Kids – Page 9 – Daily Graces

“Mommy, Jesus saw a seal! I’ve seen a seal too!”

Published on August 4, 2015August 2, 2015 by KateLeave a comment

Raise your hand if remember the incredibly hysterical and spot on book series, Amelia Bedelia. I loved them growing up. I recall one where Amelia went to a school and was told to plant the bulbs with the children, meaning tulip bulbs. Amelia, in true form, has the children unscrew all the light bulbs to plant instead.

We have similar experiences in our house. Small children are so literal, it trips me up some times. One day, I asked Rosie if she wanted some plain crackers. Now, you have to understand that from before their birth, my children are wired for airplanes. Their father is, after all, a pilot. They have lived on very high air traffic bases their whole lives. They wake up to the sound of jet engines, spend the day watching a variety of aircraft circle the pattern and fall asleep to night sorties and engine tests.

So, what do you think Rosie heard when I asked her if the wanted plain crackers? Plane crackers. As in, airplane shaped crackers. Oh the drama, oh the tragedy and hysterics that ensued from John and Rosie after that misstep. Needless to say, when I ask if they want regular ol’ crackers we call them “simple” crackers. It was easier to explain. Once they start reading we will re-visit the topic, hopefully with less meltdowns.

Another such moment happened at Mass this week. In the Gospel reading Jesus said:

Do not work for food that perishes
but for the food that endures for eternal life,
which the Son of Man will give you.
For on him the Father, God, has set his seal (John 6:27)

After reading that (and the title of this post, hint hint), you may be able to guess which work caught John’s attention. Yes, seal. Obviously seals of all kinds inhabit the sea near Capernaum. It was pretty funny and required some quick whispered explanations. John still isn’t quite sure what kind of seal Jesus saw, but we did clarify that it wasn’t the seals from the zoo.

John’s literal understanding of words at this stage reminded me of my post about having faith like a child. It also got me thinking about literal versus figurative language. Since we were at Mass, this particular thought train brought me to the Eucharistic prayer.

In the three Synoptic Gospels (Matthew, Mark and Luke – called synoptic because they are all similar and based on similar sources, sometimes even the same source – see more here) we hear Jesus say exactly and specifically, “This is my body.” and “This is my blood.” If we are to have faith, and perhaps ears, like a child, then Jesus’ meaning can not be mistaken. Jesus told his disciples that the bread and wine truly became his body and blood, the food and drink of the new covenant. In the Gospel of John (where our Gospel readings from last week and this week came from), Jesus tells his followers in a series of talks that unless they eat the flesh of the Son of Man, they will not enter the Kingdom of Heaven (John 6). Jesus is very specific, even clarifying and re-stating this teaching when queried about it.

The mystery of the Eucharist is a tough mystery to grapple with. How can bead and wine change? How can we be expected to eat flesh and drink blood? The first important thing to remember is that it is a mystery. We will never fully understand the incredible grace we are participating in each liturgy. Second, we have multiple Scripture accounts of the same words of Jesus. This was a community where oral tradition, the stories told, were where records were preserved. Very little was written down and the Gospels were not written as a play-by-play of Jesus’ life. Our earliest Gospel (Mark) was probably written at the earliest, 50 C.E. That’s a full 20-25 years after Jesus’ death. 20 years is a long time for an oral story to change (remember the game “Telephone” from when you were a kid?). But we have the same words of Jesus, written by 3 different authors in 3 different places, plus the extended theology of John. Pretty convincing stuff. Finally, our understanding has not changed over the course of the whole Church. The Eucharist we celebrate today was celebrated by the earliest Christians. We see it in the writings of St. Paul. We also see it in the writings of St. Justin Martyr, a Christian living in Rome and writing around 150 C.E. If you don’t click on any other links in this post, click on this one. Justin writes about what the liturgy looked like in Rome roughly 55 years after the latest written book in the Bible. The consistency with the liturgy we just celebrated this weekend is, for me, beyond words. The liturgy we celebrate today is firmly founded in the traditions and teachings of the apostles. If they took Jesus literally, I think it’s a good bet we should too.

So much whining, where’s the wine?

Published on July 1, 2015July 1, 2015 by KateLeave a comment

John will be 4 years old in a few days. Where did the time go? Cliche, but seriously, where did it go? If someone can find it for me, I’d really like to have it back. Though, if it’s possible, I’d like to be selective about what parts I would like back. For example, I would absolutely love to have back John’s first time he found his toes. He could suck on his toes like they were thumbs, it was hysterical. I would also love to experience again John’s delight when he finally let go of the wall and started to walk across the room. His amazement at his accomplishment was beautiful and so much fun (and a huge new challenge for us) to have a real walker.

With all those good memories are of course some that aren’t so great. Presently, I would be happy to let go of the whining. Oh my goodness, the whining!! It feels like every time I have to tell John “no” or “stop” or “John, you may not play baseball in the house, or give Clare a hug so strong she falls over, or push Rosie out of the way (after politely opening the refrigerator for her) so that you can get your milk first and proceed to spill it all over the refrigerator, the floor, and your sister” he has a complete melt down. Or, my personal favorite, flat out tells me no. Me – his mother! Oh no, that’s not how this house works. It’s all I can do some days to make it to bedtime when I can sit down with a glass of wine.

How I feel at the end the day sometimes, especially when Ben is gone

I’m not sure how I’m going to effectively, compassionately and patiently deal with John. But his whiney attitude has gotten me thinking. Do I whine? Or, to be a bit more sophisticated do I complain (but let’s all be honest, complaining is just whining with somewhat more articulate words)? As I thought about it more, I was shocked to realize that one of the first things that came to mind was a phrase that you may be familiar with: “I don’t mean to complain but…” What I’m really saying is “I’m about to complain about something, but I’m going to throw this little disclaimer in front of it to make it all aright and now you have to listen to me.” And, I hate to admit it, I say this more often than I would like.

God never said “Thou shall not complain.” Jesus never told his disciples “Guys, stop complaining about how many people are following us. I’ll deal with dinner.” God lets us complain.

What is complaining? Why do we do it? We complain when something/someone irritates us or when we are lacking something. When we feel something is out of order, most of us at least, will probably complain about it, even just to ourselves. We complain when we are worried, when we feel things are not going the way we want it, or when something is beyond our control.

To be fair, there are very legitimate times in life when a situation may be unfair, when something happens that we do not like or are hurt by, or when we are feeling under-appreciated.

Take this story from the Gospel of Mark (Mk 4:35-41) from a few Sundays ago. Jesus tells his disciples they should cross to the other side of the lake. That night, there was a storm. Jesus, apparently, is a heavy sleeper and doesn’t notice. The disciples are worried and scared so they go to wake Jesus with this fabulous line: “Teacher, do you not care that we are perishing.” Do you not care is about as close to complaining as you can get in my book. Our pastor had an interesting take on this scripture. He asked us to think about the level of trust the disciples demonstrated in this situation versus how much they should have had in Jesus. Didn’t they trust he would take care of them? Why were they so concerned? They were, after all, pretty much all fishermen. And yet they were worried enough to wake Jesus and complain that he did not care about them.

Jesus’ response is excellent: “Why are you terrified? Do you not yet have faith?” Do you not yet have faith? Our pastor had another interesting insight to offer, one I hadn’t thought about before. Remember how I said maybe Jesus was a heavy sleeper? What if Jesus was only pretending to be asleep, waiting to see how long before the disciples faith weakened – a test, if you will. This was my big take-away.

When I complain about something, I am usually still trying to control and fully understand the situation. I am acting like the disciples – questioning whether or not God cares.

God does care. Time and again, scripture and experience have confirmed for me that God doesn’t simply care, He is wholly committed to my happiness. So, instead of whining about when things aren’t going my way, I need to let go of the problem. The harder I hold onto it, the longer I keep it to myself, the louder the whining. So, when I find myself whining, it means it’s time to take a minute, breathe deeply, sometimes have a glass of wine, and loosen my grip.

If you feel like your boat is rocking in waves beyond your control, maybe it’s time to wake up Jesus, maybe it’s time for that glass of wine.

Mamma duck and her ducklings

Published on May 28, 2015May 28, 2015 by KateLeave a comment

When we walk through parking lots, we tend to get a couple stares from passersby. Typically, I am holding the baby in one arm and holding the hand of one child with the other. This leaves one free toddler, so we all link up. Usually I hold Rosie’s hand and she holds John’s. It’s a rather comical train, trying to find the right pace for everyone’s different size legs. Then John will try to run and poor Rosie will be stretched between. Or Rosie will run and John will get swung out on the end. It’s a sight, I’m sure.

At some point, I started telling the kids that I was the Mamma duck and they were the ducklings. The ducklings all have to follow their Mamma duck just like they do in a pond near our house. They love it. Rosie enjoys rattling off “You are the Mamma duck, I am the girl duck, John is the boy duck, Daddy is the Daddy duck and Clare is the baby duck!”

We had a new iteration of Mamma duck and her ducklings the other day. I mentioned in another post that I am not a super disciplined person. Working out/exercise has never been high on my priority list and the few occasions it has risen the ranks, I haven’t been disciplined enough to actually stick with it.

My husband recently found a new exercise app. He is starting to train for a 100 mile bike ride in the fall and I think was looking for a new way to structure and regiment his work outs. He was saying this app was good because you told it your goals (weight loss, general fitness, build muscle, etc.) and it tailored work outs to that goal. Every day you say how you are feeling (sore, fine, great) and it will increase or decrease the difficulty level. I had to admit, it sounded good.

So, I downloaded it too. I don’t know why, I get so embarrassed, anxious, and silly about exercising. The first day, it’s funny to say now that I waited until he went to work to even open the app. The app had me do some stretching and then it wanted me to walk for 15 minutes. Well, I knew if I took all the kids for a 15 minute walk we would barely make it around the block, probably not the heart rate target the app had in mind. I decided to just walk around the house. I could keep up a decent pace and even had the added “bonus” of carrying Clare for 10 of the 15 minutes (someone should really create a work out plan/app for moms with children under 18 months to do at home, but take into account the fact that they will be carrying said child. It would be awesome, someone please do it. I might even try it out. But I;m starting to digress).

There I was, attempting to walk at a decent pace through my house and both John and Rosie start to follow me. Mamma duck was back with her ducklings trotting (swimming?) along behind her.

These kids want so much to be like me and my husband. It’s what kids do, it’s how they learn – imitation. They observe my reaction to a situation and try to emulate it in their own lives, for better or worse. Even if you don’t have any children, people are watching you, observing your behavior, wondering about your thoughts and reasons for acting as you do. I don’t mean that people are judging you, but we are naturally a curious species. We are inquisitive, we wonder, we ask questions, we try to understand. We all have people we look up to, those we wish to be more like. God made us this way and it is a beautiful thing because it allows us to learn from each other.

This all gets me thinking about who my role models are. Who has been a role model and ceases to be – why? Who are my present role models – why? Who else could be a role model – why?

I’ll share a couple with you:

I am inspired fashion-wise by Joanna Gaines from DIY Network’s Fixer Upper show. I like her simple style of dressing, nothing flashy, simple color palette and strategic use of jewelry.

I am inspired as a parent by a good friend who always to remain rational with her children, even when they are acting and talking in highly irrational ways. She usually maintains a calm, steady voice, and tries to see things from their perspective. She is respectful of their irrationality until they are able to calm themselves to a more rational state of being.

I am inspired as a mother by Chiara Lubich, the founder of a movement in the Catholic Church called the Focolare. Chiara writes about a universal motherhood, based on imitating Mary, the mother of Jesus. Chiara challenges: “In practice we have to …behave toward every neighbor I meet, or for whom I shall be working, as if I were their mother…A mother is always welcoming, always helpful, always hopeful, and covers up everything. She forgives everything in her children.”

I am inspired as a wife by a woman in a small group I am in. She and her husband retired to our area after 30 years in the Air Force. Military life for them involved deployments and separations as you might guess. I have always thought about how wonderful life after the Air Force will be some day, to be able to leave all the separations behind. For this couple, life and job had other plans. Presently, her husband is working 7 hours away from her and a job he loves and they both agree is the best situation for him. They see each other on the weekends. They will continue like this for at least another year. Her poise, confidence, loyalty and faith are contagious.

Who inspires you most today? Who do you hope is inspired by you?