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The Devout Life – Book Review

Published on September 18, 2023September 14, 2023 by KateLeave a comment

St. Francis de Sales is a spiritual teacher par excellence. The instruction he offers in, Introduction to the Devout Life (Introduction for short), which was first published in 1609, is as rich and beneficial today as it was over 400 years ago. However, as with most texts of this kind of history, sometimes the phrasing can be unfamiliar. Enter The Devout Life: A Modern Guide to Practical Holiness with St. Francis de Sales by Deacon Matthew Newsome.

Dcn. Newsome haș carefully and thoughtfully brought St. Francis de Sales’ timeless advice into a format that is easily accessible for anyone who wishes to learn more about the devout life. Newsome is quick to point out that this book isn’t a summary or a new translation. Rather, “it is a helpful resource, built upon the framework of St. Francis’s Introduction, for anyone seeking to grow in devotion to God through individual or small group-study” (pg.3).

Newsome follows the same structure of short reflections as the original Introduction. He offers practical ideas for how to digest and better put into practice the principles St. Francis de Sales recommends for growing in the spiritual life. There are reflection questions at the end of each 1-3 page section as well as an applicable Scripture verse which corresponds with the topic discussed. These additions lend themselves very well to individual journaling, conversations with Jesus during Adoration, or for sharing in a group setting.

All people are called to holiness. St. Francis de Sales wrote his Introduction to be a roadmap for everyday ordinary people to learn to lead a devout life, a life of holiness. To lead a devout life, one must practice devotion. Newsome recommends reading his book a little at a time, just one section a day. In this manner, the reader is building a habit of daily time with the Lord and considering how they are living out this calling to holiness.

Personally, I can attest to the strength of this wisdom. This is not a book to read in a weekend. It is one you can return to again and again, especially after slowly walking through it in its entirety. There will be times in your life when specific reflections will speak more strongly to you than others. The division of sections and topics makes this book easy to reference as you go through different seasons of the spiritual life.

The structure, the pace, the reflections, the wisdom – this book provides a solid frame work for anyone who wishes to cultivate habits of listening for God’s voice in their everyday life and making concrete choices which will help them live a holier, devout life.

For disclosures: I received a free copy of this book from Sophia Institute Press in order to review it both here and on Catholicmom.com. The opinions I share here are my own.

Habits – Twenty-fourth Sunday in Ordinary Time

Published on September 15, 2023September 14, 2023 by KateLeave a comment

On this week’s video, I talk about how Jesus is teaching His disciples that forgiveness is more than an action, it is a habit. If you were to do something 77 times, you would be well on your way to forming a habit. Jesus’ use of the the double 7 in 77 is symbolic as well as practical. 7 is a perfect number in the biblical sense (think the 7 days of creation) and the repetitive use here can indicate a certain abundance of the ideal. The commentary given by the USCCB website offers this beautiful phase, “limitless forgiveness.” What a world we could create if we each had a habit of limitless forgiveness.

In raising my children and getting to know each of them as unique individuals, I’ve come to discover that everyone comes into their habits differently. What works for one kid doesn’t always work for another. I have always known our oldest tends to learn one thing at a time well. He was like that even as a baby, I may have even shared this here before so excuse the repetitive story. It felt like it took John forever to walk, he actually didn’t let go of furniture until after his sister was born. He got everywhere he wanted to go by holding hands, cruising along the couches and chairs, or by pushing a laundry basket. But, once he decided he was ready to let go, he could run across the room without falling. The same story goes for talking. Hardly any words and then full sentences in a matter of weeks.

John is 12 now and we are working on building good habits that he can carry into adulthood. There are so many things I would like to teach him, to help him understand that life would be so much easier if just remembered his chores instead of me pestering him about them. There are even a few habits I thought we had down already, only to discover this new pre-teen lackadaisical attitude toward things like brushed teeth and listening skills really need to be recalled ASAP. I’m sure I’m not the only parent with these kinds of feelings.

As I think back on how John has grown, it should not be surprising to me that when I try to force a number of new habits on him at once, it isn’t going to go well. However, encouraging him to focus on one thing at a time, here we make some real progress. As his mom, I then have the opportunity to praise him for those efforts in this one specific area and really build him up in his ability to grow and mature while transitioning to the next good habit he needs in order to thrive as a teen and adult. Small success, small steps in the overall direction forward. It is also encouraging him to learn more about himself and how he best learns and grows which will ultimately help him in his relationships throughout life.

Turning the tables, I have been pondering how I best instill a new habit in myself. I’ve come up with a few criteria that need to be in place before a new habit can be formed. Perhaps my list will inspire you as well.

Empty space – if I’m trying to squeeze in a new habit, you can bet it’s going to be squeezed right out of my life. I need time and space to dedicate to the new habit.
Consistency – if it’s not scheduled, it’s probably not going to happen. A habit doesn’t need to be a daily thing, but each person has some kind of limit for how far between occurrences the practice needs to happen (perhaps there’s science on this out there). If I’m not practicing my new habit at least once weekly, it’s probably not going to stick. Even then, I’ll need to be careful because I’ll forget one week and then by the 4th I’ll recall I had a habit I was trying to cultivate and have since left behind.
Has a home or place – In bible study today (hooray, Walking With Purpose is at our new parish!), a participant shared about how if she doesn’t leave her meditation books out by her coffee cup in the evening she will forget to read them with her coffee in the morning. This is so me. Out of sight, out of mind completely describes how habits can get lost, whether on purpose or not.

What about habits like Jesus is talking about, the inner, intangible habits. Things like forgiveness, patience, empathy, silence, joy. These are a harder, as they happen at random, aren’t usually tied to physical objects, and can take any number of minutes or hours to fully process. Here are some suggestions:

Pray for the grace to grow in your habit. But be careful, as most older grandmas will tell you, if you pray for patience you will be gifted a whole host of opportunities to practice the virtue.
Ask the Holy Spirit to inspire the habit in you during specific situations. We can’t always anticipate when we will need empathy or courage. But, there are definitely situations in your life where you have an inkling ahead of time what type of inner habit you will need. Take the time before embarking into that situation to ask the Holy Spirit to pour His eternal gifts out on you that you need for that specific moment.
Keep a gratitude journal. Cultivating a spirit of gratitude is an excellent way to grow in thankfulness. It also encourages you to review your day, which then draws your attention to the times things went well and when they didn’t. This survey of the day or week can highlight the times you practiced one of these inner habits well, or where you need to grow.

Go Alone – Twenty-third Sunday of Ordinary Time

Published on September 8, 2023September 7, 2023 by KateLeave a comment

We have the amazing ability to be able to share our thoughts and opinions with the world via the internet. While not all of us have a million followers on Instagram or whatever Twitter is called these days, the things we share on the internet last. Time and again we are seeing how mistakes in the past are coming back to haunt politicians of all flavors, celebrities, and other more famous individuals. Post a picture, it’s there for ever. Say something overly negative about a particular person you have a problem with, it can be found at a later, likely very inconvenient, time.

Jesus’ advice in today’s Gospel is so important, and not because we are concerned about who is going to uncover what. There are, of course, many wonderful things about the interconnectivity of the internet, the ability to dialogue with people in other places beyond even your own country, and the way knowledge can be shared across a massive number of people. It’s amazing to fathom the positive possibilities the internet can bring.

However, there are downsides. One of the big struggles I have with the internet is the impersonal way it allows us to relate to one another. I can’t see a person’s hurt expression if I make an unkind comment. I can’t read facial expressions to understand what is sarcasm and what is a misunderstanding. I don’t see tears welling in someone’s eyes at hurtful comments made by others. These social cues are nonexistent in the online atmosphere.

Jesus’ approach is so different from how disagreements get handled online. Jesus says to go to the person in private and have a conversation with them. Find out if there is a misunderstanding, apologize if needed. Take the time to seek that person out and make them feel valued and heard so that the disagreement can peacefully be reconciled. If this doesn’t work, then include others into the conversation.

This one-on-one approach is vital for the building up of families and communities. How many of us have been doubly hurt when a situation got aired out in front of others instead of remaining between the two people who it pertained to? How often have you seen a group turn on a person who they know nothing about, but because the grievance got posted online now that person is being hit from all sides?

The next time you have an issue with someone, consider Jesus’ words. Are you seeking healing and reconciliation by sharing about the struggle in a public space, or just looking to vent and possibly due harm to that person’s reputation? Is the issue important enough for you to take time out of your own schedule to meet with that person, or share a phone call? If you were on the other end of this event, how would you want it handled?