Circumstances

No one lives with perfect circumstances. Things might be going really well, but there is always something in your life that could be fixed up. Even in the lives of Mary, Joseph, and Jesus – two of whom were perfect people in that they were without sin – even they lived in imperfect circumstances. We don’t get to pick our circumstances but we do choose how we respond to them. The Christmas season highlights a few different biblical characters and the way they chose to respond to unusual, perhaps even seemingly imperfect, circumstances.

Zachariah, the father of John the Baptist, responded with fear and doubt when told about his coming son by the angel. He relied on his own understanding and was not open to the possibilities the Holy Spirit could create. Mary, on the other hand, received a message from an angel about a baby as well. But in her case, she remained open to the action of the Holy Spirit, being willing to cooperate with God’s plans even though she did not understand them. She was filled with the Holy Spirit and even before Jesus was born we are able to hear how both Mary and Elizabeth (John the Baptist’s mother) speak inspired words to one another. Both Mary’s fiat, her “yes” to God, and her Magnificat spring from her faith and trust in God’s love.

The Holy Spirit still speaks to us today if we are attentive. Sometimes in the words of others, sometimes in the words that come out of our own mouth. Sometimes, even in our imperfect circumstances.

This fall, my mom was diagnosed with a glioblastoma tumor in her brain. This is an aggressive type of tumor and it was less than 48 hours between diagnosis and brain surgery to remove as much as possible. Our whole world was completely turned upside down. Thankfully, the surgery was as successful as the doctors could hope for. There is still a long road to go, and we don’t know the twists and turns that will come.

Before my mom was diagnosed, she had some speech and word finding issues. After surgery, the doctors said she could have a hard time with speech due to the location of the tumor. We have some funny stories of those early days and the word switches, misses, and adaptations my mom came up with as her healing began. Every so often, she still slips. However, there is one particular slip that I believe is Holy Spirit inspired.

While the chemo my mom was prescribed are daily oral pills she can take at home, radiation had to happen at a cancer center. Every weekday for 6 weeks she went to the center for treatment. After a few visits and settling into a routine, she began calling “radiation” “adoration.” Obviously, these two things are definitely different. And yet, as we talked about it, I can’t help but feel there is some kind of Holy Spirit inspiration between the switch.

What happens in radiation? For a few minutes (really, less than 10, it’s rather remarkable), the person has to lie in perfect stillness while the mechanisms and machinery delivers the radiation treatment to a specific and carefully aligned area of the body. There isn’t anything my mom can do to make this process more effective or efficient except to be faithful to the treatment process. If she didn’t go every day, the effectiveness would greatly diminish. If she wasn’t compliant to the doctor’s recommendations for staying active even when she was exhausted, to try her best to eat as well as she could even when all she wanted was saltines, her body wouldn’t be as strong as it could be to continue fighting this invisible enemy.

What is adoration? Adoration is coming to adore Christ. It is taking time out of our day to place Jesus at the center of our life. Typically, people are pretty still during adoration, with sitting or kneeling being the predominant postures. Adoration is an opportunity to open ourselves up to Jesus’ action in our lives, to let him highlight the areas of our life in need of his mercy, his healing, and his love. In Adoration we can receive inspiration for how to live our lives, what actions should we do or avoid that will help us more fully follow God’s Will. We faithfully show up to adoration, but it’s God’s action that is on display.

From this light, there is a lot in common between radiation and adoration. If you are willing, I’d like to invite you to pray for my mom, Mary Kay, and for her healing. I’d also invite you to pray for my dad, Steve, as he walks this journey with her. My parents have both asked for prayers specifically through Chiara Lubich’s intercession. Long-time readers will hopefully recognize Chiara as the founder of the Focolare Movement that our family is a part of. Below is the prayer of intercession that is officially recognized by the Church. Chiara is a named Servant of God but cannot move forward in the canonization process without miracles associated with her intercession. God willing, my mom can be one of those miracles.


Eternal Father, source of Love, and of every light and goodness, we give You thanks for the charism of unity given to Chiara and for the remarkable witness to the Church and humanity that she gave of this charism, remaining faithful to Jesus Forsaken.

Grant us, O Father, through the action of the Holy Spirit and the Word lived in the present moment, and in following Chiara’s example, the grace to contribute together with all people of good will to the fulfilment of Your Son’s will: “That they may all be one!”

Humbly we ask You to grant us, Your children, to live in mutual love and in love of all so as to rejoice in the presence of the Risen One while, in communion with Chiara and through her intercession, we ask You, if it be Your will, the grace for the complete healing of Mary Kay Jennrich from brain cancer, through Jesus and for the glory of the Most Holy Trinity.

Amen

If you’d like to learn more about Chiara and the movement, I have three resources for you. First is the film Love Conquers All that can be viewed on Formed.org. Many parishes subscribe to this streaming database. Check with your local parish if you are unsure if you have free access or not. The second is the primary website of the Focolare Movement. Third is the main media resource for the Focolare which has videos, articles, and other resources you may be interested in.

Daily Graces. kktaliaferro.wordpress.com

Anticipation and Hope – Finding Peace

Have you ever looked forward to something? And in doing so, has the thought of that something completely spoiled the day you were having? I definitely had one of those days last week and I’m kicking myself for letting anticipation get the better of me.

A friend and I decided that for the rest of the summer, we are going to try to help each other out by doing some kid swaps. She has 4 kids, similarly aged to my own. So, this particular afternoon she was going to take my 4 for 2 hours. Next week, I’ll take hers. We’re offering each other a bit of respite and support and it’s such a great thing!

But, there’s always a but, the morning leading up to my afternoon of freedom was a disaster. Guess who had no patience, no tolerance, few smiles and frequent bouts of frustration? Yep, it wasn’t a pretty sight and I’ve had to apologize to everyone a few times over. I was so looking forward to time alone, that I started to want it immediately. Why should I have to wait? Why can’t these kids just [insert anything your mom has said about why you should leave her alone]. Why is there so much screaming, arguing, wanting, whining, pushing, etc?

These “why’s” where filling up my head, pushing me to behave in a manner I am not proud of. And under it all, was one more “why” that I should have been listening to along, one much more quiet but of much greater consequence.

Why are you reacting this way? What good comes from you losing your cool, expecting behavior beyond their age and demanding perfection when you yourself can’t keep it together? 

Conveniently, C.S. Lewis provides some insight into this particular situation. We are currently reading aloud The Silver Chair and are enjoying the antics of Jill, Eustace (John loves to shout and giggle his full name, Eustace Clarence Scrubb!) and Puddleglum. During the course of their adventures in Narnia and beyond, the group travel across a vast and harsh plain in search of a ruined giant city. They meet a Lady and Knight, who tell them not of a ruined city, but of a thriving one called Harfang. The children, who have been sleeping on the ground and existing on little but what they could catch, are overjoyed by this news. However, their joy doesn’t last long:

Whatever the Lady had intended by telling them about Harfang, the actual effect on the children was a bad one. They could think about nothing but beds and baths and hot meals and how lovely it would be to get indoors. They never talked about Aslan, or even about the lost prince…And though you might have expected that the idea of having a good time at Harfang would have made them more cheerful, it really made them more sorry for themselves and more grumpy and snappy with each other and with Puddleglum (94-95).

There is no sin in looking forward to something. We all have hopes for what will come, be it in a few minutes or years from now. There is something captivating about hope. It draws us in and points us forward.

The problem I was facing, and that the children in The Silver Chair were facing, wasn’t an issue of hope, but of anticipation. One of the definitions of anticipation is “The act of anticipating, taking up, placing, or considering something beforehand, or before the proper time in natural order.” I was anticipating this good thing that was coming to me at the expense of the good things right in front of me.

The theological virtue of hope is what I should have been dwelling in. The Catechism of the Catholic Church has some beautiful things to say about hope. At the very end of its paragraphs on hope, there is a quote from St. Teresa of Avila that really speaks to this particular situation:

Hope, O my soul, hope. You know neither the day nor the hour. Watch carefully, for everything passes quickly, even though your impatience makes doubtful what is certain, and turns a very short time into a long one. Dream that the more you struggle, the more you prove the love that you bear your God, and the more you will rejoice one day with your Beloved, in a happiness and rapture that can never end.

Impatience makes doubtful what is certain…..preach St. Teresa! How often do I get caught up in impatience that it blinds me to what I know to be certain. Hope is what gives us the strength to wait for the Lord, to be at peace with His timing. If we know our Scripture we know what has been promised – blessing, love, mercy, goodness, and ultimately, life everlasting with our Father in heaven.

We are given opportunities each day to grow our hopeful spirit. Instead of anticipating, or focusing all our energy on what is to come, we should focus on what gifts and goodness God has given us right now. Through a proper attitude of hope, we discover true and lasting peace.Daily Graces. kktaliaferro.wordpress.com