedience, trust, and honesty are all so important for the development of both the child and the parent. Mercy, however, may be one of the most important things that a parent can teach. We demonstrate mercy when we are compassionate. We teach mercy when we extend forgiveness. We live mercy when we do not let yesterday’s hurts shadow over today’s triumphs (or struggles, or joys, or hurts).

Pope Francis, our wise pope, has declared that starting in December this year, the Church is going to be celebrating a extraordinary Holy Year (usually these happen every 25 years, the last being in 2000, hence the “extraordinary”) of Mercy. http://w2.vatican.va/content/francesco/en/apost_letters/documents/papa-francesco_bolla_20150411_misericordiae-vultus.html. This is going to be an incredible year. We all have a chance to make a difference, make a change, for mercy. Pope Francis says “Mercy is the very foundation of the Church’s life…The Church’s very credibility is seen in how she shows merciful and compassionate love.” One of the really cool things about our Church is that it sees families as the foundation, the building blocks of the whole Church. Families are called “domestic churches,” a microcosm of the global Church. If my family is a microcosm of the Church, then my family is called to have mercy at our cornerstone.

I hope to focus on learning about mercy and teaching/modeling mercy for our family. Keep up with Pope Francis if you can, he’s shaking things up all over the world.