Palm Sunday 2023

This week’s video focuses on remaining in the present moment. This means avoiding dwelling on the past which we cannot change and anxiously awaiting the future which distracts us from the moment we are in.

Chiara Lubich, who I reference in the video, explained living in the present moment as being on a train. Once the train starts, you can’t make it travel backward, even by walking to the back and gazing longingly at the fading station. You can only go forward. Similarly, you can’t make the train get to your destination faster, even by walking the length of the train to the front and pressing your nose to the glass. You can only be exactly where you are in that moment. The train is outside of your control.

Life is similar. We only occupy this space in this moment. Unless you have the spiritual gift of bilocation, I suppose. I do not possess this gift.

Expanding on this idea, if we only have this moment, then we should fill it with as much as possible. Right?

Multitasking is a feat many moms pride themselves on. Let’s see just how much I can juggle today without all the plates crashing to the floor is a game I often play. There’s a lot to get done in one day and often, it feels like not enough time to do it all in. So, we multitask. Sometimes this works out really well, the laundry got folded and at the same time I was able to have a heart to heart phone conversation with a friend. Other times, dinner ends up burned because I was also trying to help a child with their piano practice, finish folding the laundry that got started in the morning, hear about a science project and meet the demands of a noisy 1 year old who is as fickle as they come.

I recently read a quote by Peter Kreeft in his book, Christianity for Modern Pagans, that is thought provoking in regards to multitasking:

“We want to complexity our lives. We don’t have to, we want to. We want to be harried and hassled and busy. Unconsciously, we want the very things we complain about. For if we had leisure, we would look at our selves and listen to our hearts and see the great gaping hole in our hearts and be terrified, because that hole is so big nothing but God can fill it.”

Oh boy. How often do I complain, to myself or others, that I’m just too busy? Often. How often do I sit down to critically think about our schedule, the activities we are engaged in, and how much time we have to accomplish everything on the list? Less than often.

Something the Holy Spirit has been working in me is an awareness of “wasted time.” In a multitasker’s world, nothing is worse than wasted time. 30 seconds of non-productivity here, shocking! 5 minutes of wasted time in the grocery line, the horror! Imagine how much I could have gotten done if I only had green lights on the way to x, y, or z! I think you know what I’m talking about. Some days, I have this attitude so intensely swaying my thoughts I get mad at myself for not knitting enough rows while watching TV, what a slacker! All of these are completely ridiculous and in truth, I have thought them all.

Yet, none of these examples are bringing me closer to Jesus. They make me anxious, annoyed, unpleasant to be around, and generally crabby. They are not life-giving. The truly wasted time is the time I spend wallowing in my perceived lack of productivity instead of relishing the gifts God has given me.

God does not desire for us to fill every moment of every day with work, production, or action. That is not the example He gave us. Work hard, yes. But rest well in complement. That means, waste time! Another way I’ve heard this described is to create white space. White space, like the white space on a paper, isn’t filled with plans, activities, to-do lists, etc. It’s blank, open for possibility. It’s time for play, for prayer, for walks, for reading, for laying in a hammock and listening to birds, it’s meditation, it’s phone calls that don’t include laundry folding or dinner making, it’s fill in the blank because that space is open for anything!

Be on the look out for how you can find some white space. It doesn’t need to be whole afternoons of skipping through daisies. Perhaps it is as small as including 5 extra minutes at the breakfast table to savor your coffee instead of downing it in 2 gulps. Make that cup of tea you are craving in the evening but still have your to-do list running in your head. Say yes to a walk, even if it’s just once around the block. Pause and pray when you are prompted, instead of thinking you’ll remember later. These aren’t wasted minutes, these are what make a life well-lived.

Daily Graces. kktaliaferro.wordpress.com

A Rosary a Day Keeps the Frustration at Bay

Happy All Saints Day!

A few months ago I read a blog post written by a mom who was trying to find creative ways to curb her frustration with her daughter. As probably every parent can attest to, some days are harder (much harder) than others and kids go through various joyful, stressful, sweet and down right awful stages. The system she that proved effective for her was, brilliantly enough, hair ties.

I’m sure that others have thought of this before. She would start the day with 5 or so hair ties on one wrist. If she lost her temper or became overly frustrated with her daughter she would move one tie to the other wrist. She would try to earn that tie back through extra efforts at patience, kindness and gentleness. The goal, of course, to start and end the day with all the ties on the proper wrist.

Fast forward to 2 weeks ago, to what I can only a God moment. I have tried to pray the rosary daily on and off for years now (gosh that makes me sound old!) But it’s true! I can remember being in high school and college trying to say a rosary before bed and never making it past the 2nd decade. Or trying to pray them in the car and losing track of how many Hail Mary’s I said. I’ve tried bracelets, the little rings, pocket rosaries, you name it. Then, 2 weeks ago, it hit me. Use the hair ties!

So now, if you see me walking around with multicolored hair ties on my wrists, it’s not because I’m over prepared for any hair emergency. I have 5 thin, colorful hair ties that start every morning on my right wrist. As I say a decade I move one to my left wrist. The goal, obviously, is to have all the hair ties on my left wrist by the end of the day.

I didn’t realize what a game changer this would be. After a few days of this new practice I found myself describing my day in a whole new way to Ben. Here’s what I said, “You know, it’s been a bit of a rough day. But I had enough patience to handle with it, so it really wasn’t a big deal.” What?!? Who is this person who is speaking through me?

Now it isn’t all sunshine and roses of course. But I have noticed a definite change. I am more focused, especially in those moments when I am wondering what to do next. You know, that found time between finishing the dishes and starting the laundry, or the 2 minutes at your desk before a meeting, or waiting in line at the grocery store? Instead of pulling out my phone or aimlessly wandering through my brain, I am saying a decade of the rosary. There is more found time than I thought I had now that I’m on the lookout for it.

In this new practice, I am starting to feel more in sync with St. Paul who exhorts us to

Rejoice always, pray without ceasing. In all circumstances give thanks, for this is the will of God for you in Jesus Christ. – 1 Thess 5:16-18

So many saints attest to the power of the rosary, here is just a small sampling:

“”The greatest method of praying is to pray the Rosary.” – Saint Francis de Sales

“The holy Rosary is a powerful weapon. Use it with confidence and you’ll be amazed at the results.” -St. Josemaria Escriva

“The Rosary is the most excellent form of prayer and the most efficacious means of attaining eternal life. It is the remedy for all our evils, the root of all our blessings. There is no more excellent way of praying.” Pope Leo XIII

“No one can live continually in sin and continue to say the Rosary: either they will give up sin or they will give up the Rosary” – Bishop Hugh Doyle

“The Rosary is the most beautiful and the most rich in graces of all prayers; it is the prayer that touches most the Heart of the Mother of God…and if you wish peace to reign in your homes, recite the family Rosary.” – Pope Pius X

“Our Lady – he says – is always close to Her children and ready to help when we pray to her, when we ask for her protection… let us remember she is always ready to serve and never keeps anyone waiting.” – Pope Francis

 

Today we celebrate all the saints in heaven, including Mary who is Queen of them all. What a most excellent day to pray a rosary!

Daily Graces. kktaliaferro.wordpress.com

The Timekeeper

I’m not sure what moms did before we understood there were hours and minutes keeping track of the day. How on earth did one monitor sharing, playdates and events?? Now, I realize that our ancient forebears probably didn’t have scheduled swim lessons at the community pool or playdates with specific families at the local playground. But sharing, sharing has always been something to deal with. I’m not sure how many times I say or I hear my kids say, “In how many minutes?” when it comes to sharing. Sometimes we even go so far as to set a timer, just to make sure all is fair.

A big part of my time as a mom is being the timekeeper for the family. How many minutes until dinner? How many minutes until playgroup? How many more minutes until we can go home? Why don’t we have a playdate today? What time is that meeting again? Is the commissary closed yet? Watch out, Clare only took an hour long nap today and she is grouchy this evening.

So much time is spent keeping track of time.

We recently decided to take our oldest two out of gymnastics. They had been involved for about a year and loved to go, but it was taking up a lot of time and becoming increasingly difficult for Clare to stay on the sidelines. Plus, there weren’t any times when both John and Rosie could be in class at the same time, so two mornings a week were filled automatically with gymnastics.

The Timekeeper. kktaliaferro.wordpress.com #DailyGraces
Pocket Watch by Romina Campos (2008) via Flickr, CC. Altered by Kate Taliaferro 2016.

We are a few weeks into the new schedule and I have to say it was the right move. I am less stressed out about getting things done in the mornings, especially on Thursdays when we were trying to cram homeschool plus gymnastics all before 11am. The weather is beautiful right now so we are spending more time outside in the mornings and the kids are getting just as much exercise, if not more, by being home and playing. Plus, we now have so much more time for simple, unstructured play.

Watching my kids simply play has been so wonderful. I can see their imaginations working as they come up with different renditions of how to rescue Rapunzel or Snow White or how they intertwine the characters from a book we are reading and a tv show they watched. I love when they are able to problem-solve together and celebrate one another’s achievements.

Now to be completely transparent, not all unstructured play is picturesque. They are still kids and still fight, still talk over one another, still don’t always want to share and definitely all must be first. But that’s ok, it’s all part of growing up.

As an adult, I am seeing in my children’s need for unstructured play a similar need in myself. Even though I don’t necessarily need “playtime”, having time that isn’t scheduled is so important. Sometimes it is ok to just sit and listen to the wind in the bushes in front of my house or watch the hummingbirds hover by their feeder just beyond the front window. Some days I need to just crochet or knit for its own sake, not not because I want to finish the project faster. I try not to “schedule” too much time for writing, rather waiting for inspiration to strike and then writing that day when I can, carrying it over to the next when I don’t finish. To be free to create means first I must have the freedom, a.k.a. the time.

Time is a precious thing. We can all think of days that we wish we had spent differently. Lately, I have started to build some safeguards into my day to help me make sure I accomplish a few things every day. The most important for me is to pray.

I pray everyday, but I do not necessarily have structured prayer every day. Something that I have done to help me remember to pray throughout the day is to set alarms on my phone which are simple reminders to pray (took this idea from my mom – thanks Mom!). At 1:30pm every day my alarm goes off and reminds me to slow down and pray 2 consecration prayers, one is my consecration to Jesus through Mary and the other is a consecration to Merciful Love. (I will be posting about both of these consecrations in the coming weeks, stay tuned!). And at 3pm, an alarm goes off so that I can pray the 3 o’clock hour prayer of Divine Mercy. Just last night I realized that I still have the Angelus memorized from my high school days praying it in our school chapel with a few students and our theology professor so I might start either a noon or 9am alarm. Personally, I need alarms or I forget (I tried and miserably failed).

So I am the timekeeper, both of my own life and my family’s life. When I am doing a good job, it is a blessing. When we get over committed and stretched thin, I resent it. So, as a challenge to me and to you, how well are you managing your time? Are you resentful of how your day is filled or do you enjoy a balance between work, rest and play? What can you do (it might be to say “no” to something) to achieve a better balance?

Peace and blessings

Kate