Palm Sunday 2023

This week’s video focuses on remaining in the present moment. This means avoiding dwelling on the past which we cannot change and anxiously awaiting the future which distracts us from the moment we are in.

Chiara Lubich, who I reference in the video, explained living in the present moment as being on a train. Once the train starts, you can’t make it travel backward, even by walking to the back and gazing longingly at the fading station. You can only go forward. Similarly, you can’t make the train get to your destination faster, even by walking the length of the train to the front and pressing your nose to the glass. You can only be exactly where you are in that moment. The train is outside of your control.

Life is similar. We only occupy this space in this moment. Unless you have the spiritual gift of bilocation, I suppose. I do not possess this gift.

Expanding on this idea, if we only have this moment, then we should fill it with as much as possible. Right?

Multitasking is a feat many moms pride themselves on. Let’s see just how much I can juggle today without all the plates crashing to the floor is a game I often play. There’s a lot to get done in one day and often, it feels like not enough time to do it all in. So, we multitask. Sometimes this works out really well, the laundry got folded and at the same time I was able to have a heart to heart phone conversation with a friend. Other times, dinner ends up burned because I was also trying to help a child with their piano practice, finish folding the laundry that got started in the morning, hear about a science project and meet the demands of a noisy 1 year old who is as fickle as they come.

I recently read a quote by Peter Kreeft in his book, Christianity for Modern Pagans, that is thought provoking in regards to multitasking:

“We want to complexity our lives. We don’t have to, we want to. We want to be harried and hassled and busy. Unconsciously, we want the very things we complain about. For if we had leisure, we would look at our selves and listen to our hearts and see the great gaping hole in our hearts and be terrified, because that hole is so big nothing but God can fill it.”

Oh boy. How often do I complain, to myself or others, that I’m just too busy? Often. How often do I sit down to critically think about our schedule, the activities we are engaged in, and how much time we have to accomplish everything on the list? Less than often.

Something the Holy Spirit has been working in me is an awareness of “wasted time.” In a multitasker’s world, nothing is worse than wasted time. 30 seconds of non-productivity here, shocking! 5 minutes of wasted time in the grocery line, the horror! Imagine how much I could have gotten done if I only had green lights on the way to x, y, or z! I think you know what I’m talking about. Some days, I have this attitude so intensely swaying my thoughts I get mad at myself for not knitting enough rows while watching TV, what a slacker! All of these are completely ridiculous and in truth, I have thought them all.

Yet, none of these examples are bringing me closer to Jesus. They make me anxious, annoyed, unpleasant to be around, and generally crabby. They are not life-giving. The truly wasted time is the time I spend wallowing in my perceived lack of productivity instead of relishing the gifts God has given me.

God does not desire for us to fill every moment of every day with work, production, or action. That is not the example He gave us. Work hard, yes. But rest well in complement. That means, waste time! Another way I’ve heard this described is to create white space. White space, like the white space on a paper, isn’t filled with plans, activities, to-do lists, etc. It’s blank, open for possibility. It’s time for play, for prayer, for walks, for reading, for laying in a hammock and listening to birds, it’s meditation, it’s phone calls that don’t include laundry folding or dinner making, it’s fill in the blank because that space is open for anything!

Be on the look out for how you can find some white space. It doesn’t need to be whole afternoons of skipping through daisies. Perhaps it is as small as including 5 extra minutes at the breakfast table to savor your coffee instead of downing it in 2 gulps. Make that cup of tea you are craving in the evening but still have your to-do list running in your head. Say yes to a walk, even if it’s just once around the block. Pause and pray when you are prompted, instead of thinking you’ll remember later. These aren’t wasted minutes, these are what make a life well-lived.

Daily Graces. kktaliaferro.wordpress.com

The Will of God

I have a tattoo. I don’t think I’ve shared that here. It’s on my wrist, as you can see, and it references Deuteronomy 30:14. Last summer, Deuteronomy 30:10-14 was the First Reading one Sunday. On that day, I felt these words of Scripture pierce my heart in a way I never had before. This is the passage in full:

Moses said to the people:
“If only you would heed the voice of the LORD, your God,
and keep his commandments and statutes
that are written in this book of the law,
when you return to the LORD, your God,
with all your heart and all your soul.

“For this command that I enjoin on you today
is not too mysterious and remote for you.
It is not up in the sky, that you should say,
‘Who will go up in the sky to get it for us
and tell us of it, that we may carry it out?’
Nor is it across the sea, that you should say,
‘Who will cross the sea to get it for us
and tell us of it, that we may carry it out?’
No, it is something very near to you,
already in your mouths and in your hearts;
you have only to carry it out.”

Deuteronomy 30:10-14

The last part, about carrying out the commands of God, was what struck me. God’s Will isn’t so far away I have to strive to find it. It is not too mysterious, not some lofty thing I cannot attain. It is already written in my heart. Do I have the courage to carry it out?

So many times in my life I have allowed myself to become trapped by the grandness of God’s plan and how it is too big for me to see my part in. While this is true, God’s ways are not my ways nor are His thoughts my thoughts, and yes, His grand design for the whole world is beyond my comprehension, that does not mean I don’t know anything at all. I don’t know where God will take me in 10 years, in 5, in tomorrow. What I can know is God’s Will in this present moment. How? Jesus told us in last Sunday’s Gospel reading and in so many other places in the Gospels:

Love

Love your enemies. Love your neighbors. Love yourself. Love God. Act out of love for God. Pray because you love God.

What do you need to do, now, in the present moment? Love. And in the next moment? Love. And in all the moments that follow? Love.

This is HARD! Especially when love looks like cleaning up after a sick child in the middle of the night, or forgiving a colleague for a hurtful comment. Love is sacrifice, love takes courage, love is selfless.

I can give a recent example.

Ben had left for a 3-4 week trip and we were only on day 3. The day Ben left, Nathan (the 1 year old) threw up twice, once in the middle of the night in his bed. He was fine for a day and then was sick again the following. The rest of the kids missed their dad, were tired from a week of school and other activities, and generally needy. Gabriel, the 3 year old, was especially insistent for every moment of my attention he could get. And I just couldn’t take it. I was snappy all morning, harsh when I didn’t need to be, impatient and generally awful. I knew it and I chose to lean into selfishness instead of following Deuteronomy’s advice.

Our big 4 kids had piano practice so they were out of the house for 2 hours. I let Gabe and Nathan watch some Bluey (of course, Bluey!), and I sat down with my coffee. The reality of the morning and my behavior hit me. I was so discouraged. I almost went and got my book to distract myself and get a break from it all.

Then I felt it. The little nudge, the random thought that you don’t know where it came from. “Don’t run away, sit here. Sit here and then do something to make it right.” So I did. It was probably the first moment I truly tried to do God’s Will all day. I sat, and then came the next nudge, “Write to them.” I got out 5 cards and I wrote apology notes to each one of my kids (Nathan excluded, I just gave him extra hugs). I apologized, I asked for forgiveness. I also let them know, according to their ages, how one specific behavior was not helping our family thrive. I asked them to think on it and see if it could be a place to work on. I told them I loved them.

I left the notes on their pillows and went peacefully to read. For about 30 seconds because it was time to turn off Bluey but that’s ok. I had followed God’s Will for those moments, my cup was being filled with grace and His Love.

I’d love to say we had a beautiful day after the kids read their notes. I’d love to say they had marked improvement in behavior, that I was was gracious and gentle from that moment forward. They did not, and I was not. But it was still better. I reigned myself in faster, I spoke more calmly. It was easier to make the right choice faster, even if I initially made the wrong one. I had become more attentive to God’s Will in the present moment because I had practiced it earlier.

I have grown so much in my trust in the Holy Spirit since hearing this reading. It has changed my relationship with God and encouraged me to form a deeper bond with the Holy Spirit. I chose to get the tattoo because I want to keep these words ever present with me, “God’s Will is already in my heart, I have only to carry it out.” This is not a lesson I will ever be done learning.

God has grand designs for each of us. Perhaps we have already seen Him working in our lives, perhaps we are wondering when it will all begin. No matter what God’s larger plans are, His perfect Will for each of our individual moments is the same: Love.

P.S. As a woman and mom, I know I have gotten trapped in the lie that everyone else needs to be served before I can take care of myself. Self-care is a big topic is popular society and it is important. We do need to take care of ourselves, but in a way that does not lead to selfishness or entitlement. It takes practice, it is a work of discernment. If you struggle with the line between no-care, self-care and selfish-care, take it to prayer. Ask the Holy Spirit to pay special attention to this area and to inspire you to rest how and when you need to rest, and to recognize when your focus on rest is inhibiting your ability to do God’s Will.

Daily Graces. kktaliaferro.wordpress.com

Bluey…Again

I know, I know. Repeat topic and a kids’ show no less. But seriously, Bluey has got it going on! The particular episode in question is entitle, “Duck Cake” should any of you want to go watch it for yourselves (you should, 8 minutes well spent).

Episode synopsis: It’s Bingo’s (the little sister) birthday and she gets to pick out her cake. She chose, obviously, a duck shaped cake. In a brilliant move by the creators, its Dad who gets the privilege of trying to construct a duck out of cake while Mom takes Bingo to hockey practice. Blue stays home and is asked to clean up the huge Lego bonanza she and Bingo have created in the entryway to the house. But only her half, let’s keep that clear.

Bluey, as most any child, doesn’t exactly throw herself into her task. She wants to help make the cake. Dad tells her she can’t just help with the fun stuff, she has to also do what she was told. Bluey, unsurprisingly, begins bartering with him. First stickers, then money, then being able to lick the beater. She does, eventually get her side of the mess all cleaned up. While she is just starting to lick the beater, Dad is attempting to position the head on the duck cake. It falls to the side and splats on the floor. He sinks to the floor in defeat, taking a few minutes to sit in sorrow. Bluey looks from her beater to the mess, and quietly hops off her stool to clean up the mess. After, she offers a suggestion to Dad about how to fix it, which he accepts but says he has to clean the floor first. He is shocked to find it already clean. He makes intentional, genuine eye contact with Bluey and says, “Thank you.”

Bluey’s tail starts to wag. This tail wag is central to the whole story. Bingo knew the Duck Cake was her cake because when she saw it, it made her tail wag. On her way out the door with Mom, she asks how other animals know if they are happy without tails, because when her tail wags it tells her she is happy.

None of Bluey’s other “prizes” for cleaning up made her tail wag. She decides to try to make it happen again. She quickly goes and cleans up Bingo’s side of the mess. When Bingo and Mom get home and see the room clean, Mom has a similar thank you moment with Bluey. Her tail wags again.


8 minute episode people, it’s amazingly genius! I already loved it. Then, I read this by Chiara Lubich:

In our daily duties there are always burdensome elements which entail some measure of fatigue and discomfort. But these are the very things that we should appreciate as precious gifts that we can offer to God.

Everything that tastes of suffering is, in fact, of utmost importance. The world does not accept suffering, because it is no longer familiar with the value Christian life gives it, and because suffering goes against our human nature. Thus, the world tries to avoid and to ignore it.

Yet, suffering has a mysterious task” It can become a way to happiness, to that true and enduring happiness which alone can fill our hearts. It is the same happiness that God enjoys and that we humans, destined to what is absolute, can share already in this life.

Precisely through his suffering, Jesus has given joy to every person:joy here on earth and unending joy in the next life. In the same way, by accepting and offering to him our daily worries and concerns, we obtain happiness for ourselves and for others.

Chiara Lubich, “A Mysterious Task.” Heaven on Earth. New City Press, 2000. pg. 78

We don’t find happiness in prizes or bribes. We find true happiness when we serve others, when we suffer even a little for someone else. The greatest achievements come from a path of suffering, self-denial, sacrifice. Running a marathon, owning a company, giving birth to a child. The list goes on and on. As Chiara said, the greatest and most perfect joy to enter the world, to change the world, came through the Cross of Christ.

Every day, we have the opportunity to participate in this mysterious task. To suffer and sacrifice on behalf of others which will bring both us and them happiness. Letting someone else go before you in line, listening well to a child’s story of their imaginary friend without also scrolling on your phone, tidying up another person’s mess, anticipating a need before being asked. That list, too, goes on and on.

We don’t have tails which tell us when we are happy or not. But we do have a heart. Our heart warms when we make good choices but especially when we make a good, hard, choice. We have a conscience which, when well-formed, can help to steer us along a path which leads to that true and lasting happiness. It means discipline and often self-denial. It is hard. This is why Jesus talks about how the vine grower (God the Father), “takes away every branch that does not bear fruit, and every one that does he prunes so that it bears more” (John 15:2). God desires the very best for us, and sometimes that means pruning away what is holding us back from bearing more fruit.

Advent isn’t over yet. There is still time (there is always time, even when it isn’t Advent) to consider how the birth of the Savior has changed the world, has changed you. How is God calling you to serve those around you so He can love them through your actions of love and sacrifice?

I am thoroughly enjoying how this sweet show is encouraging such good conversations in our family. I hope you’re finding it inspirational as well. I promise, this isn’t going to turn into a Bluey fan blog, but I can’t promise this will be the last post about it either. 😉