Discipleship – Daily Graces

Encanto – Being Enough

Published on May 15, 2022 by KateLeave a comment

This week we are going to step back from Isabela and spend time with the eldest Madrigal sister, Luisa. Luisa’s gift is strength. I wish I could have been in the room when the idea of a donkey valet service was floated and accepted. Yes, Luisa is super strong and one of her many, many duties is to “park” everyone’s donkey as they come to Antonio’s gift celebration.

Luisa is everywhere. She seems to have an uncanny ability to be available to respond to any need or request. Need a piano? Luisa can bring it over. Need your donkey parked? Luisa can get it. Got a bunch of rocks to move, furniture to haul, a house to relocate? Luisa, Luisa, Luisa. She does everything with a smile and doesn’t seem to complain.

Thinking back to Isabela, the mask she wore was one of aloof perfection. Luisa’s is different. She is, to quote Minnie Mouse, a “happy helper.” No frowns, groans, or hesitation. She is ready and able in the here and now.

Again, this facade only goes skin deep. Mirabel goes to Luisa to ask her about the miracle, her gift and their Uncle Bruno. During the course of the conversation and Luisa’s song, we learn a lot about her. The opening lines get me every time:

I’m pretty sure I’m worthless if I can’t be of service
Luisa, Surface Pressure, Encanto

Punch in the gut, isn’t it? Outside looking in, we can easily call out this kind of negative self-talk. Of course Luisa isn’t worthless if she takes a break or chooses to sit down and read a book for an afternoon. But the expectations placed upon her both by others and herself preclude any moment of rest or relaxation.

I don’t know who else needs to hear this today, but it’s something I need most days. I am not able to meet everyone’s needs, and I am not supposed to. I am not superwoman, supermom, super clean, super anything. I am me and me only spreads so far. Should I give freely of my self, act with generosity and kindness, try to offer a smile while doing hard work? A resounding Yes! Do I need to shoulder all of the burdens of others, complete every single task on my list before taking time to eat lunch, and make myself so available I neglect my own basic needs? A resounding No!

You don’t really notice just how much Luisa is taken advantage of until her song. It’s kind of trippy (donkeys make a prominent appearance) but effective. Another line gets me later in the song:

Give it to your sister and never wonder if the same pressure would have pulled you under.
Luisa, Surface Pressure, Encanto

How often do we ask others to do something for us, not because we genuinely need help but because we just don’t want to do it ourselves. Another gut punch, right? Luisa is being asked to handle burdens that were not meant for her to bear. She is then taking on even more, convincing herself that this is her place. She is to be “of service” for anyone who needs her. She doesn’t get a will of her own, she doesn’t have choices. She is able and willing. Period.

I’m not saying that we are doing this to anyone in our lives and I hope no one resonated so strongly with Luisa that you see it happening to you. Clearly this is an extreme, fictional example. But if you do recognize characteristics of Luisa in your relationships, think about that. Seek outside advice or professional help if you aren’t sure how to find a proper balance between expected service and help that is freely given.

It’s not all work and sadness for Luisa. Just like Isabela, Luisa experiences a transformation. First, she feels her power drained and this is what prompts her line about worthlessness. She can’t imagine what it would be to be weak. What other gifts does she have besides her strength? She’s never had to contemplate this before. At the end of the movie, Luisa sings “I may not be as strong but I’m getting wiser.” Just before that moment, she, Isabela and Mirabel all raised a slab of stone together, something Luisa would have done on her own at the start. She is growing in wisdom, relying on others’ strength as well as her own.

When we step back and aren’t a “do it all” person, we provide space for others to share their gifts and share the load of the work. No one is meant to do everything themselves. We see this so clearly in Jesus’ ministry. Did Jesus need apostles? No. Was it good and right for Him to teach them, and then share the ministry of preaching with them? Absolutely. He did so much as to send them out on their own, spreading His words and mission. He continues to empower the Church today.

We believe that God has given each of us many gifts, each meant to help us in our unique mission in life. But the gifts given do not outweigh our personhood. We are a unique individual, made in the image and likeness of God. This is at the core of each person and the reason every person is deserving of respect and dignity. We can help hone, cultivate and celebrate the gifts of others. We must cherish the unrepeatable person bearing them no matter who they are.

Encanto – Perfectionism

Published on May 3, 2022May 11, 2022 by KateLeave a comment

Broadly speaking, perfectionism is a theme Disney has recently called upon in its movies. I’m thinking here about Moana, (“I wish I could be the perfect daughter.”) and Elsa from Frozen (her need for perfect control over her powers). We find it again in Encanto.

Right from the start, Mirabel identifies her older sister, Isabela, as “the perfect, golden child.” On the surface, Isabela’s power seems pretty frivolous. She can make flowers appear at will. That’s it. Just showers of flowers wherever and whenever. Through Mirabel’s eyes, Isabela is also gorgeous, graceful, praised and adored by all, and in a word, perfect.

We all know no one is perfect, not even Disney characters. Today, let’s think about why perfectionism, especially when it’s imposed or expected of us from the outside, is harmful. Also, how can unrealistic expectations harm both individuals and relationships.

Quick synopsis. Isabela is planning to become engaged to the local poetry writing hunk, Mariano. I should amend that statement: Abuela is planning to have Isabela engaged to Mariano. We find out in Isabela’s feature song scene, “What Else Can I Do?” that she was only going to marry Mariano because it was what the family wanted, not what she wanted. In her anger and frustration at Mirabel who has drawn this revelation out of her, she creates something new and completely out of her ordinary – a asymmetrical spiked cactus.

Mirabel and Isabela are envious of what the other has. Mirabel wants to be loved and accepted the way she perceives Isabela is. Isabela wishes for nothing more than to be able to be who she truly is without the pressure to be perfect all the time which is how she views Mirabel. The two sisters clash often in the first half of the movie because they haven’t taken the time to understand one another. The “perfect” Isabela cannot tolerate Mirabel’s haphazard and carefree attitude because it isn’t something she’s ever experienced.

In her song, Isabela reflects that she shows the world a perfect facade of herself, but “so much hides behind my smile.” While perfection might seem beautiful on the outside, it sure is up tight on the inside trying to hold everything in place. It is interesting to think back a few scenes in the movie to the song about Bruno. In the song, “We Don’t Talk About Bruno,” Isabela reveals that Bruno foresaw that she would have the life of her dreams. This has lead her to believe that the current life she has must be the life of her dreams, even if she is actually unhappy. What a distorted understanding of how life ought to be lived!

How many of us fall into this trap? Think about someone you know or know of who leads a “perfect life.” From the outward appearances, perhaps they do have it all together. But do they really, under the surface, have all their ducks in a row? We all know the answer is no, no one is perfect. Yet still we hold people up as somehow better or closer to perfection. When they fail to live up to the unrealistic expectations, their fall is usually more of a crash than a slip or slide.

Perfectionism is a dangerous thing. Perfectionism can hold us back from trying something new because we fear failing or being perceived as less than. Perfectionism forces us to be “on” all the time, constantly vigilant for any small slip that would show something not quite right. Perfectionism sets relationships up for unrealistic expectations that can never be met.

In the end, perfectionism leads to a lot of boredom. Think about Isabela’s flowers. She can make miles and miles of perfectly structured roses but is unable to use her power to express her true emotions. The same flowers over and over again because it’s what is expected, it’s what is perfect. Isabela and the audience learn that beauty doesn’t need to be perfect, it needs to be authentic.

Jesus, thankfully, didn’t pick disciples who were perfect. Far from it. Whole homilies have been dedicated to the antics of St. Peter. Thomas demanded a sign from someone who had come back from the dead. They were consistently confused, unaware, off fishing or asleep. The disciples were decidedly not model students (or even fishermen!). This doesn’t mean they weren’t well chosen. Jesus selected these men not because they were perfect but because their hearts were ready to receive what He offered. Filled with the Holy Spirit, they were exactly the right men who would carry out the Good News to all people.

Jesus didn’t wait for the disciples to be ready to follow Him. Do you think they ever would have been ready? Jesus is calling you just as He called them. He isn’t asking you to be perfect, or even a certain distances along the path toward it. He is asking you to follow Him. The rest, holy perfection included, will come with time as He gifts it to you.

Restoring Dignity: An Interview with Erin Bill

Published on August 25, 2019August 25, 2019 by KateLeave a comment

I don’t think many would deny our country is in a challenging time. Opinions are strongly held and compromise seems a lofty and far away goal. Depending on where in the United States you live, the faces of our issues may vary. Our cities are unique, made up of many different people working many different jobs. Not everyone has close contact with asylum seekers or immigrants who have recently arrived in the United States. While it may at times seem our issues are too difficult to overcome, stories such as the one I’m about to share will hopefully inspire you to see our commonalities before highlighting our differences. I also hope it causes you to pause and spend some time reflecting on what you’re grateful for in your life.

One of my dear friends, Erin Bill, is a fellow military spouse who lives in San Antonio. She and her family have been stationed there for a few years now and she has been volunteering with two groups helping asylum seekers who are routinely dropped off by Border Patrol in the city. I’ll let her tell you more about that in the interview.

Erin has shared some of her experiences with me throughout her time volunteering and recently told me a particularly moving story. She was helping a group of Congolese women wash babies and clothes in the sink of the building they were staying in. Erin had a mop. A standard, simple squeegee mop. She was tidying up the floor so no one would slip on the wet surface even though cleaning floors isn’t exactly her favorite chore. As she worked the women stopped and stared. They were amazed at the mop. Erin was struck, she said, by their delight in the mop and the drain in the middle of the floor. Here they were, smiling at the tool she typically avoided. She watched these women cheerfully tending to their chores, seeing the novelty of a mop and a faucet and a drain with new, grateful eyes. Cleaning a floor with clean water from pipes and even more pipes to carry the dirty water – what was a chore swiftly became an experience of luxury.

When she shared this experience with me I knew it was one that had to be told to you all. What follows is an interview with Erin about her work, those she works with and the people she serves.

How did you start volunteering with the Interfaith Welcome Coalition and RAICES?

I read about these groups’ outreach in 2017 after several hundred asylum seekers were released without warning in San Antonio. They stepped up to house the families in a local church and help them on their way. It really called to me as work I could serve in as I speak Spanish well, grew up in a border state, and the best part was that I could work around being a stay-at-home mom and come in whenever I was able to. I joined the outreach sent to help families dropped off at the San Antonio Greyhound Bus station with supplies. We work alongside RAICES, which provides legal information to migrants as no counsel is provided for them in immigration court. I also do document translations for RAICES at home.

Who primarily are you serving?

IWC primarily serves people who arrive at the border or cross the border and ask for asylum. Historically, they were detained while officers evaluate whether they had a “credible fear” of being returned to their home country. If they were found to have a credible fear and no security issues, they were generally released to a sponsor to apply for asylum. There are three large immigration detention centers south of San Antonio and these asylum seekers were released at the bus station where they would pick up tickets purchased by their family in the U.S. That is who we usually encountered and helped on their way.

In the past year the system has been upended quite a bit. The government no longer makes sure everyone they release has a sponsor or a destination in the U.S. Some do and some don’t—it’s very haphazard. We have helped a lot of people who are released pending their court date straight from the border and may arrive without any tickets or money. Most are from the Northern Triangle—El Salvador, Honduras and Guatemala. I have also met migrants from Nicaragua, Venezuela, Ecuador, Haiti, Congo, Angola and China.

How has your work challenged you, inspired you or caused you to think about things differently?

One of the founders of our ministry, Sr. Denise LaRock, always talks about restoring the migrants’ dignity. That is the amazing thing about getting to work with these families at the Greyhound station. They come in very frightened and disoriented, with tired and frightened children in tow. Being able to see them smile when I say “Welcome” and explain to them that we can help them understand their tickets, get on their bus, and give them some extra diapers for the baby is an amazing feeling. Simple things, like medicine for a headache, a toy car and a sack lunch just make the parents and children light up. Many have had people extort them on the way to the United States and sometimes they can’t believe that the faithful of San Antonio want to help them for free.

IWC uses a trauma-informed care model and sends volunteers for training in trauma. Learning how trauma can manifest in people appearing very quiet, frightened or aggressive helps me take those stressors less personally when I volunteer. It can be emotionally overwhelming at first to be faced with people who are suffering so deeply. Instinctively you want to step back and protect yourself at first.

It constantly causes me to reflect on and to be grateful for the safety I live in and for the food and shelter that I have. I’m also reminded that I don’t have these blessings because I am more deserving of them than any of the people I meet. To the extent I have these things, it is so that I can use them for others as Jesus instructs us to do.

Their faith is an inspiration to me. I wear my Lady of Guadalupe bracelet or necklace when I go to the bus station, since she is the patroness of all the Americas. That can be a great point of connection with the families, who recognize her and smile. Many arrive wearing or holding rosaries. A phrase of thanks I often hear is “Dios te lo pague,” which means “May God repay you.”

It can be very difficult knowing that many of the people I meet will not win asylum and will be ordered deported. It is also hard to say goodbye to them each day knowing that not everyone they meet here will be welcoming or kind. I have had to lean on my faith that our work matters anyway, even if only God knows the outcome.

Can you share a little more about the organizations themselves, how others can help their work and those they serve?

IWC is a group of churches and temples in San Antonio that have joined forces and funds to support migrants in the city. RAICES is a secular organization that focuses on legal representation for immigrants, on advocacy and on refugee resettlement. They are able to represent immigrants free of charge in court proceedings and they also pay bail so that immigrants are not kept in detention longer than necessary. They are both in need of cash donations, especially for IWC which doesn’t have as high of a profile.

The shelter with the infamous mop is run by Travis Park Methodist Church and IWC helps staff it with volunteers. It is in the church’s Sunday school rooms near the Greyhound station and gives people released by ICE or CBP a safe place to stay overnight if they don’t arrive with tickets. Seeing different faith communities, nonprofits and the city government coordinate to provide the shelter has been wonderful.

Currently IWC is raising money to support shelters in Mexico where the U.S. government is currently making many asylum seekers wait for their court date instead of releasing them to sponsors in the U.S. The border cities are very dangerous for migrant families and the shelters are not adequately funded by the Mexican government. We are also constantly fundraising for money to put together backpacks of supplies and to buy medicine, diapers and cell phone minutes. This is a video the local PBS station put together about Sr. Denise that gives a good look at what we do.

Another great way to help is to learn about the asylum system in the United States. The national media generally don’t do a great job explaining how complicated the process is for any immigrant and how little resources are available to help people navigate the system correctly. This is one good summary: And this is one that explains some of the roots of Central American migration.

I am so thankful to Erin for sharing her thoughts, experiences and volunteer efforts with us. I hope you found this interview as insightful as I did.