A Not Series

Well dear readers, it seems my ideas about an ongoing series of series is perhaps not panning out. I do intend to do something with the Colors in the Focolare movement, but I need to learn more, ponder more. That being said, I am not without inspiration to continue writing. We are just back to the old “series” – a.k.a. as the Holy Spirit inspires me so shall I write. Which is what I’m bringing you today.

Presently, I am helping to pilot a new VLCFF (Virtual Learning Community for Faith Formation) course on Mary in Scripture. Thus far it has been an enjoyable course. In these first weeks we have been studying typology. Typology, or the study of types, analyzes Old Testament persons, events, themes and motifs that can be seen as prefiguring New Testament counterparts. Some examples would be Jesus as the New Adam, Mary as the New Eve, the Eucharist and the Passover, etc. In this course specifically we are focusing on Mary and Marian types.

We spent quite a bit of time looking at the Gospel of John and how he used types to demonstrate Mary’s role within salvation history. The Wedding at Cana featured prominently in our discussions. We are using an excellent resource by Scott Hahn, “Hail Holy Queen: The Mother of God in the Word of God,” (I highly recommend if this topic is of interest to you). In it, he goes into great detail going through the types found within the Wedding of Cana scene. Below is part of a comment I shared within our group discussion:

It is enlightening to consider Mary as the New Eve, and how both had a choice to make. Eve, to take the fruit or not. Mary, to try to solve this problem on her own or to hand it to her Son. As a mom, I know how easy it is to “just do it myself.” To let my kids help, each in their own way and according to their abilities, means that often, things aren’t necessarily done exactly to my specifications or perceived correct manner of doing things. Instead of trusting God to reveal knowledge and His plans for the couple, Eve “did it herself.” Mary, on the other hand, turns to her Son and provides Him the space to do and reveal as He wished. 

Ever wonder what it’s like to have the Holy Spirit speak to you through your own words? That was me as I finished writing this. I wonder if I got the smallest taste of what it was like for the Gospel writers or other biblical authors. To have written something not totally of your own inspiration. The words were yours, but somehow, they came from someone else.

These words are ones I’ve needed to hear, and needed to hear, and yes, needed to hear over again. And they are words that, obviously, I haven’t been able to effectively teach myself. I needed them to come from someplace else. A Godly place.

Whenever I hold on too tight, I cannot hold onto anything at all. The more I try to control a situation the harder it becomes to manage the smallest details. A concrete example.

I have tried for many moons now, years actually, to have better control over waking up on time. Yes, we’ve had lots of babies and rocky sleep and teething and nursing and all the things. Yes. But deep down, I’ve known that there were definitely periods of time between the hard that I could have been rising earlier than I was. I wanted to be able to get up before everyone else, to have that morning time with God, to have time to stretch and exercise, to read a book, to listen to the birds, to have a cup of tea, to…..whatever! Just to get up! Of course, I’ll probably never get all those things done in a single morning before everyone else wakes up (I mean if I started at 4am maybe but since I was having trouble with 7am I’m thinking baby steps were a better idea).

Then, I heard a powerful idea. Coming full circle, it’s something Chiara of the Focolare said. It is from the end of a meditation on what Jesus did for each of us in coming to earth and sacrificing Himself so that we might go to Heaven. I will put the meditation in full below. But the short phrase that I have carried with me is, “For you, for you Jesus.” All that I do, I ought to do for love of Jesus. Before opening my mouth to speak, before choosing what work to do next, before disciplining or praising a child, it’s all for Him. This little phrase has radically altered so much of how I act, when I remember to say it frequently. And I can tell when I haven’t been.

How does this relate to getting up in the morning and relinquishing control? I no longer get up and out of bed for me. I get up for Him. When the first words on my mind when the alarm goes off are “For you, for you Jesus!” I’m immediately turning myself outward. I am getting up for Jesus. To be with Him in prayer, to stretch my body so I can serve Him and my family better. Some mornings I am getting up to simply read a book or to knit a few rows of a project. But I am getting up and out of bed most days of the week before any child is awake or at least allowed out of bed. I am not perfect but I feel the habit forming. This wasn’t something I could do on my own, I had to let it go. I had to find a different purpose.

So now, I find myself trying to order my day around this phrase. For you Jesus, I will cheerfully go about my chores, knowing that when I work cheerfully the work is done more efficiently. For you Jesus, I will chase Nathan around swim lessons because the skills the confidence his siblings are gaining in the water are worth his pterodactyl screeches. For you Jesus I will help Ben cook tofu nuggets (yes, really. They were my idea but Ben made them…and everyone ate them!) because it is good for our family to continue broadening our palate and appreciation for all kinds of food. For you Jesus, I am typing this blog post instead of knitting the shawl that’s sitting on the floor at my feet waiting to be loved, but I felt the Spirit’s promptings and instead of ignoring them, I am full of peace.


Here is Chiara’s reflection in full. I do not have the reference for where and when she wrote this, unfortunately. I found it in a collection of meditations titled, “Heaven on Earth: Meditations and Reflections.”

Speaking of Jesus, Paul writes, “…and he gave his life for me” (Rom 5:8). Each of us can repeat those words of the apostle: for me.

My Jesus, you have died for me, how can I doubt your mercy? And if I can believe that mercy with a faith that teaches me that God has died for me, how can I not risk everything to return such love?

For me…Words wipe away the solitude of the most lonely and give divine value to every person despised by the world. Words that fill every heart and make it overflow upon this who either do not know or do not remember the Good News.

For me…For me, Jesus, all those sufferings? For me that cry on the cross?

Surely, you would never give up on us. You will do everything imaginable to save us if only because we have cost you so much.

You gave me divine life just as my mother gave me human life. In every moment you think of me alone, as you do of each and every person. This – more than anything in the world – give us the course to live as Christians.

For me. Yes, for me.

And so, Lord, for the years that remain, allow me also to say:

For you.

Daily Graces. kktaliaferro.wordpress.com

Echoes of Motherhood

It’s been a while since I’ve talked about the Focolare. The Focolare Movement is a lay movement within the Church that was started by Chiara Lubich in Trent, Italy, during World War II. Chiara received a series of experiences with a small group of friends that inspired them to dedicate their lives to serving those around them by placing love in the center of their hearts and minds. They were formed by the Gospels, especially John 17 where Jesus prays that “all might be one.” No one was above their notice, time or care and they served their community amidst the devastation of the war. (If you want to read some thoughts about Motherhood inspired by Chiara, check out this post.)

I am currently reading a book which is a compilation of Chiara’s writings and thoughts about the Blessed Mother. I have started this book a number of times, but never finished it. I’m hoping that this time, I go the distance. Lately, I’ve been feeling especially drawn to Chiara, her writings and the movement in general. I’m searching for something, but I don’t know exactly what yet. Perhaps it is something that this movement can offer. Even if not, Chiara has a beautiful way of talking about Mary, Jesus, Love, the Church, you name it. It resonates with me and makes me think. So, I’m going to keep reading, keep learning and continue pondering.

This week, I was reading about how God revealed to Chiara the incredible mystery of the Incarnation and Mary’s Immaculate nature. Chiara recognized that Mary is, as a creature created by God, contained by the Trinity. We all are. But,

Mary contains God! God loved her so much as to make her his mother and his love made him become small before her.

Mary: The Transparency of God, 26

I mean, wow. Let’s just stop everything right there for the next 10 years and contemplate that mystery. Mary, the Mother of God! How our limited language fails us to fully express this mystery. And then, in God’s great generosity, this incredible woman before whom God became small for so she might bear our salvation to the world, she becomes our mother.

Chiara recognized that just as Mary bore Jesus, we are also called to bring Jesus forth into the world. We are, effectively, “little Marys.” Mary allowed herself to be empty before God so that He could fill her with His divine life, His grace, His Son. In becoming imbued with God’s Word, she becomes the model for each of us. Chiara says:

All Christians are called to re-live Mary, who, as we have seen, is the Word fully lived out. We must re-live her in order to generate Christ in ourselves and in others. As St. Ambrose puts it, ‘If according to the flesh, the Mother of Christ is one alone, according to the faith, all souls bring forth Christ.'”

Exposition of the Holy Gospel according to Saint Luke

We are called to generate Christ by allowing ourselves to be filled with the Word. We fill ourselves with so many things – pride, success, ambition, chocolate, television, TikTok, hobbies, worries, plans. None of these things bring us true and lasting happiness. None of these things will bring us to live out our true and deepest vocation – to become Christ-bearers for those around us.

As Chiara said in the above quote, not only are we to bring Christ from within us to others, we help others to generate Christ within themselves. Chiara contemplates Mary as not only Mother of God, but mother to each of us. She pondered,

I remember it was then that I looked upon our mother, Mary, for the first time with the gaze of a daughter, but a daughter who saw her real self in her mother.

From a talk to the men and women focolarini, 1972

As a daughter who saw her real self in her mother. In a twist, I had this experience the other day, but as a mother who heard her real self in her daughter. And friends, it wasn’t exactly a pretty sound. I was upstairs changing a diaper and I heard a conversation between Clare, who is 7, and Gabriel, who is 2. Gabe was asking for help in his sweet and overbearing 2 year old manner. Lots of insistence, lots of NOW, little please or patience or care that he was interrupting Clare’s book. Finally, Clare huffed and said in a tone all too familiar to my ears, “Gaaabe! Do I have to do everything for you!?” She did, to her credit, get up and help him with what he needed. But what I heard come from her could have been my voice, my tone. I was totally caught off guard at this revelation and immediately thought of this last passage which I had just finished reading only a few moments earlier.

If my children are to become little Mary’s, they need an example to follow. If they are to become Christ-bearers, they need to witness what that looks like in everyday life. What I heard from Clare is that I’m coming up short.

Rather than taking this as a discouragement, I’m trying to use it as guidance for the way forward. None of us is perfect, least of all me. I do not think any of this was a coincidence and I am thankful I was aware enough to receive the lesson. My prayer and focus now is that I actually learn from it. Pray for me friends!

Daily Graces. kktaliaferro.wordpress.com

To Be “Knitworthy” – Advent Journals are HERE!

First, the exciting news, Advent Journals for 2021 are here! I have to keep things fun and interesting, and I have to work with what God is inspiring me to write. So this year, there’s only one Advent Journal – Embrace Your Own Pace. For those of you who enjoy the Lectio Divina style journals, fear not. Because those are something God consistently placed on my heart to create for 3+ years, there are now 3+ years of journals to choose from. This upcoming liturgical year that begins this Advent happens to be Year C. All of the previous years’ Advent Journals can be found here.

This year’s journal is linked at the end of this post. As usual, there is no fee, no sign up requirement, no strings. This is a totally free resource to help you encounter Christ during the Advent season.

I wanted to talk a little bit about why I feel so strongly about keeping these journals free to anyone who wants to use them. And, since so much of my creative energy has been poured into knitting lately, I have another knitting story to share.

There is a thing in the knitting world. It seems pretty dominant, I’ve seen it referenced on a number of podcasts (yes, there are multiple knitting podcasts out there), YouTube channels, individual designers and frequently on Instagram. It is this idea that there are people in your life who are, “knit-worthy.” Or, perhaps more accurately, there are people in your life who are “un-knit-worthy.”

Here’s the deal. Nothing handmade is quick if it’s being done well. Knitting, done well or not, is one of those crafts that just takes time. There are those outliers who can knit a sock in 4-5 hours. But that’s just one sock, last I checked most people have 2 feet needing covering. That’s upwards of 10 hours of work for a single pair of socks. And those are the quick people. It usually takes me at least double that time. So if socks can take someone an entire day’s time to knit up, imagine how much time it takes to knit a shawl or sweater. This isn’t taking into account the cost of the yarn, which has a wide range of box store to unique one of a kind indie dyer or hand spinner. To receive a knitted gift is a big gift. It is, to use the cliche phrase, “a labor of love.”

Now, it seems that the knitting world has created some imaginary standards for who is “worthy” for such a gift. These standards, or expectations, include things like:

  • Will this person wear the gift?
  • Will they put the all wool sweater in the dryer?
  • Will they show off the garment/gift to other friends?
  • Will they praise my work and abilities?
  • Will they appreciate the amount of time and effort this gift took and treasure it always?

These are pretty high standards. Ben and I were talking about this phenomenon in the car last week while on a multi-day trek to San Antonio and back for a friend’s wedding. When we buy a gift for someone, of course we hope they will use it. We hope they will take care of it and appreciate the time we spent picking it out for them. We hope it doesn’t end up in their work White Elephant party a few days after we gift it to them. But, these are hopes, not expectations.

Interestingly, when you go on Etsy to purchase a gift that was handmade, the shop owner does not list out any type of expectations to go along with their item. They may recommend washing or care instructions, perhaps they will suggest a way to use or wear the item. Ultimately, however, they know they have no control over how the person purchasing their item will use it, gift it, or otherwise be inclined to destroy it. The transfer of funds from buyer to seller is the point. Once the item is purchased, the seller moves on and so does the buyer.

As Christmas approaches, and as we continue to hear with anxiety about “global supply chain shortages,” the theme of gift giving will be occupying a lot of space in our brains. I would like to challenge you, as I am challenging myself, to consider what the appropriate state of mind a true gift giver ought to be. In order to do this well, it would do us all a lot of good to consider what gifts we have been given, most importantly the gift par excellence – the gift of Jesus.

The gift of Jesus isn’t something we earned. We were not worthy, righteous, or even hitting the minimums. St. Paul very clearly lays it out for us:

For Christ, while we were still helpless, yet died at the appointed time for the ungodly. Indeed, only with difficulty does one die for a just person, though perhaps for a good person one might even find courage to die. But God proves his love for us in that while we were still sinners Christ died for us.

Romans 5:6-8

Our salvation, through the extravagance of God’s mercy and grace, isn’t conditional. It does not come to us only after we make certain promises or meet a list of expectations. It is a free and completely unmerited gift.

Stop and ponder this idea. If we are going to be giving gifts during the Christmas season, what is their purpose? What are they supposed to symbolically represent? Some would say that our tradition of gift giving comes from the Magi’s gifts. Others, the very gift of Jesus. Either way, the gifts that we are honoring were given without expectation, without reservation.

With what spirit do you usually give gifts? Are you giving from your heart? Are you giving to be noticed or appreciated? Are you giving in the hopes of getting? Are you giving out of obligation or from a spirit of generosity and love? Whether bought or made, what your recipient does with their gift isn’t really your concern. That’s hard to accept. The spirit in which you give, this is where we have the opportunity draw closer to God and to one another.

I’d love to hear about your gift-giving experiences. Have you ever found yourself more concerned about what someone will do with a gift, rather than the act of giving itself?

I am so pleased to be able to gift to you this year’s Advent Journal, Embrace Your Own Pace. As I said, this is completely free. My only request, and it’s because of copy right requirements for the Scripture references within the text, is that you please not print off a bunch of copies to pass out to all your friends or neighbors. Please direct anyone interested in this journal here, so that they can print off their own copy. But in truth, I am trying very hard not to expect anything in return for this journal. It is something God placed on my heart to create and I am gifting it back to Him as I share it with you.

Embrace Your Own Pace Advent Journal 2021

Embrace Your Own Pace is an opportunity to walk your own journey through Advent, but with a spiritual guide. It’s a bit like the “Choose Your Own Adventure” books from when you were a kid. There are four guides, or paths to choose from. You might find that one path matches with the pace of your life and you stay consistently on it from start to finish. Or, you may find yourself changing from one path to another as they intersect and your pacing needs to adjust. Briefly, here are the guides:

  • Joseph: Joseph’s pace is one of daily activity. Each day, there is an action to participate in that draws you closer to God and to the relationships you have. They also are designed to highlight the overall theme for the week.
  • The Magi: This path is a more intellectual path. Scripture and readings from saints and Church Fathers have been chosen for your reflection and growth. There is journaling space for the Magi’s path (though any path is welcome to use it, of course.)
  • Mary: Mary’s path is one of deeper pondering. Like the Magi, there is Scripture to reflect on, but also like Joseph’s there are some actions to consider participating in. Above all, Mary’s path is inspired by how Mary “pondered these things in her heart.”
  • The Shepherds: The Shepherd’s path is one of simplicity. Each week, there is one thing to do daily, or one prayer to say daily. These are small things, but hopefully habit building in that they will continue to gently reorient you to God in the midst of a busy schedule.

Below you will find two options to download. One is the 8.5×11 print. This will print the booklet in sequential order. If your printer has double-sided capabilities, or you are confident in printing odds and then evens to save paper, I highly encourage you to do so. The second version is the true booklet print. When you scroll through the document, the pages look all mixed up. I won’t tell you the amount of brain space booklet printing now occupies in my brain but I might have been forced to forget how to tie my shoes to account for it all. Needless to say, you have to print double-sided for the booklet to come out properly.

I wish each of you a blessed and peaceful Advent. May it be full of generosity and gift-giving that fills your heart with love for God and one another.

Daily Graces. kktaliaferro.wordpress.com