Phrasing can be as Important as the Question

My five and four year olds have been running through the house with their race cars recently shouting, “Rampage!” It’s been consistent enough, and loud enough, both Ben and I have been wondering where it came from. Ben recalled it as a quote from a TV show, but not one for kids, so it obviously wasn’t that. He asked them, “Where is the whole ‘Rampage!’ thing from?” They both blankly looked back, unable to tell him. Ben was telling me about this and I asked if he had tried phrasing the question differently. “Which character says it?” or “What was happening in the show or book when you heard it?” Eventually we settled on the recent race car show after trying a few different questions to help jog their memories.

This whole experience got me thinking about the importance of how we phrase questions. We’ve all had a hard time accessing a memory until someone says just the right phrase, we smell the right smell, or are able to back track through a series of memories to get to the one we want. It’s like getting the right key in the lock, once we get the right key the memory opens. It doesn’t matter how we got there, just that it makes sense in our mind.

I experience this same kind of thing when doing math with my kids, especially when they are first learning the basics of addition, subtraction, multiplication, and division. 8+4 can be looked at a few ways. You can start at 8 and count up 4. You can start at 4 and count up 8. You can borrow 2 from the 4 to get to 10, then add the extra 2 that are left. 8×4 is 4 8’s, or 8 4’s, or it’s 8×2 twice, 4×4 twice, etc. No matter how we get there, 8+4 =12 and 8×4 = 32. I’ve learned that each kid has their own preferences for how to break down numbers and put them back together again. It’s important to learn all the ways of course, but it’s also good to learn that this one prefers doubling while another prefers counting up or back, etc.

This is also a great way to think about the different spiritualities and movements in the Church. All the spiritualities of the Church have the same goal – holiness and intimacy with Christ. But how they get there is different, and that’s great! Let’s look at a few (there are so very many, it would be quite challenging to list them all) and see the wonderful diversity open to our spiritual journeys.

Focolare

You had to know I’d start with the Focolare. This is the lay ecclesial movement our family is a part of. In the spirituality of the Focolare, the main focus is unity. The way unity is achieved is by following the two Great Commandments of Jesus – love of God and love of neighbor. Unity can be achieved when we recognize in every person we meet Jesus alive and present before us. In this way, we can go to God together, two (or more) people loving to their fullest capability Jesus in the other person. We become a participation in the life of the Trinity: God, myself, and the person I love.

Benedictine

One of the earliest formal spiritualities in the Church is the Benedictine Order. Founded by St. Benedict in the early 500s A.D., the Benedictines follow the Rule of St. Benedict, the first of its kind. Benedictine spirituality places great emphasis on balance in life, especially between work and prayer. The community of monks come together at regular intervals throughout the day to pray, and then go out into the community (or elsewhere in the monastery) to work and serve in all areas of life. Benedictine spirituality is therefore deeply communal. Rather than moving from place to place, Benedict wished, as much as possible, for the members of the order to remain stable so they could fully invest in their community.

Franciscan

The Franciscan spirituality was founded by St. Francis of Assisi and is one of the largest religious communities, present in nearly every country across the world. Franciscan spirituality highlights both deep contemplation as well as intentional action with special focus on evangelical poverty and care of creation. For St. Francis, and by extension St. Clare who helped found the Poor Clares, the women’s branch of the Franciscan order, all of creation is an opportunity to witness and participate in the goodness of God. This included everything from beautiful sunsets to worms and dirt, from the immense joy of a newborn baby to the suffering and sorrow of a painful death.

Carmelites

Carmelites have a fascinating history as there is no single person we can trace as their founder. The Carmel refers to Mt. Carmel where the prophet Elijah settled, as we can read about in 1 Kings. In 1155 we find the first recorded references to hermit monks living in the caves on Mt. Carmel, dedicating themselves to penance and prayer. They built a church and in the 1200s St. Albert of Jerusalem wrote a Rule for them to follow. The goal of the rule was for the hermit monks to live with greater intensity their faith through lives dedicated to prayer, silence, and solitude. Today, Carmelites continue in this tradition. While many Carmels are cloistered, there are some active communities that live and work within the wider community. Carmelites strive for intimacy with God, recognizing the incredible gift of God’s entrance into human history in the Incarnation. This intimacy is especially sought after in contemplation, stillness, and solitude.


I could, of course, go on and on. There are so many beautiful spiritualities in the Church that offer unique and practical ways of journeying through this life towards heaven. There are the Marianists, the order who ran my college and sparked my interest in the importance of community. The Lasallian priests and brothers founded my high school and impressed upon me the importance of a Catholic education where all the subjects can be connected, faith interwoven even in math. There is the Institute of the Blessed Virgin Mary, an old order founded in 1609 during the height of the Protestant Reformation in England by a woman, Mary Ward, who wished for her companions to be uncloistered – a revolution within a revolution and a fascinating study (as I did in my undergraduate thesis). There are the Dominicans, the preaching order, the Jesuits (Pope Francis!), the Augustinians (Pope Leo!), and so very many, many more.

I hope that this post has inspired you to consider learning more about one or two of these spiritualities. Look around your local community. Do you have a monastery nearby, a cloister? Does your parish or diocese have a certain spirituality that meets regularly? Is your parish or one in your area run by an ordered priest? What about the local Catholic schools or universities?

No matter the spirituality, the goal of them all is to bring us closer to Jesus. I heard it explained like this once. The whole of the Gospels brings us to Jesus. But, we read them usually in short snippets, focusing on one or two aspects of Jesus at a time. Just as the smallest particle of Eucharist is still the whole Eucharist, so too these shorter sections still contain all of Jesus. So perhaps I read about one of the healing miracles and feel drawn to a spirituality that has special focus on healthcare, poverty, and service. Someone else may read about Jesus moving away from the crowd to spend time in silence and prayer and feel called to a contemplative life, one that focuses on intense prayer for the whole world and a life detached from the things of the world. Another could read the Sermon on the Mount and be drawn to a life of teaching and preaching, dedicating themselves to the spiritual works of mercy such as “instruct the ignorant,” “counsel the doubtful,” and “admonish the sinner.” Each of these biblical moments tells us something about Jesus and is a way to be close to Jesus. Isn’t it wonderful that Jesus, in his humanity, shows us such a myriad of ways to follow after him!

Daily Graces. kktaliaferro.wordpress.com

Angelus – Twenty-eighth Sunday of Ordinary Time

Matthew 22:1-14

As the weeks continue to march on, I am feeling stretched rather thin. At times like these, it is important to take the time to discern what God’s will is for this season, this moment. I have taken on quite a bit creatively, and Bilbo’s words from Fellowship keep coming back to me. This is from when he is talking to Gandalf about why he needs to go away from the Shire.

Why, I feel all thin, sort of stretched, if you know what I mean: like butter that has been scraped over too much bread.

The Fellowship of the Ring, J.R.R. Tolkien

I am not ready to say weekly Gospel reflections here need to be paused, but I don’t have the creative energy or time to do both a YouTube video and additional post. So for this week, I leave you in the most capable of hands, Pope Francis.

The link here is to an Angelus audience from Oct. 11, 2020.

Daily Graces. kktaliaferro.wordpress.com

Reality Check – Twenty-seventh Sunday of Ordinary Time 2023

Matthew 21:33-43

Well, we’ve had a week. And it’s ending with our dog needing to have one of his eyes removed. I’ll spare you the details.

But, even in all that, I still wanted to get a brief reflection out there about this Sunday’s Gospel reading. It even loosely ties into the dog business that has consumed so much of my waking and sleeping thoughts.

To boil it all down: None of this world actually belongs to us. Not my sweet dog, not my joyful (or not so joyful when certain math problems get tricky) children, not my home, not my husband, not even my own life. None of this big, wide, beautiful, messy world belongs to me. Nor, I’m sorry to say, does it belong to you. All of what we have belongs to God.

In this Gospel passage, Jesus lays out the whole of humanity’s reality in a few brief sentences.

There was a landowner who planted a vineyard,
put a hedge around it, dug a wine press in it, and built a tower. 
Then he leased it to tenants and went on a journey.

Matthew 21:33

God created the world and everything in it. He then gave it to His most beautiful creations, humans, to be stewards over what He had made. And while the parable mentions a journey, we know that God has not walked away from His creation to leave us to struggle on our own. It is, after all, a parable and meant to illustrate a point. The point here is that God, the land owner, has given the tenants, aka us, the ability to freely choose how to live in the vineyard.

If we really, truly, take this to heart, it has some important implications in our relationships with others and with the wider world around us. It’s the whole, “With great power comes great responsibility,” moment. Both my husband and I have really felt the weight of these words as we have struggled in discerning how to best help our aging dog, Max.

Max is 13 and we discovered last week he was having eye concerns. Don’t worry, I’m not going to get detailed here. Suffice to say that after many, many different eye drops and antibiotics, he was still in a great deal of pain and even had to go to the vet emergency room. We found ourselves Thursday morning deciding between trying to save the eye (with a hefty price tag) at a pet hospital 1.5 hours away next week, or taking it out today and ending his misery. We have never had to make a decision like this before and I am still emotionally exhausted from the experience. All we wanted to do is to minimize his pain and maintain the highest quality of life he can have while also not going into debt. I desperately wanted for someone else to tell us what to do. But we are Max’s owners, and in bringing him into our family God had entrusted him to our care.

There is a delicate balance being played out here. Max belongs to us, we determine what care he receives. Yet at the end of the day, we have to be able to answer to God how we cared for His creature. The same logic can be applied to our children, to our bodies, and to anyone or anything we find under our earthy authority. God does not swoop in and lay out how each choice should be handled (wouldn’t it be nice sometimes though?). But He does give us the grace to make those decisions. At the end of time, or the end of our earthly life, we will need to be able to offer an accounting of how well we fulfilled our vocation as a steward over creation.

I’m happy to say Max is doing well and the kids are already planning pirate-themed costumes for Halloween. My favorite ideas so far are either: A. Max is the pirate captain and we are all his crew, or B. Max is the pirate and we dress Nathan (the 2 year old) up like a parrot to be his sidekick. Both options crack me up!

Daily Graces. kktaliaferro.wordpress.com