Echoes of Motherhood

It’s been a while since I’ve talked about the Focolare. The Focolare Movement is a lay movement within the Church that was started by Chiara Lubich in Trent, Italy, during World War II. Chiara received a series of experiences with a small group of friends that inspired them to dedicate their lives to serving those around them by placing love in the center of their hearts and minds. They were formed by the Gospels, especially John 17 where Jesus prays that “all might be one.” No one was above their notice, time or care and they served their community amidst the devastation of the war. (If you want to read some thoughts about Motherhood inspired by Chiara, check out this post.)

I am currently reading a book which is a compilation of Chiara’s writings and thoughts about the Blessed Mother. I have started this book a number of times, but never finished it. I’m hoping that this time, I go the distance. Lately, I’ve been feeling especially drawn to Chiara, her writings and the movement in general. I’m searching for something, but I don’t know exactly what yet. Perhaps it is something that this movement can offer. Even if not, Chiara has a beautiful way of talking about Mary, Jesus, Love, the Church, you name it. It resonates with me and makes me think. So, I’m going to keep reading, keep learning and continue pondering.

This week, I was reading about how God revealed to Chiara the incredible mystery of the Incarnation and Mary’s Immaculate nature. Chiara recognized that Mary is, as a creature created by God, contained by the Trinity. We all are. But,

Mary contains God! God loved her so much as to make her his mother and his love made him become small before her.

Mary: The Transparency of God, 26

I mean, wow. Let’s just stop everything right there for the next 10 years and contemplate that mystery. Mary, the Mother of God! How our limited language fails us to fully express this mystery. And then, in God’s great generosity, this incredible woman before whom God became small for so she might bear our salvation to the world, she becomes our mother.

Chiara recognized that just as Mary bore Jesus, we are also called to bring Jesus forth into the world. We are, effectively, “little Marys.” Mary allowed herself to be empty before God so that He could fill her with His divine life, His grace, His Son. In becoming imbued with God’s Word, she becomes the model for each of us. Chiara says:

All Christians are called to re-live Mary, who, as we have seen, is the Word fully lived out. We must re-live her in order to generate Christ in ourselves and in others. As St. Ambrose puts it, ‘If according to the flesh, the Mother of Christ is one alone, according to the faith, all souls bring forth Christ.'”

Exposition of the Holy Gospel according to Saint Luke

We are called to generate Christ by allowing ourselves to be filled with the Word. We fill ourselves with so many things – pride, success, ambition, chocolate, television, TikTok, hobbies, worries, plans. None of these things bring us true and lasting happiness. None of these things will bring us to live out our true and deepest vocation – to become Christ-bearers for those around us.

As Chiara said in the above quote, not only are we to bring Christ from within us to others, we help others to generate Christ within themselves. Chiara contemplates Mary as not only Mother of God, but mother to each of us. She pondered,

I remember it was then that I looked upon our mother, Mary, for the first time with the gaze of a daughter, but a daughter who saw her real self in her mother.

From a talk to the men and women focolarini, 1972

As a daughter who saw her real self in her mother. In a twist, I had this experience the other day, but as a mother who heard her real self in her daughter. And friends, it wasn’t exactly a pretty sound. I was upstairs changing a diaper and I heard a conversation between Clare, who is 7, and Gabriel, who is 2. Gabe was asking for help in his sweet and overbearing 2 year old manner. Lots of insistence, lots of NOW, little please or patience or care that he was interrupting Clare’s book. Finally, Clare huffed and said in a tone all too familiar to my ears, “Gaaabe! Do I have to do everything for you!?” She did, to her credit, get up and help him with what he needed. But what I heard come from her could have been my voice, my tone. I was totally caught off guard at this revelation and immediately thought of this last passage which I had just finished reading only a few moments earlier.

If my children are to become little Mary’s, they need an example to follow. If they are to become Christ-bearers, they need to witness what that looks like in everyday life. What I heard from Clare is that I’m coming up short.

Rather than taking this as a discouragement, I’m trying to use it as guidance for the way forward. None of us is perfect, least of all me. I do not think any of this was a coincidence and I am thankful I was aware enough to receive the lesson. My prayer and focus now is that I actually learn from it. Pray for me friends!

Daily Graces. kktaliaferro.wordpress.com

To Be “Knitworthy” – Advent Journals are HERE!

First, the exciting news, Advent Journals for 2021 are here! I have to keep things fun and interesting, and I have to work with what God is inspiring me to write. So this year, there’s only one Advent Journal – Embrace Your Own Pace. For those of you who enjoy the Lectio Divina style journals, fear not. Because those are something God consistently placed on my heart to create for 3+ years, there are now 3+ years of journals to choose from. This upcoming liturgical year that begins this Advent happens to be Year C. All of the previous years’ Advent Journals can be found here.

This year’s journal is linked at the end of this post. As usual, there is no fee, no sign up requirement, no strings. This is a totally free resource to help you encounter Christ during the Advent season.

I wanted to talk a little bit about why I feel so strongly about keeping these journals free to anyone who wants to use them. And, since so much of my creative energy has been poured into knitting lately, I have another knitting story to share.

There is a thing in the knitting world. It seems pretty dominant, I’ve seen it referenced on a number of podcasts (yes, there are multiple knitting podcasts out there), YouTube channels, individual designers and frequently on Instagram. It is this idea that there are people in your life who are, “knit-worthy.” Or, perhaps more accurately, there are people in your life who are “un-knit-worthy.”

Here’s the deal. Nothing handmade is quick if it’s being done well. Knitting, done well or not, is one of those crafts that just takes time. There are those outliers who can knit a sock in 4-5 hours. But that’s just one sock, last I checked most people have 2 feet needing covering. That’s upwards of 10 hours of work for a single pair of socks. And those are the quick people. It usually takes me at least double that time. So if socks can take someone an entire day’s time to knit up, imagine how much time it takes to knit a shawl or sweater. This isn’t taking into account the cost of the yarn, which has a wide range of box store to unique one of a kind indie dyer or hand spinner. To receive a knitted gift is a big gift. It is, to use the cliche phrase, “a labor of love.”

Now, it seems that the knitting world has created some imaginary standards for who is “worthy” for such a gift. These standards, or expectations, include things like:

  • Will this person wear the gift?
  • Will they put the all wool sweater in the dryer?
  • Will they show off the garment/gift to other friends?
  • Will they praise my work and abilities?
  • Will they appreciate the amount of time and effort this gift took and treasure it always?

These are pretty high standards. Ben and I were talking about this phenomenon in the car last week while on a multi-day trek to San Antonio and back for a friend’s wedding. When we buy a gift for someone, of course we hope they will use it. We hope they will take care of it and appreciate the time we spent picking it out for them. We hope it doesn’t end up in their work White Elephant party a few days after we gift it to them. But, these are hopes, not expectations.

Interestingly, when you go on Etsy to purchase a gift that was handmade, the shop owner does not list out any type of expectations to go along with their item. They may recommend washing or care instructions, perhaps they will suggest a way to use or wear the item. Ultimately, however, they know they have no control over how the person purchasing their item will use it, gift it, or otherwise be inclined to destroy it. The transfer of funds from buyer to seller is the point. Once the item is purchased, the seller moves on and so does the buyer.

As Christmas approaches, and as we continue to hear with anxiety about “global supply chain shortages,” the theme of gift giving will be occupying a lot of space in our brains. I would like to challenge you, as I am challenging myself, to consider what the appropriate state of mind a true gift giver ought to be. In order to do this well, it would do us all a lot of good to consider what gifts we have been given, most importantly the gift par excellence – the gift of Jesus.

The gift of Jesus isn’t something we earned. We were not worthy, righteous, or even hitting the minimums. St. Paul very clearly lays it out for us:

For Christ, while we were still helpless, yet died at the appointed time for the ungodly. Indeed, only with difficulty does one die for a just person, though perhaps for a good person one might even find courage to die. But God proves his love for us in that while we were still sinners Christ died for us.

Romans 5:6-8

Our salvation, through the extravagance of God’s mercy and grace, isn’t conditional. It does not come to us only after we make certain promises or meet a list of expectations. It is a free and completely unmerited gift.

Stop and ponder this idea. If we are going to be giving gifts during the Christmas season, what is their purpose? What are they supposed to symbolically represent? Some would say that our tradition of gift giving comes from the Magi’s gifts. Others, the very gift of Jesus. Either way, the gifts that we are honoring were given without expectation, without reservation.

With what spirit do you usually give gifts? Are you giving from your heart? Are you giving to be noticed or appreciated? Are you giving in the hopes of getting? Are you giving out of obligation or from a spirit of generosity and love? Whether bought or made, what your recipient does with their gift isn’t really your concern. That’s hard to accept. The spirit in which you give, this is where we have the opportunity draw closer to God and to one another.

I’d love to hear about your gift-giving experiences. Have you ever found yourself more concerned about what someone will do with a gift, rather than the act of giving itself?

I am so pleased to be able to gift to you this year’s Advent Journal, Embrace Your Own Pace. As I said, this is completely free. My only request, and it’s because of copy right requirements for the Scripture references within the text, is that you please not print off a bunch of copies to pass out to all your friends or neighbors. Please direct anyone interested in this journal here, so that they can print off their own copy. But in truth, I am trying very hard not to expect anything in return for this journal. It is something God placed on my heart to create and I am gifting it back to Him as I share it with you.

Embrace Your Own Pace Advent Journal 2021

Embrace Your Own Pace is an opportunity to walk your own journey through Advent, but with a spiritual guide. It’s a bit like the “Choose Your Own Adventure” books from when you were a kid. There are four guides, or paths to choose from. You might find that one path matches with the pace of your life and you stay consistently on it from start to finish. Or, you may find yourself changing from one path to another as they intersect and your pacing needs to adjust. Briefly, here are the guides:

  • Joseph: Joseph’s pace is one of daily activity. Each day, there is an action to participate in that draws you closer to God and to the relationships you have. They also are designed to highlight the overall theme for the week.
  • The Magi: This path is a more intellectual path. Scripture and readings from saints and Church Fathers have been chosen for your reflection and growth. There is journaling space for the Magi’s path (though any path is welcome to use it, of course.)
  • Mary: Mary’s path is one of deeper pondering. Like the Magi, there is Scripture to reflect on, but also like Joseph’s there are some actions to consider participating in. Above all, Mary’s path is inspired by how Mary “pondered these things in her heart.”
  • The Shepherds: The Shepherd’s path is one of simplicity. Each week, there is one thing to do daily, or one prayer to say daily. These are small things, but hopefully habit building in that they will continue to gently reorient you to God in the midst of a busy schedule.

Below you will find two options to download. One is the 8.5×11 print. This will print the booklet in sequential order. If your printer has double-sided capabilities, or you are confident in printing odds and then evens to save paper, I highly encourage you to do so. The second version is the true booklet print. When you scroll through the document, the pages look all mixed up. I won’t tell you the amount of brain space booklet printing now occupies in my brain but I might have been forced to forget how to tie my shoes to account for it all. Needless to say, you have to print double-sided for the booklet to come out properly.

I wish each of you a blessed and peaceful Advent. May it be full of generosity and gift-giving that fills your heart with love for God and one another.

Daily Graces. kktaliaferro.wordpress.com

Empty, Open Hands

Well it sure has been a while! I’ll admit, this break was not necessarily planned or intended. It just sort of happened. I try to make this blog as close to God speaking through me as possible. So if I’m inspired to write, I write. If I’m not, I try not to force the issue. I’ve been inspired off and on during this impromptu hiatus, but haven’t found the motivation to write about it.

Until today. And I hope it sticks. Because I have some exciting news to share at the end.

This morning, Ben and I got the kids up early for daily Mass. You may recall that we moved back in January. Our new parish is a very active, welcoming community. There is a school attached to the parish and the students attend Mass throughout the week. Each grade/groups of grades go once a week. On Wednesdays, as today happens to be, the youngest students attend Mass.

When the older kids go, they are the ones who lector and serve. The little ones, however, are not old enough yet. Therefore, the homeschooling families traditionally handle these duties on Wednesdays. I love this inclusion of the homeschool families. Of course, we signed up to participate.

On this particular morning, Rosie (age 9) and John (age 10), had prepared to lector and served respectively. However when we arrived we were told by the custodian that Father was away, something had come up, and there wouldn’t be Mass. The kids were disappointed and understandably so.

The lights were off in the church. Only the tabernacle candle and the prayer intention candles at a few statues along the walls were lit. It’s October and we were still early enough in the morning for light to be faint and mysterious. Instead of going home, I suggested we go into the darkened church.

We went in and sat down. After a few minutes of not silence, I started a Rosary. Conveniently, I noticed that we have 4 main statues surrounding the pews – The Blessed Mother, Joseph holding the Child Jesus, a version of the Infant of Prague, and Jesus’ Sacred Heart. We did our first decade in the pews facing the tabernacle. We then began a traveling Rosary, stopping at each statue for a decade.

Our final stop was with Joseph. I was leading again, but standing behind the kids. Clare (age 7), was in front of me, using her hands to keep track of the Hail Mary’s. As she got to the 5th, instead of closing that had and moving on to the next, or just starting over, she kept it open. Then, when she reached the 10th, she kept both hands open and extended for the duration of the prayer.

I was so struck by the simplicity of her posture, yet it’s profound message. I wish I could have taken a picture. Here was a young girl, praying, with hands open and empty, ready to receive the graces bestowed upon her. She did not feel the need to work for the grace, she wasn’t proving she was good enough or worthy enough. It was a very St. Terese of Lisieux moment.

After we finished, Clare came up to me. “I liked that Mommy,” was all she said. I hope she keeps this attitude of prayer. The emptiness, the openness. What a witness to me and my own feeble attempts at proving my worth or being concerned over my accomplishments. God doesn’t need those. He just needs my hands to be ready to receive His gifts.

Speaking of gifts, I’m excited to share that Advent Journals are back and nearly finished! This year we are shaking things up with a brand new format I was inspired to create (truly inspired – I heard this phrase on a knitting podcast of all places and it became a fully fledged Advent journal. Only God can do that!). Remember the “Choose Your Own Adventure” books from when you were a kid? This is going to be similar. The key phrase is “Embrace Your Own Pace.” I’ll be sharing more as I get closer to pushing publish. These will continue to be completely and totally free, as usual. So get excited and please share the good news with your friends, family and parish!